Healthy relationships and keeping safe

being healthy

Relationships 4 basic types of relationship Family- parents, siblings, grandparents, carers, uncles and aunts. Friendship – Chosen relationships often built on shared interests. Casual / common relationships – Teachers, doctors or a someone you only know in passing. Romantic relationships – Chosen partner.

Healthy Relationships What all healthy relationships have in common is that they are based on: Respect. Trust. Communication. That’s true whether it’s your relationship with your best friend, your teacher or your partner..

Unhealthy relationships

Pressure Asked or forced to do something you are not comfortable with. Pressure can come from family, friends, partners and cyber friends. Pressure can be influenced by factors such as cultural, financial and as a result of jealously.

Abusive relationships Abuse in a relationship comes in different forms. It's mainly when someone tries to control, intimidate or hurt another. This can happen in lots of different ways and can be caused by males and females. The abuse can be: Emotional –controlling your behaviour; saying nasty things to you; humiliating you, putting you down; isolating you from your friends. Physical – including punching, kicking, hitting, slapping or pushing you around. Sexual – forcing you or putting you under pressure to do sexual acts that you don’t want to do. Whatever form the abuse takes it is NEVER OK and it is not your fault.

Is this relationship abuse?

A young person calls another young person names? Maybe, if it happens regularly between young people then this is abuse.

A boy sends his girlfriend a text to say he loves her? NO, this is not abuse.

A boy sends his girlfriend hundreds of texts to find out where she is and who she’s with? YES, this is abuse. This kind of behaviour is aimed at controlling the other person.

A girl always threatens her girlfriend but never actually hits her? YES, this is abuse. The constant threat of violence is used to scare and control the other person and is not ok. Relationship abuse can happen in same-sex relationships too.

A boy calls his ex-boyfriend all the time and asks him to get back with him? Maybe, if the boyfriend does not want him to be calling him and he does not respect his wishes then this may be harassment which can be part of abuse. Relationship abuse can often continue after a relationship has ended.

A boy gets jealous when his girlfriend speaks to other boys? Maybe, everyone feels jealous sometimes and that is ok if they take responsibility for those feelings and don’t try to put them onto someone else. If however, they try to stop the other person doing things or make them feel bad because of the jealous feelings then this can be abusive.

A girl constantly telling her disabled boyfriend that he is stupid and useless? YES, this is emotional abuse which is often part of relationship abuse.

A brother and sister argue about what to watch on TV? NO, this is not abuse. All families argue sometimes, but so long as they are equal and no one gets hurt then that is ok.

A young person often pushes, kicks or hits another young person? YES, this is abuse. The use of physical violence within a relationship is never acceptable.

warning signs Feeling unsure/pressured/frightened. Walking on egg shells – feeling controlled. Hard to make things ok/good. Feeling worse about yourself when your with them. Becoming isolated from friends and family. Feeling pressured and unable to say no.

Risks Online / phone chat – sexting. Illegal sharing of indecent images. Virtual relationships. CSE and intentions of others. Abuse.

Staying Safe Abuse in relationships is not acceptable and never your fault. It is not just physical, if you are threatened; being constantly criticised, have no say over who you talk to or see – this can still be abuse. You should never have to do something you don’t feel comfortable with – consent. Help is always available.

Staying safe Talk to someone you trust – family, friends, teachers. Report it if its unhealthy/abusive. (you will never be in trouble) Trust yourself to know when something is wrong. Know where to get help. (keep the contacts of those who can help you)

Support in school: Teachers Pastoral Leaders Welfare Managers School Health Nurse