Treating the Non-Offending Parent By: Angelé Morgan, M.S.W., L.C.S.W.

Definition of a Non-Offending Parent (NOP) Any caregiver who ignores (directly or indirectly) the signs and symptoms of child abuse and neglect and fails to protect a child

Purpose of Treating the Non-Offending Parent This is accomplished through: - Education - Guidance - Support Family Safety

4 What to Expect as a Facilitator

5 In The Beginning Expect Resistance and Anger from the clients - Non-Offending Parents feel judged by “the system” and “forced” to make quick decisions.

6 During The Process Some of the clients will not see the purpose of the treatment or engage in the learning process

7 The Others Will engage in treatment and actively learn

8 Facilitator Challenges Counter-Transference: Our ability to listen and help a parent who fails to protect their child.

Client’s Right to Choose: This class is particularly difficult for facilitators because, as hard as most of us try, we cannot understand how a parent would choose to be with an offender over their own child. So in order for the NOP’s to listen and learn from the facilitator there must be a non-judgmental and caring attitude going into each session. Hearing this choice repeatedly can make it very difficult to stay motivated to help non-offending parents and to maintain the goals of treatment.

Encourage parents to learn safety factors to protect their children Provide a better understanding and level of support for the parent’s current situation Help parents move out of denial Goals of Treatment

Different Roles of the Non- Offending Parent Parent Spouse/Partner Victim Offender (Neglect and Failure to Protect)

12 What are some reasons a non- offending parent might be in denial?

13 FEAR - Fear of having to choose between abuser and child - Financial Fears - Fear of facing their own past abuse - Fear of being blamed or called a bad parent

Dynamics Associated with Non- Offending Parent NOP is grieving the loss of a relationship NOP may be a victim of past abuse themselves NOP may be feeling like a “bad” parent for not protecting his/her own child NOP may be in denial NOP may be jealous

15 Outcomes for the Treatment of the Non-Offending Parent

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17 Measure the Concepts Learned - Use a written test to measure what the non- offending parent has learned - The facilitator offers recommendations to the referral source based on the non-offending parent’s participation, application of what they have learned (scenarios), and test scores

18 Moving Forward

19 Two Types of Reunification Reunification between the victim and the Non-Offending Parent

20 Reunification steps when the victim is removed from the home Step1 Individual therapy session for the victim to discuss concerns related to returning home with the non- offending parent. The victim may want to make a list of questions for the non-offending parent to answer

21 Step 2 Individual therapy session with the non-offending parent to address concerns and questions the victim has listed from step 1. This session is to ensure the non-offending parent is not blaming the victim and is addressing the victim’s concerns appropriately

22 Step 3 Family therapy session between the non-offending parent and victim to discuss the concerns and provide solutions which will ensure safety

23 Reunification between the victim and the abuser

Reunification Process Between the Victim and Abuser No- Process stops Does the victim want reunification? Yes No- Process stops Has the victim completed counseling? Yes No- Process stops Does the victims counselor agree that victim is ready? Yes No- Process stops Does the abuser’s counselor agree that abuser is ready? Yes

Reunification Process with Abuser Apology Session Clarification Session Family Safety Session Ongoing Family Sessions

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