RACHEL LEE-JONES CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST & DR JENNIFER SOLE CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST WEDNESDAY 2 ND DECEMBER 2015 Negotiating Adolescence Highbury Fields coffee morning

It’s so unfair

Adolescence Normal developmental stage Central task is separation and individuation  Developing a sense of self  Strengthening independence Not a linear task  Can tolerate differing amounts of separation at different times  May seek closeness at times of stress and become more dependant again

Brain Development Brain is developing until mid twenties Controlling impulses and ability to plan ahead are the last to develop Parts of the brain that process emotional experiences are more active in teenagers Mis-interpretation of facial expression  ‘what you looking at?’  ‘why you having a go at me’

Negotiating adolescence Increased demands  Puberty  Identity  Peer relationships  Sexuality  Academic demands  Planning for the future, uncertainty  Risk taking and experimentation  Internet safety demands resources

Puberty Rapid physical, emotional and physical changes over which individuals have no control Hormonal changes can affect mood and behaviour Differences in stages of puberty can trigger anxieties – increase self-consciousness

Peer relationships The changes associated with adolescence typically contribute to conflict with friends and changing friendship groups Negotiating relationships in adolescence supports teenagers to develop skills in compromise, empathising, and rupture and repair Typically these difficulties settle as they mature through adolescence

How to best support your teenager Take an interest in your teenager – build their self esteem Set appropriate boundaries – keep them safe Ensure appropriate communication about changes in your and their lives Seek outside help if you are worried

Take an interest in your teenager Give time to listen to their account of daily upsets (however seemingly trivial) – name emotions both yours and theirs Take an interest in their hobbies and interests (even if you have to fake it!) Find things you can enjoy doing together Find out about school and homework Use open questions and respond positively to teenagers attempts to talk to you Support relationships with other appropriate adults

Set appropriate boundaries Clear house rules with clear consequences Hold firm even if your child breaks them - parents job to set boundaries - teenagers job to challenge them Set boundaries in collaboration with your teenager Give good reasons for your rules and insist on them being followed in your home Set parental controls – become knowledgeable don’t shy away from internet safety

Remember its normal for teenagers to want to grow away from their parents but that doesn’t mean you have to grow away from them!

Resources For further information please see;  Islington CAMHS website  Understanding Childhood If you are worried about your child’s mental health please speak to your GP or call Islington CAMHS duty and advise;