Afghan Marriage

Learning Objectives What are the traditions of an Muslim Wedding? How does a groom propose? What family obligations must be met for a couple to wed? Of what does a marriage ceremony and celebration consist?

Afghan Wedding Traditions Namzady is the first step toward the marriage. The Groom’s father along with his family and friends deliver a bag full of sweets and gifts to the future bride and engages in a feast with her family. A respected member of the groom’s family then reveals the original purpose for the gathering.

Family obligations. The bride must be escorted by a Wali who is usually her uncle or father. The Wali must be Muslim or else the marriage is considered invalid under the law of the Qua’ran. Walis are in place to protect the women’s rights from being violated by the Groom. (NMuzaffary D)

Family Obligations (Cont.) Male members of the bride’s family are expected to cover part or all of the expenses stemming from the cemermony The bride’s family allows the groom to stay with them for a set period of time. Relatives and friends of the bride come and wait at her father’s house to escort her to the wedding. Hodge, November 13, 2012

Marriage Ceremony Men from both sides of the family present the “khutba nikah” which is Dari for “Marriage speech” The next step is the “Aina moshaf “ which is Dari for “mirror” and “Qu’aran” Both the bride and groom are then covered by a veil and after removing the veil, they look into the mirror together, signifying purity. They then recite verses from the Qua’ran that pertain to marriage. The couple is now married and proceed to share a plethora of homemade deserts and drinks, most notably including Malida which is a desert native to Afgan.

Afghan Marriage Ceremony Traditionally Afghan marriage customs last for three days. The ceremonies are conducted between 6 p.m and 2 a.m. Some conservative families will have the bride and groom entertain guests separately for most of the reception. (Muslim marriage.com)

Marriage Celebration The bride and groom are the first to cut and taste the cake, similar to American culture. The newly wed couple then takes part in a traditional Afghan dance Toward the end of the wedding, an animal is sacrificed upon the bride’s arrival at the couple’s home, this indicates the new beginning into a marriage. The bride then hammers a nail into her doorway, signifying strength and power in relations to the marriage.

Additional Facts

Additional facts Polygamy is accepted under Shira’s law in Afghan, however a man must buy any other wives after his 1st marriage Many men cannot afford the additional weddings and gifts for the extra wives, thus making polygamy a signal toward wealth It is Afghan law that married women are to be treated with respect, however, these laws are difficult to uphold and are often disregarded.

Additional facts cont. 57% of marriages are with women under the age of 16 The average life expectancy for Afghan women is 44, the low rates are often attributed to abusive marriages and stress. In Afghan villages, it is considered a dishonor to date. Due to this belief, most marriages are arranged or forced.

Islam and marriage facts According to Quaran passages, the main purpose of marriage is to populate the Earth and to satisfy sexual desires. Marriage is a requirement to uphold the wishes of Allah and is highly encouraged within the Islamic community. It is stressed that the couple marries because of a deeper spiritual attraction and not a physical attraction or a monetary attraction.

References. Hodge, Christine. “Rights and Duties of Husband and Wife”. http://www.netplaces.com/understanding-islam/islamic-married-life/rights-and-duties-of- husband-and-wife.htm. Monday November 12, 2012.  Muzaffary, Fazi ur Rahim. “Afghan Muslim Wedding”. http://www.onislam.net/english/culture-and-entertainment/traditions/411646-afghan-muslim- wedding.html. nd. “The Engagement, Henna and Nikah in Afghan Marriage Customs”. http://www.muslim-marriage-guide.com/afghan-marriage-customs.html. nd. “ON MARRIAGE AND THE ISLAMIC WEDDING CEREMONY“. http://www.jerrahi.org/library/articles/marriage_islamic_wedding_ceremony Najibullah, Farangis. “Afghanistan: Marriage Practice Victimizes Young Girls, Society. Radio Free Europe; Radio Liberty. http://www.rferl.org/content/article/1079316.html