Bring Your Essay: Rewording and Rewriting An English/Reading Workshop Troy University Troy, Alabama

Before you go any further... What is your plan of development? What format are you to use -- APA or MLA? What are you supposed to include in each part of your paper? Parts of the Paper  Title Page (APA / MLA optional)  Abstract (APA) – may be optional  Introduction (APA or MLA)  Body  Conclusion  MLA Works Cited or APA References

Reword and Rewrite = Revise Reword -- Express using different language or word choice Rewrite – to improve or present in a publishable format Revise – change; provide an edited or changed version; to delete or correct errors

What might you need to revise? Topic Sentences for each paragraph  The topic sentence is the focus of your paragraph.  The Topic sentence relates to your thesis statement.

What might you need to revise? Thesis Statement for the entire paper Thesis = Opinion + focus Use active voice and appropriate transition. Example: In the “Story of An Hour,” the protagonist’s heart condition symbolizes the general stress and oppression of women during the late 1800’s. Activate the verb. Clearly identify the subject responsible for the action

What might you need to revise? Intent Statements (APA Format only) Intent statements are the last few, directly stated sentences in the introduction of an APA-formatted paper. These sentences may outline for readers the paper’s purpose, focus or content. Example of Intent Statements: This paper includes a definition of the term “writing anxiety,” as well as a discussion of why many people struggle with the problem of writing anxiety. This paper next presents a review of literature related to the problem. This paper ends with a proposal to resolve the problem and help function.

What might you need to reword? Quoted Material Whenever possible, reword quoted material. In other words, paraphrase quotes whenever possible. Even if you paraphrase the information, you should give the author of the source credit for the idea. You can either parenthetically cite the source of the idea or within the sentence, identify the source of the idea. You do not have to give the page number if you have not directly quoted any of the information. Example: Randolf Smith, in the March 2008 Times article, indicates that far too many people have a fear of writing that they can neither explain or overcome.

More about presenting quotes...  Always introduce quotes. Do not present isolated quotes (quotes that lack transition).  If you need to present a direct quote, present it concisely. Use ellipses... to indicate that you are omitting nonessential terms, which should not altar the meaning of the quote. MLA format example: Leland Graham and Isabelle McCoy, co-authors of Building Proofreading Skills, state that a noun “... names a person, place, thing or idea” (39). APA format example: Leland Graham and Isabelle McCoy (1999, 39), co-authors of Building Proofreading Skills, state that a noun “... names a person, place, thing or idea.”

What else should you revise? Look At Your Logic. Does what you have written make sense to you? Will what you have written make sense to your reading audience? If your logic does not support your thesis, then you need to revise. Source: abcteach.com ?

Are your sentences clear? Tip 1: Avoid vague pronoun references that make you reader ask “To whom or what is the writer referring?” Example: They say that both of the party candidates will lose if they do not stop insulting one another. (Who are they? Political advisors, news commentators, other members of the party, Troy University students, etc.) Tip 2: Do not string together too many sentences, ideas, or words. To improve clarity, use appropriate punctuation, and if necessary, reconstruct sentences. Example: Shah, a naturalized American, lived, studied, and earned his medical degree in India before coming to the United States in July, 1999, and now, he has become a well-respected rural health physician operating a non-profit clinic in the Alabama Blackbelt region, and so it is ironic that he is going to present a special lecture on the community and professional benefits of rural health initiatives at the American Medical Association Conference in July, 2009, exactly ten years after moving to the U. S. Shah plans one day to return to India and start clinics similar to the one he started in Alabama.

Final Revision Check List: Did you accomplish your plan?  Do you have a plan of development to which you can refer?  Do you have a thesis or Intent Statements?  Did you revise your thesis or intent statements, and your topic sentences?  Did you restate your thesis in your conclusion or indicate in your conclusion that you accomplished your intent statements?  Did you cover all of the information you planned to cover?  Is your paper readable?

Practice Exercise: Revise this Paragraph. Shah, a naturalized American, lived, studied, and earned his medical degree in India, before coming to the United States in July, 1999, and now, he has become a well-respected rural health physician operating a non- profit clinic in the Alabama Blackbelt region, and so it is ironic that he is going to present a special lecture on the community and professional benefits of rural health initiatives at the American Medical Association Conference in July, 2009, exactly ten years after moving to the U. S. Shah plans one day to return to India and start clinics similar to the one he started in Alabama.

Practice Exercise Answer: Possible Revision Shah, a naturalized American, lived, studied, and earned his medical degree in India, before coming to the United States in July, Now, Shah has become a well- respected rural health physician operating a non-profit clinic in the Alabama Blackbelt region. It is ironic then that he is going to present a special lecture on the community and professional benefits of rural health initiatives at the American Medical Association Conference in July, 2009, exactly ten years after moving to the U. S. Interestingly, Shah plans one day to return to India and start clinics similar to the one he started in Alabama.

Don’t Forget to turn in your Evaluation Form for this workshop before you leave. Thanks. – SSS staff THE END