Cyber Bullying A guide for parents understanding the “hidden” bully

What is Cyber Bullying? Cyber bullying involves the use of information and communications technologies through:   Cell phones  Text messages  Defamatory websites

How is it like other bullying? Bullying is about human relationships, power and control. Those who bully others are trying to establish power & control over others that they perceive as “weaker” than themselves.

How is cyber bullying different? While bullying is often under the radar screen of adults, cyber bullying is even more so, as today’s youth, often called the “Always on” generation. o Particularly cowardly form of bullying o Can more easily hide behind the anonymity that the internet provides o Remarkable speed to wide audience o Cyber bullies do not have to own their actions o Difficult to identify cyber bullies o Do not fear being punished

Why victims don’t tell Fear of bullying becoming worse Parents removing computer/cell phone to prevent future bullying

Forms Cyber Bullying   IM – Instant Messaging  Chat rooms/Dashboards  Websites  Facebook  Voting/Polling booths

 Use to send harassing and messages to the targets of their hatred and loathing.  Those who are bullied often ask themselves “what have I done to deserve this?  The usual answer is that they have not done anything to deserve such awful messages.

Instant Messaging (IM)  Can create a private chat room with another individual (AOL, MSN, Yahoo)  IM has become a very large part of the social lives of young people  Conversations and conflicts that arise online often translate in person during school hours

Chat Rooms  Real-time communication between two users via computer. The entered text will appear on the other’s monitor.  Virtual chat room allow users to anonymously write anything they want – true or false  People are not always who they say they are.  Chat rooms can be places where some strangers try to “befriend” others, especially young people.  May attempt to lure user to a meeting

Websites  A(location) site on the world wide web. Each web site contains:  Home page  Documents  Owned by individuals, companies or organizations  Cyber bullies can create web sites that mock, torment and harass others.

Voting/Polling Booths  Websites such as offer users the opportunity to create online voting or polling booths. Such topics as:  “The ugliest”  “The fattest”  “The dumbest” The reality is that most of these pages are not regulated by the Web site creators.

Some Facts:  99% of Canadian students have used the internet  50% of Canadian kids say they are online most of the time  Nearly 60% of Canadian students use chat rooms and instant messaging  Only 16% say they talk to parents about what they do online.

 25% of young Canadian internet users say that someone has sent them messages that have said hateful things about others (Young Canadians in a wired world –MNET survey, 2001)  1 in 4 youths, aged has been threatened via their computers or cell phones, including death threats. (National Children’s Home – UK, 2002)  This is the “Always On” generation (74% of connected young people use instant messaging several times a week – Pew Report)

What can you do? Awareness and education is key to prevention o Talk with your children about how they spend their time online and encourage them to speak –up if they have received harassing or offensive messages. o Keep computers in open, common areas, where you can monitor their use. o Students don’t need to be “always on”. Set limits on the amount of time your child is “plugged in”. o Certain software will allow parents to monitor and limit time and subject matter students are accessing.

Victims should:  Never give out personal information  Never open a message from someone you don’t know  Tell an adult to help them deal with a problem  Don’t reply to messages from cyber bullies.  Save offensive and harassing messages as this can be used as evidence to determine who is responsible.

References   Huron-Perth Catholic District School Board  MNET Survey, 2001  National Children’s Home – UK, 2002  Pew Report  Bill Belsey  Ontario Ministry of Education website