Baumeister & Tice Chapter 7 Novelty, Passion, and Intimacy

Novelty as Limited Resource Novelty associated with excitement, arousal –NEW things/partners interesting, fun –1 sts very exciting, 2 nds less exciting, 3 rds less… Habituation Limited number of novel sexual acts –Long-term relationships may lose novelty Sexual passion may fade over time Passion enhanced by new partners (affairs), behaviors

Evidence: Sex & Long-Term Relationships Negative relationship between years together & sexual f –Blumstein & Schwartz (1983) ~50% newlyweds had sex 3/week, ~20% married 10 years had sex that often –Divorce & remarry -> rise in sexual f Not just effect of aging –Similar decline for cohabitating couples

Evidence Pornography (Mann et al., 1974) –No porn 20% had sex, w/ porn 66% had sex –Response decreased each time they watched Habituation Period of avoidance can cause novelty rebound So how are novelty & passion connected?

Passion & Intimacy Intimacy - cognitive –Knowledge, favorable attitude, affection Passion - emotion & feelings of attraction How are they related? –Tend to be +rd in surveys –Passion low in long-term relationships (LTR) Intimacy high –Remarriage increases passion (intimacy low)

Passion & Intimacy Change in intimacy -> change in passion –As I rises P rises P = C (dI/dt) –P = passion, I = intimacy, t = time, C = constant Implies: As I stabilizes P decreases

P = C (dI/dt)

Intimacy is a limited resource in LTR –I can only increase so much –After 20 years you know ALL there is to know So P inevitably goes down because I is stable

Evidence: P = C (dI/dt) Fits patterns ( low passion in LTR ) Why +r on surveys? –Positive evaluation (Halo effect) –Sampling bias Gain/loss –Dislike-like > like-like Extraverts become intimate fast –Have sex sooner, more often, & break up more

Gender Differences: C Males have larger C than females –P = C (dI/dt) –Function (of I-> P) steeper for males than females Faster rate of passion rise/unit of intimacy

Gender Differences: C Males have larger C than females –More rapid passion w/ less intimacy Communication problems –Friendliness misunderstood by men as come on C (small intimacy input, large passion output) Romantic nature of men –Men score higher on self-report –Fall in love & ready for sex faster –Unrequited love (rejected man most common)

Class Data (N =103, Females = 71) How fast do YOU fall in love? –1 = very slowly 2 = average 3 = very fast MeanSDGender p –All –Male –Female Males more slowly than females!

Reaction Paper VII: Novelty in Long Term Relationships Given the loss of novelty & the maximization of intimacy in LTR, are we all doomed to experience passionless love in our LTR? If so what do you think about this? What other benefits might a LTR accrue for us? Are they worth it or should we have a lifelong string of brief, passion-filled affairs? –Please turn in at end of class

Conclusion Passion fades as intimacy becomes stable –LTR inevitably show passion deficit C is larger for men than women –Men build passion faster w/ less intimacy Relationship implications –Start slow and go far