Creating a Sense of Belonging Joyously presented by: Kay Holman, Ph.D. Sara Egorin-Hooper Belonging encompasses a need “to be part of the story.” Elizabeth Moje’s

Disclosures The reflections and premises discussed in this workshop may cover familiar territory, but we hope that they confirm our commitment to the values we hold dear and encourage us to share these with others We believe that once we make real contact with a basic truth that we are inspired to act upon, then it should become a “practice” in our way of life, something we intentionally meditate on and act upon everyday!!

Premises We believe life is relational. We believe a crucial measure of our success in life is the way we treat one another every day of our lives Civility allows us to connect successfully with others Whether we like it or not, we are wax upon which others leave their mark. When someone sees us as a thing to use or abuse, that becomes part of who we are in our own eyes as well (self- esteem notwithstanding). When we are on the receiving end of an act of kindness, we feel validated. We translate that act into a simple very powerful unspoken message to ourselves: I am not alone, I have value and my life has meaning. Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect, and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness. P.M. Forni, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct

How to be part of the story What is belonging? Why is belonging important in life and school? How can we create a sense of belonging in our school communities? m/ m/

Sharing Your Story~ Think of a time you really felt like you belonged: –What are some words that describe that experience? –Where were you? –Who was there? –How did you feel? –What made you feel like you belonged?

A Sense of Belonging Valued for my own contributions Collaborate with others towards a common purpose or goal (be an active participant) Appreciate and celebrate each person’s unique gifts Provide options, choices Have fun, relax, and be present Feel Welcomed

What is belonging? “If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day.” –Leonard Cohen

Circle of Courage “Oneness”

Belonging A sense of belonging means that a student is a valued member of a community while still maintaining his or her uniqueness. It is a relationship between two or more persons characterized by a sense of connection and support. A sense of belonging is an important experience for a student's feeling of well- being, social engagement, and competence.

Belonging Belonging increases intrinsic motivation, for it fosters self-confidence and investment in the community. School staff have the opportunity to establish a culture of belonging in their school community, one that promotes their students' sense of well-being, connection, and self-belief. Feeling like you are part of a group, while knowing you are special for who you are

Belonging For schools to adequately serve all students they must be: –developmentally responsive –challenging –empowering, –and equitable The concept of belonging relates to all four

Belonging Baumeister and Leary (1995) have proposed that all people have “an innate need to belong to social groups and to form positive interpersonal relationships with others” Belonging is related to our need to have affiliation and to be a member of communities. Two main aspects of belonging: –Frequent interpersonal contacts and interactions –The perception of bonds or relationships that have stability, affective connection, and the likelihood of ongoing interaction

Why is belonging important?

Why is belonging important When students feel like they belong, they have an enhanced sense of worth and increased self-confidence –If they do not feel they belong, they feel helpless and have no sense of control over the environment When students feel like they belong, they are more motivated, have higher expectations of success, and believe in the value of their academic success

Maslow (1971) Believed that maladjustment and emotional illness in our society could be traced to the failure to gratify the basic human need for belonging. Students who exhaust their energies attempting to meet this deficiency have no reserves left for higher level connotative and cognitive functions

The Importance of Belonging, Norman Kunc “How do we create an authentic sense of belonging in our school communities?”

Where to begin… Willingness Collaboration Creativity Relationships Respect Relevance

The essence When we encourage students, we are telling them, “You can do it. I believe in you. You belong here.” It takes only a moment to give a student a specific comment and to encourage that student. It takes only a little more effort to make that human connection and begin to create a community where we can all belong.

Build a Sense of Belonging How can we…. 1.help students feel welcomed and valued 2.create a safe, civil, and predictable learning environment for all students-treat all people with equal respect 3.help students identify and use their strengths to be active participants in the classroom and school community 4.emphasize cooperation, not competition-and create activities that promote inclusion rather than exclusion 5.create an engaging environment that encourages risk-taking and provides options

Words of Wisdom~ Promoting Civility in our Schools How you “show up” matters, every day and in every interaction. Help each other be right, not wrong. Look for ways to make new ideas work not for reasons they won’t. Help each other be successful, and take pride in each other’s success. Write a new story, when needed.

Words of Wisdom~ Promoting Civility in our Schools Act with respect, be thoughtful and responsible…practice civility daily. Speak positively about each other and about your school and educational programs at every opportunity. Maintain a positive mental attitude no matter what the circumstances. Act with initiative and courage, as if it all depends on you AND imagine the possibilities…

IMAGINE… Be a POSSIBILITARIAN!

Keep a song in your heart. Home, this feels like home It’s a vision of what school can be, People caring and fair Always willing to share And we’re starting right here, you and me.