Teen Dating Violence

Quiz: Abusive or Healthy? 1. Your boyfriend cares enough about you and wants you to look nice so he picks out your outfits for you. ABUSIVE 2. Your boyfriend loves you enough to call or text you every hour and ask where you are and who you’re with. 3. Your boyfriend respects that you have other friends and commitments but sometimes wants to spend time together. HEALTHY 4. Your boyfriend gets angry when he finds out you’re with other people instead of with him. 5. Your boyfriend lets you have whatever friends and extracurricular activities you want. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dNvt_zSiIkg Quiz: Abusive or Healthy?

What is Teen Dating Violence? A pattern of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse used by one teen in a current or past relationship to exert POWER and CONTROL over another. What is Teen Dating Violence?

Approximately 1 in 5 female high school students reports having been physically abused by a dating partner. 26% of teen girls in a relationship reports enduring repeated verbal abuse. Females between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of dating violence. Statistics

November 10, 2006: Ortralla Mosley was stabbed to death with a 8-inch kitchen knife after being chased up to a second story hallway at school. By her boyfriend because he was faced with a break up.

Teen Power and Control Wheel verbal verbal

Keeping the Abuse a Secret The victims may not tell anyone because they are: Confused over why they are victims Embarrassed and ashamed Threatened by the abuser Scared the abuser will take revenge if they say anything Concerned their parents will keep them from seeing the abuser Worried they will lose privileges from their parents Keeping the Abuse a Secret

June 3, 2011: Lauren Astley, from Wayland, Massachusetts, was found dead in a marsh. Authorities say she was strangled by her ex-boyfriend whom she had broken up with a few days before the murder.

Recognizing the Warning Signs Is your boyfriend jealous or possessive? Controlling? Even quick tempered? Does he make all the decisions? Keep tabs on you constantly? Obsessive calls or texting? Insult you? Does he limit contact with your family or friends? Refuse to accept the relationship is over? Has he ever threatened or attempted suicide if you leave the relationship? Harassed or threatened you? Recognizing the Warning Signs

February 5, 2012: Javier de la Rosa, from Brownsville, Texas, was sentenced to 90 years in prison after being convicted of stabbing his ex-girlfriend 48 times after a break up.

Getting Help If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you can’t talk to a trusted adult about the situation, call the United States National hotline: 1-866-331-9474. Counseling is also available at many local shelters free of charge. Getting Help

Helping Others DO: Listen to the victim without interrupting. Find out what they would like to do about the situation and support them no matter what they decide. Help the person become informed about abuse. Decide how you should proceed, telling a responsible adult, especially if you think they may be in danger. DON’T: Judge the person. Give advice- just let them know the choices they have and find responsible adults to help. Ask unnecessary questions- they may not want to talk if they feel pressed for information. Overreact. Confront the person’s abusive partner about the abuse- this could put you and the victim at increased risk. Helping Others

State Teen Dating Violence Policy Many state codes mandate that each school district have and use a teen dating violence policy. Although these have been in place for many years, most victims have no idea there is help available for them. Some districts don’t even have a support system or action plan. State Teen Dating Violence Policy

Positives of Dating Love is Trusting Love is Secure It isn’t keeping tabs on your partner. Love is Secure It isn’t being jealous, suspicious, or paranoid. Love is Accepting It isn’t telling someone what to do, what to wear, or how to act. Love is Freedom It isn’t about possessing anyone or anything. Positives of Dating

Challenge: Take Action Wear a purple ribbon to show you support healthy relationships. Ask your school if they have and implement a Dating Violence Policy. Take the pledge. Challenge: Take Action