Love + Bruises = Abuse Teen Dating Violence

Lets Talk About…. Defining Abuse What they mean & who the victims are? Who abuses more? Red Flags Why do victims stay? Healthy VS Abusive Relationships Why you should make consent a part of your relationship What you should do if you or someone you know is being abused How to Prevent & End violence in your relationship Our commitment to ending violence

Who abuses more? Teen Dating Violence runs across race, gender, and socioeconomic lines. Both males and females are victims, but boys and girls are abusive in different ways: Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick Boys injure girls more severely and frequently; Some teen victims experience violence occasionally Others are abused more often… sometimes daily

Red Flags

Dating Violence Indicators

Healthy Relationships

Why Do Victims Stay?

Why do victims stay? Fear the abuser will further harm them or someone they love Lack of experience in relationships Emotional Attachment Financially dependent Social pressure (i.e.. The popular guy) Low self esteem and or confidence Isolation form friends or families Fear of telling anyone what is really going on

What should you do if you know someone is being abused? What should you do if you witness the violence occurring?

What should you do if you know someone is being abused? First Make sure they are immediately safe (is the abuser in the home, can they get access to them easily, etc…) Identify people they feel safe with, that they respect and trust so they can talk about the abuse without feeling judged or in trouble. Remind them the abuse is not their fault Never talk bad about the abuser, but remind them the abuser had no right to hurt them Remind them that they deserve to be loved not abused, cherished, not mistreated Report the abuse to proper authorities Know at least one hotline # that can give you information about what to do next (ex LINK Utah Domestic Violence Line 24 hrs)

Bystander Intervention

Bystander Intervention Model Notices Incident Interprets the incident as an emergency Assumes responsibility –(while maintaining safety) Attempts to help

How to Prevent & End violence in your relationship Know how you wanted to be treated and expect to treat your partner the same way Know how to use your voice (ex. Say no like you mean it, yes if you mean it and know you have the right to change your mind at any point) Know how to establish healthy boundaries, know how much you are willing to give of your time and your self Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk (I statements) If you have hurt your partner, just because you say your sorry, won’t fix it. What will fix it is if you don’t do it again If you know you have unhealthy ways of dealing with things seek direction and guidance from someone that can help Learn to argue and disagree without fighting and without insults. Words are a powerful thing

We have to stop believing that abuse is a personal problem. One that is kept behind closed doors, not affecting our world, our existence. Abuse is a social dilemma that extends it’s grasp to at times hurt those we love most. We must all have a part in attempting to end domestic violence. We must not tolerate living in a world that turns their backs on victims that could be our mothers, our sisters, our cousins our aunts, our brothers, our fathers, our family our friends, our most loved and cherished. Commit yourself to protecting those that have forgotten their worth, the power of their voice and their faith in a better tomorrow.

Who can help? FAMILY OR DATING VIOLENCE Child Abuse Hotline Domestic Violence Information Line …………………………………………………………… LINK Rape Recovery Center ……………………… Crisis / Gen. Info. Teen Emotions Anonymous Utah Youth Village Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office Victim Advocates ……………………………………………………………………… /61

Contact Information Nubia Peña Training Specialist Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault (801)