Leaders in the Making Teamwork – Lesson 9 Communicative

Think about it... Who wants to be average? Average is that place in the middle. It’s the best of the worst, or the worst of the best. Bob Moawad

Review 1.The communicative person demonstrates four characteristics. What are they? 2.One good characteristic of good communication is that of reflective listening. What is it? How does it work? 3.What are two pitfalls to watch out for when repeating back in your own words what someone else has said?

How did it go? The last time we met, you were to practice parroting or reflective listening with others and repeating back in your own words what they said. How did it go? Share your successes and failures. Most people don’t aim too high and miss, they aim too low and hit. Bob Moawad

On the Communication Highway Good communication is a two-way street. Both listening and speaking need to be going in two directions; good communication isn’t one person doing all the listening and the other person doing all the speaking. Communication is both people listening to understand and speaking to be understood. So, towards better two-way communication... Before you enter into a conversation with someone, try prefacing your communication by stating the intent of the conversation. For example, “Mrs. Smith, do you have five minutes to discuss my progress report?” or “Mr. Jones, I need to ask your help with my project. Do you have a minute? Oftentimes, in school, and in your home for that matter, adults do want to communicate with you, but the timing may not be the best. When you preface your conversation with your intent, others are better able to respond to your request. The better they can respond, the better they’ll listen.

On the Communication Highway By stating the intent of our conversation, we consider the needs of others before our own. We allow them to prepare for what we might want to talk about. For example, “Mrs. Anderson, could I talk to you about my dad; he came home drunk again last night.” Think Mrs. Anderson wants to listen? Yes, but whether or not she can do it RIGHT NOW is the real question. By stating your intent, she is better able to let you know if now is a good time. On the other hand, stating your intent also gives the listener permission to agree to listen or to opt out of the conversation. For example, “Mrs. Anderson, I’m not getting along with the art teacher, Mr. Wilson., Could I talk to you about it?” Mrs. Anderson may not want to get involved and may send you to someone else she thinks could better help you.

Tell With No Show Briefing: Since communication skills can be developed, let’s practice. In this activity one person will be the speaker and the rest of the group will be the listeners. You will be given a piece of paper, one person will come to the front of the room and give directions on how to fold the paper. You will fold the paper based on the verbal directions that are given. This is a listening and speaking exercise. If you are the speaker, it is important that you give good verbal directions. You have been given an origami paper shape. It is your job to get your listeners to recreate the shape you’re holding by following your verbal directions. You may not “show” how to fold; you must only “tell” how to fold. Listeners may ask questions for clarification.

Processing: 1.If you had a chance to give directions, how did it go? How did you know if your listeners understood your directions? 2.Was there any sort of frustration going on during this activity? 3.As the listener, what sort of difficulties did you face? 4.How do you think you did at understanding each other? 5.Did you notice anyone using any repeating back listening, otherwise known as reflective listening? 6.If you were the speaker, did you feel like you were being misunderstood? 7.Do you ever feel like your feelings, thoughts, etc. have been misunderstood? What could you do to ensure that your communication is not misunderstood? 8. What communication skills could you take home with you?

Review Communication is a two-way street that demands the attention of both the speaker and the listener. Communication is not an easy task. Better communication can be accomplished through repeating back or reflective listening and stating the reason for your conversation. A good communicator seeks first to understand, is available, doesn’t run from disagreements, and practices good communication skills.

Journal #12 Date your journal entry. Describe yourself as a communicator. Ask three people to write in your journal describing you as a communicator. Ask them to please list one area of weakness in your communication skills so that you can work on it. Then, work on it! Do the thing and you will have the power. Emerson