Welcome to Kinkspeed Some minor things to note: Each presenter only has 5 minutes Please don’t ask questions of the presenter until after KinkSpeed is.

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Presentation transcript:

Welcome to Kinkspeed Some minor things to note: Each presenter only has 5 minutes Please don’t ask questions of the presenter until after KinkSpeed is over. Feel free to laugh Next up: Jordyn – Responsible Bottoming

Responsible Bottoming Or, “How to be the awesome bottom everyone wants to play with” Presented by: Jordyn Fetlife: NumberOneCrush XCBDSM.com as Kasai No Yosai

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai What the heck does “Responsible Bottoming” mean?

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Oh rly…?

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai 1.Communication 2.Drop- Not just for subs. 3.Realizing your ultimate self-responsibility. Three Tips on Being a Responsible, Ethical, Awesome Bottom:

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Super important to negotiate shared “operational definitions”: What is “sex”? What is “a scene”? What does “impact play” mean to each partner? Communication

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Unless you negotiate otherwise, it’s OKAY to (respectfully) talk during a scene. This provides the top with: Feedback on sensation Enthusiastic consent

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Bratting- “Are you even hitting me??” “Is that the best you got?” This “egging the top on” communicates that you can handle more pain/sensation. “This is so much fun/ so amazing” “I feel so good right now” Enthusiastic Consent

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Sexy Noises of appreciation (moans, groans, sighs, etc.) Moving your body, shaking your ass. The “Sub Dance”- dancing to music (you can’t really dance if you’re in a bad mental place). Non-Verbal Communication:

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai It is VERY possible to communicate during a scene respectfully, without taking away from the power dynamic. Arming your top with info and letting them decide what to do with it is different than insisting on WHAT they do with that information.

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Direct, immediate feedback is more valuable than having to stop and ask what the problem is. “My hands are going numb”, “I’m freaking out”. Direct Communication is Better Than Just “Safewords”

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Drop: It’s NOT Just For Bottoms Anymore! This is super sekret, but tops… …They can drop, too.

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Top Drop Can Look a Lot Like Sub-Drop: Depression Feeling Sick Guilt Regret Some differences can be: Obsessing over technical mistakes in an otherwise happy, well-ending scene. Guilt over treating someone that way.

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Ask your top what THEIR aftercare needs are, too! Post-Scene reassurance can help go a long way- Tell them what a good time you had, that you’re okay. If not… “Cuddles, sugar, water, and protein” is excellent general aftercare protocol- for bottoms AND Tops. “A Thousand Bonus Points For Asking”

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai If it wasn’t so great, talk about that, too. (Wait til an appropriate time when they’re less emotional). Responsible bottoms caringly tell their Tops about the good and bad, without criticizing the Top as a person. This helps your Top learn and grow in their Toppy-ness.

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Finally, the BEST way to be a responsible bottom…

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Is to realize and remember that ultimately, it is literally YOUR ass on the line.

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai You and you alone are responsible for your well-being. Even when you’re “giving up” your responsibility to someone else for a little while. (Or a long while).

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai It is up to you to communicate well about YOU- Pre-, during, and post- scene.

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Thorough negotiation Full disclosure (intoxication, health problems/medications, emotional state) Disclosing “newbie” status

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai Go forth and be awesome! Be kind, be respectful, be considerate!

FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai I guess I wasn’t responsible. I didn’t say no pool noodles. Next up: Takenbysilence - Blowjobs