Language makes others have different thoughts and feelings

How can you tell people are interested in you? Asking questions about: - Things they like/ dislike - Family/friends - Favorite foods/ sports/ vacation spots, etc. Looking at you Finding you to chat Spending time with you

Not Showing Interest in people How do you feel when people show they are not interested in you? Usually don’t feel good when we are ignored or don’t show interest - Awkward or Uncomfortable; Have weird thoughts - Don’t feel good; Might be irritated

Showing Interest in People How do you feel when people show interest in you? Usually feel good when people show they are interested in us - Comfortable; Happy/Content - Feel good; Might want to have another conversation another time

Examples of showing interest/ disinterest

Showing interest/disinterest What is Caitlin thinking/feeling? What is Erika thinking/feeling?

Examples of interests/ disinterest

How do we show interest?

Showing Interest or Not? Sheldon and Amy chatting: Does Amy show interest in what Sheldon is saying? Does Sheldon show interest in what Amy is saying? What he DOESHow others FEEL ConsequencesHow he FEELS about how he was treated

Example A Joe: I got a new computer game at the end of the summer. Frank: I got a new rock cleaner for my rock collection and I have been collecting and cleaning rocks including volcanic and moon rocks. How does Joe feel? - Frank does not show interest in Joe. He just talks about himself, possibly making Joe feel that Frank does not care about him ** Come up with a response for Frank that would show he is interested in Joe.

Example B Joe: I got a new computer at the end of the summer. Frank: What game did you get? Joe: Minecraft- I’ve been playing it all the time. Frank: That’s really cool but I do not know how to play that game. I spent the summer working on my rock collection. Joe: That’s cool. I didn’t know that people collected rocks. What type of rocks do you collect?

Example B How does Joe feel about Frank when he asked what game he got, even though Frank did not know much about the game? How does Frank feel when Joe asked questions about his rocks, even though he didn’t know much about them? Why is it important to make other people feel good?

What you do can also make others have thoughts/feelings What he DOESHow others FEEL ConsequencesHow he FEELS about how he was treated

How can you respond to show you are interested in this person? 1. Your classmate says to you: “I had a baseball game last night” 2. I come in for lunch and say to you: “I’m really excited about my upcoming vacation” 3. A teacher says to you: “I heard it might snow tomorrow” 4. Your mom says to you: “I had a really long day at work”

Thoughts and Feelings Everyone has thoughts and feelings ALL the time! - You are all having a thought and a feeling right now Social Thinking happens anytime you are sharing space! - (Boy Meets World) (Buddy- Elf)

Social Thinking Happens whenever you are sharing space What the person DOES How it makes others FEEL or THINK Consequences based on how others feel/think How did the person FEEL about how they were treated?

What we say makes others have thoughts/feelings What could happen in the future? (consequence)

What we say makes others have thoughts/feelings What could happen in the future? (consequence)

“People Files” We keep these files in our brain about people we meet Memories of past experiences Info about people’s interests/disinterests, emotional reactions Facts about friends and families, etc. Need to remember both good and weird thoughts to help us make judgments about who to interact with and who we choose not to interact with

My files Likes board games Talks with me about Boy Meets World Luke Went to the Patriots game Amir He can be funny Likes Xbox Went to Dubai for holidays Carsten Fun to play Wii with Likes Computers Got a Surface Pro 3

What do you think or know about a person?

Review Friend Files

Using what we know to ask people questions about their interests People are perceived as “friendly” when they show interest in others People are perceived as “unfriendly” when they don’t show interest in others

How can you show interest in others? Twin babies: Talking to each other

Are they showing interest?

Ask questions to show interest… If you don’t ask questions or show interest, person might feel or think Sheldon and Amy: Annoyed or bored He only thinks about himself

Asking Questions.. “Pass the unicorn”- only the person with the unicorn can speak. First person asks a question and passes it to that person. They answer and then turn and ask someone else a question - see how long we can keep it going for- let’s try for 30 seconds What types of questions can we ask other people?

Using questions to start the conversation Initial questions- starts the conversation 1. How was your day? 2. Do you like sports? What are some initial questions/ conversation starters?

Using questions to keep the conversation going Follow-up questions- keeps the conversation going, clarifies information or seek new information 1. Why was your day so long? 2. Basketball is cool. What’s your favorite NBA team?

Conversation Example Hey. How was your weekend? It was great. I was in Rhode Island. What did you do in Rhode Island? I saw my aunt and uncle. What did you do?

Let’s try this example A:“What did you do this weekend?” B: “I played on the computer and went out to dinner” - If I don’t ask anything else, I am not following up and the conversation ends. - What would be a good follow-up question to this response?

Game Show Will pick a question off the board - Will ask initial question on the card - Will earn one point for every follow-up question asked First person- question asker Another person- volunteer to answer questions

How’s your day going? How did it feel when I made a comment? How did it feel when I didn’t make a comment? ** So we should provide supporting comments to make people feel good, since this is what we want people to do for us Cool

Supporting Comments Little comments and gestures we make in response to someone else’s words - Shows we are paying attention to speaker - Shows we have a thought or emotion in response to speaker’s message We might provide this response to make the speaker think we are paying attention, even though we aren’t - Show or fake interest

Supporting Comments and Gestures Comments: “wow”, “cool”, “sounds fun”, “wish I was there”, “yikes”, “that doesn’t sound good”, etc. Nonverbal gestures: *** must have your body and eyes facing the person - ex. while looking at a person can nod your head in agreement to show you heard or understood the person - What are other types of nonverbal gestures?

Minions Clip How can you tell they are paying attention?

What ‘Supportive Comments’ does Anton use?

Give a supportive comment I went out to dinner last night. Oh, I saw a great movie this weekend! My grandmother is in the hospital.

Game Show (again) I will be the “talker” You will be the “responder”- using only supportive comments - May be a gesture - May be a comment * Do your best to show (or social fake) your interest in my topic

Supportive Comment Worksheet