Part One Understanding Emotional Intelligence in Asia LDRS 670: LEADERSHIP AND PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT Module 3: Chapters 5 & 6

Vocabulary-Chapter 5  Paradox  The Way of Tao (Dao De Jing  Pervasive influence  Lao Zi (Lao Tsu)  Accumulated frustration  Compassionate enforcing  Forthright diplomacy  Blunt  Frank  Selfish  Resentful  Straightforward  To the point  Diplomatic

Vocabulary-Chapter 6  Masculine (energy)  Feminine (energy)  Emotional patterns  Primary (major)  Auxiliary (minor)  ANIMUS-dominant masculine energy  ANIMA-dominant feminine energy)  Optimal combination  Stereotypes  Simplification  Metaphor  Versatility  One-sided focus

Chapter 5: The Power of Paradox Paradox: A statement that apparently contradicts itself and yet might be true.

Chapter 5: The Power of Paradox Discuss the meaning: “Asian thinking doesn’t ignore paradoxes: it turns them into harmony, as both parts of the paradox can be reconciled. This ability to reconcile paradoxes proves very useful when it comes to emotional intelligence, as it means that we don’t have to compromise.” (p. 35)

Chapter 5: The Power of Paradox “Asian thinking has developed an art of dealing with paradoxes that Western thinking has just started to integrate and appreciate.” (p. 35)

The Art of Paradoxes in Asian Thinking “The Way of Tao represents all Asian thinking.” (p. 36) Written more than 2,000 years ago. Discuss the book and its history.

The Power of Paradox Review Figure 5.1. What does it mean? Why is it well known around the world?

The Power of Paradox “The white part and the black part are of opposite color: they represent opposite dimensions.” (p. 37)

From the Way of Tao Explain the meaning of each:  “When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists…” (p. 37)  “A room is made of walls, ceiling, and floor; and yet the most important part is the emptiness in the middle.” (p. 37)  “All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.” (p. 37)  “There is some quietness in strength, and there is some strength in quietness.” (p. 38)

The Power of Paradoxes

 In your groups, discuss the meaning of the following Western paradoxes.  Write your answers on a sheet of paper.  Make sure to include the name of your team and the names of each member.

One: Western Paradoxes  You can save money by spending it.  I'm nobody.  Youth is wasted on the young.  Wise fool.  Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.

Two: Western Paradoxes  I'm a compulsive liar- am I lying when I say that?  A rich man is no richer than a poor man.  Nobody goes to that restaurant because it is too crowded.  You shouldn't go in the water until you know how to swim.

Three: Western Paradoxes  If you didn't get this message, call me.  The person who wrote something so stupid can't write at all.  Men work together whether they work together or apart.  Be cruel to be kind.

Four: Western Paradoxes  I can resist anything but temptation.  The beginning of the end.  Drowning in the fountain of eternal life.  Deep down, you're really shallow.

Five: Western Paradoxes  The greatest hero does not fight.  Speechless teaching.  The brightest way seems dark.  Bittersweet.

Six: Western Paradoxes  Friendly fire  Love to hate  Fighting for Peace  Civilized warfare  Surprise Exam

First Paradox: Compassionate Enforcer (pp )  Compassionate- showing empathy.  Enforcing- insisting on rules being followed.  What are the results of being too compassionate or too enforcing?  Compassionate enforcing-what does this mean?  Achieving balance prevents a leader from flipping back and forth to opposite behaviors. Complete Figure 5.2. Directions on p. 39

Second Paradox: Assertive Helpfulness (pp )  Assertive- putting forward your wants and needs.  Helpful can be a priority- what are the negative results of too much supporting?  Know how and when to say NO, ask for help so you won’t be seen as selfish and dominant. Complete Figure 5.11

Third Paradox: Frank and Diplomatic Communication (pp.46-50)  Diplomatic- being tactful, not hurting others feelings.  Frank- to the point, straightforward, not blunt  What are the results of being too diplomatic or frank?  Balancing both gives forthright diplomacy-what does this mean?. Complete Figure 5.11

Paradox-Common Theme Mastering these three paradoxes can reduce the risk of emotional outbursts.

In Class Assignment  As individuals, review the three situations listed in each of the three paradoxes. See pages 39, 43, & 47.  Draw a graph and write your answer on it.

End Chapter 5 Here

Tao and EI  The insights into The Way of Tao helps with your personal development and enhancement of emotional intelligence.  You do not have to choose between two traits that seem incompatible. You can work them together.  “Two traits that seem to be conflicting can be harmonized” (p. 50).

Start Chapter 6 Here

Chapter 6: Using both Masculine and Feminine Energies  Have students go over the EQ attributes and write down the ones they think are their strengths-at least 7-8 of them.  Divide class into males and females. In teams of 3 they are to write their examples of feminine energies and male energies. Share answers and discuss. Review definitions on p. 54 and 58.

ANIMUS/ANIMA

Masculine and Feminine Energy Defined  Ask them now to compare their EQ attributes to what they wrote about masculine and feminine energies? What does this tell you about yourselves and your EQ? Share and discuss.  Discuss what they think about men and women having both energies? What does this mean? Read out loud quote on page 53 to class. Discuss why we want to have both?

Masculine and Feminine Energy Defined  Why are both energies important to leadership?  Why is knowing you’re your masculine and feminine energy important to your personal and leadership development?  Define with class ANIMUS and ANIMA.  In your three-person teams read pp and complete Where are you? (p ). Teams share findings and impressions with class.

Developing Versatility  What does versatility mean?  How are people versatile? Give examples  Why is it important to be versatile and not one-sided in a globalized world? (see case studies on pp )  If you are not versatile how can you become more versatile-leadership development

Reference  Henry, S. (2011). EQ and leadership in Asia. Using Emotional Intelligence to lead and inspire your people. Singapore: Jossey-Bass