Psychology 137C: Intimate Relationships Week 4, Lecture 1: Individual Differences Reminders : The midterm is next Friday. 50 multiple choice questions, covering everything so far. Review session in this room after class next Wednesday. Sample questions will be distributed early next week.

Why Study Individuals? No one enters relationships as a blank slate. No one enters relationships as a blank slate. People differ from each other. People differ from each other. These differences affect relationships and how they develop. These differences affect relationships and how they develop.

How Do Individuals Vary? Traits Experiences

Personality Traits: Basic Premise “… a large proportion of incompatible marriages are so because of a predisposition to unhappiness in one or both of the spouses. Whether by nature or by nurture, there are persons so lacking in the qualities which make for compatibility that they would be incapable of finding happiness in any marriage” (Terman et al., 1938, pp ). Lewis Terman

Traits in the ‘Big Five’ Model Costa and McCrae, 1985

Classic Study: Kelly and Conley (1987) 300 couples recruited between 1935 and Data collected in and again in At the first assessment, five acquaintances rated each person’s personality. Spouses provided reports of divorce or how happy they were in the marriage at 3 times, yielding 3 groups: Below mean on all measures at all times (17) No consistent pattern of distress (110) Divorced (50)

Results for Women Kelly & Conley, 1987, Table 8

Results for Men Kelly & Conley, 1987, Table 8

Why Is Neuroticism A Problem? One common correlate of Neuroticism is Self- Esteem. The Dependency Regulation Model Why do people with low self-esteem have worse intimate relationships on average? Sandra MurrayJohn Holmes

Poor Self Regard Assume others Agree Devalue Partner Express Discontent Relationship Falters

Why is Personality Stable? Cumulative continuity Interactional continuity

Personal History What happens to you before the relationship affects what happens in the relationship. What sorts of experiences do you think matter most? Early childhood experiences and intergenerational transmission effects

Key Questions What is the association between your parents’ relationship (G1) and your own relationship outcomes (G2)? If there is intergenerational continuity in relationship functioning, how does it come about?

Is there an association between G1 and G2 Relationships? Yes. G1 divorce increases risk of G2 divorce, by about 70% in first 5 years of marriage (Bumpass et al., 1991). G1 discord predicts G2 discord, even over 17 years (Amato & Booth, 2001). Divorce is more detrimental on G2 when it happens earlier and when it is abrupt and unexpected.

More caution toward marriage, more acceptance of divorce Equally motivated to form partnerships, but pessimistic about marriage as the way to do this. More likely to contemplate divorce, compared to offspring from intact marriages who are equally unhappy Fewer economic and interpersonal resources More likely to drop out, less likely to go to college Weaker family relationships, even later in life More maladaptive cognitions and behaviors Why do our parents’ relationships matter?

Closing Thoughts So why do individual differences matter to relationships? From individual differences to behavior