Or not?

Marriage Unit Describe a life event that happened during your “marriage” or “roommate” scenario. How did it impact your budget? Target- Cohabitation and divorce statistics.

What happens after the wedding? Oprah clip on “after the wedding blues”.

Discussion What do you think about these brides?

Cohabitation Cohabitation is defined as living together without being married. Serial cohabitation is becoming more common. It used to be illegal…. 50% break up in the first year 90% break up within 5 years.

Divorce Statistics. The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41% The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60% The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America AgeWomenMen Under 20 years old27.6%11.7% 20 to 24 years old36.6%38.8% 25 to 29 years old16.4%22.3% 30 to 34 years old8.5%11.6% 35 to 39 years old5.1%6.5%

Kids reduce divorces. According to discovery channel, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples. Sociologists also believe that childlessness is also a common cause of divorce. The absence of children leads to loneliness and weariness and even in the United States, at least 66 per cent of all divorced couples are childless.

Financial effects of divorce on women & children.. 5 out of 6 children of divorced parents live with their mothers. Divorced individuals would need a 30% increase in income in order to stay at the same standard of living. 1 in 5 women fall into poverty after a divorce. 3 out of 4 mothers do not receive full payments of child support. About 1 in 3 women who own a home and have children living at home lose their homes.

Men & Divorce Some people seem to believe that men are financially better off after a divorce than they were during their marriage. Research shows that this is a myth. Men also have a reduced standard of living by 10-40% depending on the circumstance. Why- Two factors contribute to this financial loss. First, if his ex-wife contributed a substantial income to the family, he will struggle to make up for this lost second income. Second, he is likely to be required to make child-support and other payments. He also must pay for a separate home or apartment. In addition, if a father has custody or shares custody of his children, there will be additional expenses.

Divorce effects on Kids  Most divorcing parents are very concerned about their children’s reactions to their separation and divorce. They want to know, “Will my child grow up to be healthy and happy?” Sociologists and psychologists are just beginning to provide reliable information about the effects of divorce on children. Age, gender, personality and the amount of conflict in the home contribute to the outcome.

Infants Infants may not understand conflict, but may react to changes in parent’s energy level and mood. Infants may loose their appetite or have an upset stomach and spit up more.

Pre- School Aged Children Children from three to five years of age frequently believe they have caused their parents’ divorce. They might think that if they had eaten their dinner or done their chores when told to do so, Daddy wouldn’t have gone away. Preschoolers may fear being left alone or abandoned altogether. They may show baby-like behavior, such as wanting their security blanket or old toys, or they begin wetting the bed. They may become uncooperative, sad, or angry. Although they want the security of being near an adult, they may act disobedient and aggressive.

Some psychologists believe the adjustment to parental divorce is more difficult for elementary school children than for younger or older children. School-age children are old enough to understand that they are in pain because of their parents’ separation. They are too young, however, to understand or to control their reactions to this pain. They may experience grief, embarrassment, resentment, divided loyalty and intense anger. Their ability to become actively involved in play and activities with other children may help them cope with their family life situation. Children this age may hope parents will get back together. Elementary aged children may feel rejected by the parent who left. They may complain of headaches or stomachaches.

Adolescents Teens also experience anger, fear, loneliness, depression and guilt. Some feel pushed into adulthood if they must take responsibility for many new chores or care of siblings. Teens may respond to parents’ low energy level and high stress level by trying to take control over the family. Others feel a loss of parental support in handling emerging sexual feelings. Teens also may doubt their own ability to get married or to stay married. Teens may understand the causes leading to their parents’ separation. Their ability to remember the conflict and stress of the divorce may interfere with their ability to cope with the changes in their family. They may also feel pressure to “choose” one of their parents over the other, or to fault one parent over the other for the “cause” of the divorce.

Gender Researchers are now finding that boys raised by fathers and girls raised by mothers may do better than children raised by the parent of the opposite sex. Boys School age boys living with their fathers or in joint living arrangements seem to be less aggressive. They also have fewer emotional problems than those boys who live with their mothers and have little or no contact with their fathers. Girls Girls raised with mothers tend to be more responsible and mature than girls raised by their fathers. However, the children’s adjustment following a divorce has more to do with the quality of the parent-child relationship than with the gender and age of the child.

What do you think? Based on the information presented in the dating, marriage unit, write a one page reflection on how this information has influenced your thoughts and ideas about marriage. Did it change your mind? Did it solidify your beliefs? Do you want kids? Do you think you should have jobs prior to marriage (unemployment for some of you was rough!) Do you have more respect for your parents now?