Planning a Family Chapter 10

Objectives List six things that parents are responsible for providing to their children Name four characteristics that indicate personal readiness for becoming a parent Summarize why parents might have a hard time adjusting to their new roles as parents Identify four basic problems teen parents will face List three options available to teen parents

Rewards and Responsibilities Rewards of Parenting Welcoming a child into the world can bring great joy Parents develop new skills, strengths and understanding of their child, spouses and themselves Parents often feel happiness and love that they have never felt before Children can also enrich an already strong marriage

Rewards and Responsibilities Responsibilities of Parenting Parents are responsible for providing: Constant Care Love Security Shelter Guidance Financial Support - Each stage of childhood is different, requiring parents to constantly meet new challenges

Parenting Roles Parents often play the roles of: Housekeeper Cook Chauffer Friend Playmate Coach Tutor Counselor - Caring for children is a 24-hour a day job, the responsibility can not be put aside for a while

Parenting Roles Parents also have the responsibility of being good role models Whether they realize it or not, children are constantly observing their values, character traits and skills in their everyday actions For better or worse, children will pattern themselves after the examples set by their parents What values have you learned from your parents? Both good and bad?

Ideas About Parenthood Unrealistic Ideas Realistic Reasons I’m lonely. A child will love me. Our marriage is strong and we’re ready to become parents. I feel unimportant, a baby will attract attention and I’ll be noticed. I am willing to put someone else’s needs ahead of my own. My parents want us to have a child. I’m secure in who I am and will work hard to be a good parent. My relationship with my spouse/partner is shaky, a child will make it stronger. We know hat we’re taking on, and we accept the responsibility I’m afraid of the future, a child will care for me when I’m old. We are emotionally and financially ready to have a family of our own.

Readiness for Parenting Parenting is a lifelong, life-changing commitment The decision to have a child needs to be backed up by sound reasoning A child CAN NOT fix problems or weaknesses in your life Children deserve to be born to parents who are ready for parenthood People need to analyze their parenting readiness – which is their level of preparation

Readiness for Parenting Emotional Readiness Emotional Maturity means being responsible enough to consistently put someone else’s needs before your own. Emotionally Mature parents have the inner resources to put the needs of their child before their own They have patience, sensitivity, self-control, and self-confidence If parents cannot cope with their own emotions, they will have trouble handling a child’s emotions

Readiness for Parenting Financial Readiness Raising a child is expensive, couples should assess their financial readiness to become parents They need to determine how they will manage immediate and long-term costs of raising a child Questions couples should ask themselves include Will there need to be spending cuts? Will we need a larger living space? Can we afford for one parent to stay home? How much will child care cost if both parents work?

Readiness for Parenting Personal Readiness Management Skills Parents need to know how to use their time, money and energy wisely. Flexibility Parents who are flexible are better able to meet daily challenges. At a moments notice, parents might need to clean up a spill, take care of an argument or head to the hospital. Willingness to Sacrifice Parents often need to sacrifice their time, money and personal interests for their children. Consistency Parents need the maturity to behave consistently. Establishing and enforcing rules, routines and limits help children feel secure and understand their boundaries

Adjusting to Parenthood The Mother’s Recovery Not only is there a physical recovery, but many women also experience bouts of depression and anxiety – the rush of hormones can make new mothers feel emotional A newborn needs to be fed and changed 10-12 times a day, around the clock Adjusting as a Couple A father may feel like an outsider when the mother and baby get a lot of the attention Studies show marital satisfaction often decreases after the birth of a baby Spouses tend to fight more and show each other less affection Couples who acknowledge and deal with the challenges are more likely to experience a stronger marriage Planning Ahead The decision to become parents deserves careful thought and discussion – the couple should discuss how they will handle the demands of parenting along with their other responsibilities and goals.

Reflection Part I On a separate piece of paper, answer each of the following questions on a separate piece of paper: Identify three rewards of parenting Summarize the different aspects of a readiness new parents have to deal with. Describe why new parents tend to be very tired.

Consequences of Teenage Pregnancy Adjusting to parenthood can be hard for anyone, but especially hard for teens Teen parents face difficulties that parents in their 20’s and 30’s do not Most teens are not mature enough, physically, emotionally or financially Teen parenthood has predictable consequences. The four basic types of problems are Health risks Education challenges Financial Issues Emotional and Social stress

Health Risks One complication teen mothers are more at risk for is an iron deficiency which deprives the baby and mother of oxygen Babies born to teen mothers are more likely to be premature – which means born before 37 weeks They are also more likely to have a low birth weight (less than 5lbs 8 ounces) Premature babies run greater risks for serious health problems such as vision and hearing loss, respiratory problems, learning disabilities and mental retardation.

Health Risks A female teen has high nutritional needs, when she becomes pregnant there must be an extra emphasis on nutrition to help the baby grow Many teens put off getting medical care because they do not want to face the fact they are pregnant – however – those who take proper care of themselves have a great chance of having a healthy baby

Babies Born to Teen Parents Tend to have: Less supportive and stimulating home environments Have higher rates of behavioral problems More likely to be neglected and abused because their teen parents do not know how to handle the stress and emotions of being a parent More likely to become teen parents themselves

Education Challenges It is important for teen parents to finish their schooling, at least through high school Unfortunately, many drop out to support themselves and their baby Nearly HALF of all teen mothers who drop out never return to finish their diploma Without a diploma it is hard to make enough money to support a family, and in turn puts the burden on society to help the family.

Financial Issues/Emotional Stress Most teen parents experience financial problems It is important to determine Paternity, the legal identification of a man as the father, it legally ensures he is responsible even if he decides to not be a part of the child’s life Teen parents do not have the freedom or money to hang out with friends as much as their peers do Teens realize quickly that they must give up a lot to be a good parent

Teen Parenting Options Marriage Most people would agree that a strong and successful marriage benefits parents and their children Adoption Closed adoption – is an adoption in which the birth parents do not know the names of the adoptive parents Open adoption – is an adoption where the birth parents and adoptive parents know something about each other Single Parent Teens considering single parenthood need to be realistic and ask the right questions Single teen parents can be successful, but it is not an easy road