Conflict Webinar: Using type to navigate conflict Can’t we all just get Along? Aidan Millar, BA MSc Talent Development and Performance Consultant Psychometrics Canada amillar@psychometrics.com 1-800-661-5158 ext 224

Aidan Millar, BA MSc Performance and Talent Development Consultant MBTI Certified Practitioner and Certification Facilitator Type Preferences: ESFJ Dan Costigan Marketing Communications Manager Type Preferences: ISTJ

Agenda Defining Conflict Using Type to explore differences: how we perceive conflict, how we handle conflict, what we need A Team Model for Better Resolution

When I say the word ‘conflict’…

Perhaps…. Frustration Challenge Argument Difficult Disagreement Stress Toxic Anger

But also… Opportunity Potential Collaboration Change Solutions Cooperation

What is Conflict… Definition: Any situation in which the desires, needs or wishes of one party differ from another. Neutral, inevitable, can impede or promote growth It is the outcomes of conflict that make it positive or negative How we perceive, interpret and react to conflict can be influenced by our personality (preferences)

Our preferences impact… Our interpretation of possible conflict How we naturally react to conflict What we need from others to reach a resolution

T vs F Perceptions Thinking and Feeling types interpret ‘conflict’ differently What appears as ‘conflict’ to some, is not to others A True Story….

Imagine…. A situation in which you were directly involved in a conflict How would you describe your comfort level in the midst of that conflict?

T vs F Perceptions T preferences: More apt to report ‘comfort’ with disagreement May see conflict as a means of voicing point of view and arriving at most logical outcome Sometimes use conflict as a means of refining ideas, enhancing competence F preferences: As conflict stands to threaten harmony, Fs report more discomfort During conflict, are more apt to encourage, validate and seek agreement Are most aversely affected by non-expedient agreement

Type Take-Aways Challenge your assumptions – not everyone interprets conflict the same way you do Challenge your projections – “insensitive” and “emotional” may reflect your own type lens, or the needs of others being ignored We all have ‘conflict blindspots’ due to natural inclinations To come through conflict productively, we need to be more mindful towards the needs of others, and of the situation…

Diving Deeper!

Function Pairs – What we Do/What we Need Form groups: ST, SF, NT, NF What are the best things people can do when in a conflict situation with you?

Best things… STs: Be rational and objective; don’t allow it to become personal. NTs: Deal logically and provide reasons/rationale for your position. Don’t get personal. SFs: Talk to me directly, rationally, and calmly. Listen with respect and understanding. NFs: Be calm and listen. Express your feelings and acknowledge mine.

Residual Effects of Conflict Most types report having respect for the other person for expressing their opinions or for their thought process. If the conflict situation was negative, most types report a loss of respect for the other person. Highlights the need to incorporate multiple perspectives into your own style Research study by Patrick Kerwin (Kerwin & Associates - 2004)

Optimizing Conflict Management We tend to default to our natural type preferences – especially in conflict The outcomes will be better if we can flex to meet the needs of those involved – even if we do not know their type!

Conflict Management Model Addressing all preferences ensures 2 things: 1) We don’t remain ‘rigid’ in our preferences – development! 2) All people – and types – are considered and included in the discussion; makes for more positive solutions and ‘residuals’

The WAY Conflict is Conducted: E & I E:Allow time for discussion Be prepared to discuss your thoughts, ideas, and perspectives Tip for I’s: Prepare ahead, give cues of engagement I: Allow time for reflection Be prepared for internal reflection and silence Tip for E’s: Allow each person to complete his or her thoughts, and actively listen before responding

WHAT is Considered: S & N S: Assess the current situation What are the constraints within which we are working? What are the facts? What have we done before that has worked? What do we want to keep? Tip for N’s: Validate your understanding of information and intention N: Consider the possibilities What are possible ways around the constraints? What are the possibilities? What haven’t we done before that we may want to try? What changes do we want to make? Tip for S’s: Explore implications and meanings

HOW a Conflict is Resolved: T & F T: Analyze the situation logically What are the pros and cons? What are the consequences? What impact will this have on other organizational priorities? Has everything been thoroughly analyzed? Tip for F’s: Try to separate the issue from the person F: Consider the impact on people How does each alternative fit with the organizational values? What are the benefits? What impact will this have on the people affected? Has everyone been heard? Tip for T’s: Try to check in with the people involved in the conflict

WHAT’S NEXT in the Process: J & P J: Make a plan What are the next steps? What are the timelines and milestones? Tip for P’s: Commit if necessary P: Stay open to changes What additional information or possibilities can we consider? What’s our process for making changes as new information arises? Tip for J’s: Check back in

To Conclude…. We all have ‘natural’ ways of dealing with conflict (preferences and facets) We need to be mindful of when it is appropriate to use our preferences and when to embrace the opposite Incorporate the perspective of others – and all the preferences - to make for more effective and inclusive conflict resolution Success, wisdom and maturity are when we choose behaviours based on the needs of the situation; learning to flex for others and for ourselves

Want More? Visit our website for Certification and Master Class Dates: www.psychometrics.com/training

Thank-you! Aidan Millar, BA MSc Email: amillar@psychometrics.com Blog: www.psychometrics.com/mbtiblog