Revising Thesis Statements Lack of funding for schools is a social problem. How can you make this more specific? What kinds of schools? Lack of what kind of funding? Why is this a social problem? Who or what does it affect? Why should we care? Sample Revisions: Cuts in funding for Early Childhood Education programs such as Head Start create significant hardships for parents who rely on these services to teach them how to foster their children’s physical, intellectual, and emotional well-being; these cuts also create additional social and economic barriers for the children who do not benefit from Early Childhood Education and who, as a result, are more likely to lag behind their peers.

Revising your Thesis Rewrite your thesis statement to Refine your description of the Problem, making it more specific and focused. Show multiple reasons why this should be considered a social problem. (If possible, approach the problem from multiple points of view.) A Few Options: X is a serious social problem because it not only _____________, but it also ________________. Although X can affect ______________, at can also have an impact on ___________________.

Transitions/Topic Sentences The first sentence of each paragraph often has to work as both a transition (from the thesis or the paragraph above) and a topic sentence (a “mini-thesis” that sets up the argument of that paragraph). Use the momentum from your thesis to drive your topic sentence. Compose a topic sentence that a) connects to the thesis and b) presents the “mini-argument” of the next paragraph.