Goal Setting

Teens Can Make it Happen

Do you believe you have control over your life? We have a lot more influence than we think we have.

Obstacles

Obstacles * “I can’t” or Negative thoughts and messages * Lack of motivation * Lack of focus * Not enough time * Procrastination * Fear of taking risks *

Who tells you that you can’t accomplish your dream? 1. Influence of others * No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. * We all need a support system: friends and adults who believe in us (Relationship Circle).

The voices inside our heads. * Sometimes we can be our own biggest critic and obstacle. We are hard on ourselves!*

Self-fulfilling prophecy: * Whether you believe you can or you can’t do something, you are right. *

Make a list of those people who believe in you Make a list of those people who believe in you. * These people are your Support System. Support System: * 1. 2. 3.

Example of Support System: 1. Friends – name them 2. Family: siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles 3. Adults: parents, teachers, coaches 4. Who else?

Self-fulfilling prophecy: List 3 negative things you tell yourself. * 1. I can’t ________ (fill in the blanks) 2. I can’t ________ 3. I can’t ________ Self-fulfilling prophecy: If you believe you can or can’t do something, you are right.

Positive Thinking:* What can we do to turn a negative thought into a positive one?

Focus on successes in our life. * Remind ourselves of the positive qualities we have. * Turn the thought into a personal challenge to be proven incorrect. * Sometimes, we have to give ourselves a break - everyone makes mistakes. We all have set backs and obstacles. *

How can our support system help? *

They can listen to us when the going gets tough They can listen to us when the going gets tough. * They talk us out of our negative thoughts. * They can give advise, maybe from experience.* They can see things as outsiders. * They believe in us! *

Do you believe you have control over your life?

We can’t do much about what others may say or think about us We can’t do much about what others may say or think about us. We can only focus on the things that are within our control.

Success Circles are categories where we can improve in our lives. We have the power to influence the things that matter most inside our Success Circles.

What matters most to you in each circle? You can make them happen. Success Circles School/Career Planning 1. 2. 3. 1. 2. 3. 1. 2. 3. Relationships Personal Development What matters most to you in each circle? You can make them happen.

School/Career Planning Success Circles Do homework Ask for help 3. Talk to counselor about a chosen career School/Career Planning 1. Get along better with parents 2. Confide in someone I trust 3. Help my close friends 1. Exercise regularly 2. Volunteer my time 3. Take part in a walk-a-thon Relationships Personal Development

What means the most to you in this category? 1. 2. 3. 4. What means the most to you in this category? How can you be successful in this category?

Relationships * 1. 2. 3. 4. What means the most to you in this category? How can you be successful in this category?

Personal Development * 1. 2. 3. 4. What means the most to you in this category? How can you be successful in this category?

If we are having a problem in one area, most likely it has a negative affect on the other areas. It is important to have a balance in our life, paying attention to school, personal development, relationships with family, friends and the adults who are in a position to help us.

Motivation can be connected with Vision Think about this…. If you attain your goals or are on your way to fulfilling them, what will your life be like in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? Or another way of looking at it: What will your life be in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years if you don’t fulfill your goal. Which will be better in the long run?

Motivation

Motivation can be connected with * Willpower * Your will gives you power to respond to your conscience rather than to distractions and outside influences. * Conscience: Is this what I should be doing? *

Motivation is also connected to mental health: *Motivation is also connected to mental health: * Mental health – being positive and optimistic. An optimistic person sees bad times as temporary, failure as a step to eventual success, and misfortune as the result of circumstances beyond one’s control.

If you find yourself being pessimistic or negative * focus on a solution * seek your support system of those who believe in you * develop relationships with those with positive, optimistic outlooks *

Focus *

Focus * How often do you waste time on things you can’t control? * Rate each question: Never 1 Seldom 2 Sometimes 3 Frequently 4 Always 5 How often do you waste time on things you can’t control? * 2. How well are you able to let go of the past and focus on the present? *

Never 1 Seldom 2 Sometimes 3 Frequently 4 Always 5 3. How often do you procrastinate on important tasks, decisions or issues? * 4. How often do you act – or not act – out of fear, only to wish later that you had acted differently? *

5. How often do you take actions or steps toward your goals? * Never 1 Seldom 2 Sometimes 3 Frequently 4 Always 5 5. How often do you take actions or steps toward your goals? * 6. How much of your time is spent based on your priorities and what you want to achieve? * 7. How well do you take charge of your time on a day-to-day basis? *

Score: 5 - 10: Excellent 11 - 16:. Very good 17 - 22:. Good 23 - 28: Score: 5 - 10: Excellent 11 - 16: Very good 17 - 22: Good 23 - 28: OK 29 - 35: Poor

4 Keys to Staying Focused on Your Vision * It is just as important to know what not to do as what to do. Don’t back down when faced with challenges or hard times, but don’t waste time on things you cannot control.

2. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted from the truly important things in your journey by the urgent things that cry out to you. *

This attitude makes it extremely hard to reach goals. Don’t procrastinate. Be Proactive. * ****Procrastinators are not people who don’t know what to do; they’re people who do know what to do but for various reasons they don’t take action. * This attitude makes it extremely hard to reach goals. (more later)

********************************* 4. Every day, do something that is truly important in moving you toward your goals. * ***********************************

Time Management*

Improving Your Time Management Skills Improving Your Time Management Skills * Write down 2 - 3 ideas that could help you with time management from the following list: * Plan your time regularly Make a list of everything you need to do each day 3. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Just do it.

4. Prioritize tasks and estimate how much time each will take. 5. Eliminate all the self-distractions that you can as you work on your task. 6. Focus on one thing at a time.

7. Write down important thoughts or notes related to the task 7. Write down important thoughts or notes related to the task. Don’t rely on your memory. 8. Set and keep deadlines. 9. Slow down and regroup when you feel overwhelmed. Do something daily towards your goal.

Risk Taking *

Risk Taking * 1. What is one risk you could take today that would move you most efficiently and effectively toward fulfilling your goal or your vision of a better life?

2. What is the one thing you fear the most about taking that risk?

3. What one habit or thing holds you back from taking that risk?

4. Why is this a fear for you?

5. How can you overcome it? Consider practical steps to take, resources and people who can offer assistance.

6. List one action you can take this week to reduce the impact of the fear.

*The most important risks to take are those that will move you most quickly toward your goals. *Failure to take risks limits your opportunity and new experiences. *By avoiding risks, you are giving in to fears and miss opportunities.

Failure can provide an opportunity to learn Failure can provide an opportunity to learn. Some of the most useful lessons are learned as a result of things that didn’t work out. In order to evaluate a risk, balance your needs and desires with your goals and values. If you take a risk and it works out well, you not only get closer to your goal but you add a tremendous amount to your self-confidence.

Procrastination *

When was the last time you said… This isn’t the right time to ….. I have a few other things to deal with first. I don’t have time. I’ve been meaning to do that. I’m too distracted to do that. There is probably a safer (better, faster, easier) way of doing this. I’ll wait for it. Tomorrow!

Procrastination * Two types of procrastinators: Arousal – put things off because they get a thrill out of doing things at the last minute Avoidance – put things off because of fear of failure or wanting to avoid unpleasant things. They believe they are better off not trying than trying and failing. However, to not to try is the biggest failure of all.

Getting past “but…..” and “one day I’m gonna…..” Take small bites. * It is easy for procrastinators to put off large or complex projects or tasks, because they never have enough time to finish it all at once. Therefore, why start? Break the project down into smaller pieces. Then you only have to focus and finish that portion for now.

Example, you have an essay that is due in a week Example, you have an essay that is due in a week. Start on your thesis statement and one of the body paragraphs on the first night. On the second night, write the second body paragraph. Third night the Introduction, etc. Continue a portion each night until the entire essay is complete. Break the project down into manageable pieces.

2. Begin now! * Before you start to come up with excuses, sit down, start working and force yourself to keep going for at least one hour. Then set a time to pick up where you left off. If you force yourself to do something immediately you may surprise yourself at how pleased you are with your progress and it will inspire you to keep at it a little at a time until you finish.

3. Slam the door on critics * When you feel you can’t make a decision because someone is holding you back, break free of that sense of helplessness and victimization. Take control. Sometimes you have to go against the opinions of those around you in order to make the right decision for yourself. Example: your friends want you to go out and you have an assignment. They are doing so well and school and they want you to do badly as well.

4. Think of the carrot and not the stick. * Focus on the rewards that await you rather than on the difficulties and demands. How many times have you worried about doing something only to discover that it was not nearly as difficult as you imagined? Focusing on the difficulties can freeze you from taking action. When you make a decision that will be challenging for you to carry out but that will better your life, keep in mind how that action will ultimately reward you.

5. Bring in a coach * Look to your support system to be your anti-procrastination coach. Give your coach a list of the things you need to do and order him or her to dog you until you do them.

6. Don’t demand perfection * Tell yourself there is not going to be a perfect time to get started, and that you don’t have to be perfect in your performance. Compromise and start immediately; rough out the task and then build upon it. No one is demanding that you not make no mistakes. Make your own expectations more realistic and then focus not on your expectations, but on the work needed to be done.

6 points to avoid procrastination * Take small bites. Begin now! Don’t listen to those who criticize you. Think of how good you will feel after you have accomplished the goal. Ask for help. Focus on progress, not perfection.

Commitment

Commitment A true commitment is doing rather than saying. It is persevering and continuing to pursue your vision in spite of distractions, hardships, criticism and risk.

Write down a commitment you have made already in your life. Think about commitments you made to your parents, your friends, to a relationship, to sports or to yourself.

Next to the commitment you have kept, write down what positive effect it had on your life. How did you feel? Commitment: Positive Effect Example: I lost 5 pounds: I was able to fit back into favorite pants – good feeling

Write down a commitment that you were not able to keep. Note why you were not able to keep it. (Be honest with yourself. You can only learn from the past when you are honest.) What was the result from not keeping the commitment?

Example: I promised my parents I would be home at midnight from a party they let me go to. I came back late from party because I wanted to spend more time with my friends (thinking of myself). Now, my parents are less trusting of me.

Keeping a commitment is a major step forward, but breaking one is a step back. * Don’t make commitments that you can’t keep. Make commitments wisely and only after careful consideration. If you overload yourself with responsibilities, you will succeed only in frustrating yourself and those around you.

When you keep commitments, you build confidence and begin to break free from circumstance that have held you back. * The first step to getting unstuck from your life is to stop breaking commitments to yourself.

To be committed, you have to have goals, and you have to have vision and enthusiasm about pursuing that vision. Pursuit: The act of striving for or after an activity, such as a vocation or hobby, that you are engaged in regularly.

Enthusiasm comes with an emotional commitment to a vision, goal or dream. Understand that your life depends not on your goals but in your pursuit of those goals. When you are leading a life with direction, purpose and enthusiasm, you are truly living.

Think about people you know who are just going through the motions. They tend to have no direction in life and lack enthusiasm. The thought of a challenge sends them running in terror back to the television, back to the street corner hang out, back to going nowhere fast.

Now think about those you know who are full of life. What do they share? A purpose and direction for their life. They also share enthusiasm and energy. A willingness to face challenges and overcome them. They feel they have control over their life.

Steps to Goal Setting State the Goal Outline the steps List the obstacles and how to avoid them State the deadline

Successful Goals The Game Plans of Life Must: Be Realistic Be Meaningful Be Well-defined Excite you Have a logical progression May need fine tuning Require positive action Goals are part of a healthy life

Finally, a sense of humor goes a long way in life! *