LISTENING TO LEARN Bennie Good

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Notes Ask speakers what they experienced What were there reactions Ask listeners how their speakers responded How did they feel playing the role 3

Listening is…. An essential part of communication Not taught in school A skill that can be learned 4

Why Listening is A Key Skill of Leadership Connecting Decision Making Problem Solving 5

Listening Thought “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” Steven Covey 6

Two Types of Listening Active Listening Empathetic Listening 7

Active Listening Ask questions Reflect back Paraphrase Don’t be judgemental Observe Focus Acknowledge Respect 8

Empathetic Listening Listener puts themselves in speaker’s place Imagine things from speaker’s point of view Try to understand how the speaker feels “So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.” Jiddu Krishnamurti ~ (1895 – 1986) spiritual philosopher 9

Role Play 2 Pick a partner One person is the speaker, the other the listener Speaker is to talk about something they enjoy, such as hobby, sport or family activity Listener to follow instructions on card 10

Monitor your Listening Level How do you adjust the volume? Situation? Environment? Mental state? 11

Role Play 3 Need a volunteer to play the part of a scout who is angry about the way others in the unit are treating him Den Chief plays the role of the leader 12

Notes – Role Play 3 Active I get it What I hear is…. Keep talking scout…but no feedback Now I hear what you don’t want…what do you want? 13

Listening in Adversarial Situations Listeners should always strive to create a positive present As opposed to A negative past. 14

Feedback Generally feedback is thought of as a painful experience or process 15

Feedback Notes Have you ever received advice from someone? How did it feel to receive feedback? Have you ever had a chance to tell someone how they can do something better? How did it feel to be offering feedback 16

Tips on Giving Feedback Consider your motives Is the person receptive? Deal with behaviors that can be changed Be specific Let the person know the impact of the behavior on you Use “I” to accept responsibility for your own emotions To make sure the recipient heard you correctly, ask them to repeat or rephrase the feeback 17

You can give caring feedback without a good technique, but the slickest technique in the world will not hide a lack of caring. 18

Tips on Receiving Feedback Seek out feedback Listen carefully Listen actively Listen empathetically Be aware of how you are feeling 19

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Listening…. is a skill we can learn & improve on is vital to relationships, teams and finding solutions is both active and empathetic can turn a negative into a positive is an important part of giving and receiving feedback 22