How to Avoid, Handle, and Solve Conflict By Shawna Strickland and Jordan Weimar

Communication is the basis for any relationship. Keep it positive by talking to your roomie before things get unbearable. Youll be surprised how much better it will go! If you feel like you need help starting the conversation, see your RA. Dont forget to talk anything and everything, not just when there might be a problem. Roomies are friends, too!

Realize that youre both sharing a very small space. If your roomie comes to you about something, try to see it from their point of view as well. C OMPROMISE is necessary from both sides. Youll need to give some thought to what you can improve, too. Try to give all situations a win-win outcome. Remember, youre in this together!

Remember those contracts you wrote at the beginning of the year? Take a moment to revisit those or create a new one. Respect your roomies boundaries, both within the room and in lifestyle. Youll both make new friends, and remember to respect your roomies new pals, too.

If youre an early bird, considering leaving a small light on at night and being understanding of a late sleeper in the morning. If youre a night owl, come back when youre ready to settle in for the night. Avoid bringing fellow night owls over after roomies bedtime. For both, try to avoid hitting Snooze too often. Remember to turn your alarm off on the weekends, too.

No one likes a faker. After all, who likes Paris Hilton? Be yourself no matter what. It will make addressing the issues easier in the end. Learn to appreciate the differences in your personalities. Opposites attract, right?

Every roomie has some awesome stuff, but remember to ask before touching. Its important to actually abide by equitable division of goodies if youre splitting the expense. Before wearing your roomies favorite shirt to a hot and sweaty club, think how youd feel if you didnt get it back for weeks.

Okay, so were not talking abstinence, just boundaries. If roomie is present, tone down the PDA. Avoid sexiling your roommate. No one likes to be in the lobby alone at two in the morning. Define what is ok in terms of overnight visitors, and respect those terms. Split up the fun between your room and your significant others place, too. Practice safe sex, but dispose of the evidence.

Devise a plan to switch trash duties, then stick to it. Dont let one person get stuck with the dirty deed, whether its taking out the trash and recycling or vacuuming the room, etc. If you need to clear space in the bathroom for the custodian, remember to take care of your own stuff.

When a room smells more like a dumpster than a living area, its a bad sign. Try to avoid dirty clothes everywhere. Nothing is less exciting than stepping on dirty underwear. If you want to be messy, try to keep it on your side of the room.

Do unto others as they want done unto them. Know that everyone does things differently, from handling conflict to eating their cereal. Respecting these differences and treating your roomie as they want to be treated will set you both up for a positive experience.

Thank you for using this bulletin board! Jordan and I both hope that you will find it helpful and useful on your floor. Please let us know if you do post the board; its always nice to hear about its success! Shawna: Jordan and I are both second year RAs in Parmelee Hall at Colorado State University in Fort Collins. (Fall 2008) At RA training, summer s workout theme day!