General Comments See handout we mailed you, but here’s a summary Every fact needs a citation Cite using correct format (Kitchell 1974) OR (Kornis and Gaeta 2009) OR (Carpenter et al. 2004) Literature cited in alphabetical order and correct format Harvey, C.J., and J.T. Hinke Habitat preferences of three species of aquarium fishes: fake plants vs. little bubbling treasure chests. Journal of Banality 14: Only use relevant and important tables and figures ONLY RELEVANT DATA, NO RAW DATA) Answer the hypothesis! Writing needs to flow – connect to your topic sentence ideas. DO NOT TAKE COMMENTS ABOUT REWORDING LIGHTLY CONCISION! Clarity! Be clear! Don’t use a lot of words when a few words tell the story you are trying to tell to your audience otherwise it sounds ridiculous and your reader goes to sleep on his comfy pillow while reading your article.

Key Issue: Concision (wordiness) Original In optimal foraging theory fish should forage in ways that maximize the ratio of benefits to cost. The benefits include such things as the amount of food achieved, the gross energy intake, and a net energy gain to use in growth. The costs include the handling time for foraging and the predation risk that goes with certain foods. Suggested revision According to foraging theory, fish select for behavior that will minimize cost to benefit foraging ratios, with costs including the energy and risk associated with food acquisition and the benefit being net energy gained.

Key Issue: Saying in 3 sentences what only requires 1 Original In order to study stream ecology and species distribution and diversity of Badger Mill Creek, groups from Zoology 511 were dispatched over two days to sample the stream. This is a small cool-water stream in Verona, Wisconsin. The groups were composed of undergraduate students, and the sampling occurred on the afternoons of February 26 and 27, Suggested revision White sucker habitat preference was investigated by two groups of Zoology 511 undergraduate students on February 26 and 27, 2008 in Badger Mill Creek, a small cool-water stream in Verona, WI. or even better, but loosing some of the original content: White sucker habitat preference was investigated in Badger Mill Creek, a small cool-water stream in Verona, WI, on February 26 and 27, 2008.

Key Issue: Passive vs. Active Original It is a high productivity stream though because of steady inflows of warm water from wastewater treatment facilities in Verona. Suggested Revision The steady inflow of warm water from wastewater treatment facilities in Verona result in a higher level of productivity in Badger Mill Creek.

Key Issue: Writing like a Scientist Original As Europeans began to colonize the New World, they considered it a good idea to bring along some of the organisms that they enjoyed in their homeland. Suggested Revision Many prevalent “native” species in North America are actually native to Eurasia and were transported overseas as Europeans colonized the New World.

Key Issue: Writing Results Original Average depth (cm) and white sucker length (mm) was then graphed using a linear regression model, presenting a positive correlation. P-value for these two variables equaled while R2 equaled (Figure 2). Suggested Revision Average depth and white sucker length were positively correlated, but not significantly (p=0.290, R2=0.1234, Figure 2).