Bullying Rob Fowler, Detective Ada County Sheriff’s Office School Resource Officer Eagle High School

Course Objectives Gain better understanding of what bullying is and what drives it. Learn to identify & address bullying Identify common traits of bullies Identify common traits of victims Develop personal strategies to address bullying within your sphere of influence 3

Course Objectives (continued) Learn positive ways to deal with bullies Learn supportive ways to deal with bullying victims Learn positive ways to deal with parents Victim Bully 4

Course Objectives (continued) Learn what the four “P”’s are and how to use them: Prepare Plan Practice Proficiency 5

What’s going on in our Community? Significant growth in Idaho 4th fastest growing state in nation Population boom Children have less quality time with adult role models as financial need requires longer work commitments Larger population brings larger crime statistics Juvenile crime is on the increase

What’s going on in our schools? Schools cannot be built fast enough to accommodate the large number of students moving into the area New populations of juveniles bring different social and cultural values with them New populations of juveniles have a need to fit in

What’s going on in our schools? Violence is a reality in our nation 1998 35 students killed in school violence 2004/2005 school year 28 students killed 250,000 injured Fear of violence is up Fear of gangs is up Emulation of gang style is back on the rise

What’s going on in our schools? How many children have died from fires in schools in the last 25 years? Why? Why aren’t we doing the same prevention for gangs and violence in our schools? Because we don’t want to be labeled as paranoid.

What about Violence Prevention? Standardized codes to prevent violence in schools Through architectural design Example: The strategic use of windows that look out on the school entrance so that students can see into the school and know that others can see them. Surveillance technology GPS tracking of School Busses minimizing opportunities for out-of-sight activities Including School busses Access control managing access to all school areas

Our Culture of Violence 12

MEDIA VIOLENCE: EXPOSURE AND CONTENT American children and youths spend, on average, more than 4 hours a day with television, computers, videotaped movies, and video games (Roberts et al., 1999; Woodard, 2000). -Surgeon General’s report on youth violence

Indiana University Brain Scan Research Adolescent’s Brain with Low Video Media Exposure is the left image and Adolescent’s Brain with High Video Media Exposure is the image on the right.

Indiana University Brain Scan Research Media Violence stunts or “retards” kids’ brain development: Children with violent TV, movie and video game exposure had reduced cognitive brain function. Media violence makes violent brains, Violent TV, movies and video game exposure had an affect on normal kids that made their brain scans the same as children with diagnosed Aggressive Behavior Disorder.

Indiana University Brain Scan Research For more information on this study visit www.sosparents.org

"I don't know why it's a shock to us that these kids would try to find a way to turn violence into entertainment. It's all around them.“ Dr. Ken Druck, Psychologist

Music and Violence Make no mistake about it, music can summon a range of emotions, most of which are wonderful. Yet there is some music that communicates potentially harmful health messages, especially when it reaches a vulnerable audience.

Music and Violence For example, Nine Inch Nails released “Big Man with a Gun,” with the following lyrics: I am a big man (yes I am) and I have a big gun; got me a big old dick and I like to have fun; held against your forehead, I’ll make you suck it, maybe I’ll put a hole in your head; you know, just for the fuck of it...I’m every inch a man, and I’ll show you somehow; me and my f--king gun; nothing can stop me now; shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot...

Music and Violence Marilyn Manson has quite the way with a lyric: “Who said date rape isn’t kind,” “The housewife I will beat” and “I slit my teenage wrist” are just a sample from two songs. Frank Palumbo, M.D., FAAP, American Academy of Pediatrics

Music and Violence We believe something can and should be done. Poll after poll laments the belief that our country, including its youth, is losing its moral center. Responsibility, respect and discipline are thought to be a thing of the past. Crime and violence have escalated to the point where it is a public health problem. Although there is no one solution, awareness of, and sensitivity to, the potential impact of music lyrics and videos by consumers, the media and the music industry is one important piece of the puzzle. It is in the children’s best interest to listen to lyrics or to watch videos that are not violent, sexist, drug-oriented, or antisocial. Frank Palumbo, M.D., FAAP, American Academy of Pediatrics

What is our kids music telling us? When this began I had nothing to say And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me I was confused And I'd let it all out to find That I'm not the only person with these things in mind Inside of me When all the vacancy the words revealed Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel Nothing to lose Just stuck, hollow and alone And the fault is my own and the fault is my own I wanna heal I wanna feel What I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I felt so long Erase all the pain till its gone I wanna heal I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I want to find something I've wanted all along Somewhere I belong

Snoop Dogg Lyrics Every time I come around they like "Oh No" I get to trippin; slap the clip up in my 44 Shit I been thru in my hood made my heart cold I get to poppin off that thang like I'm loco No sense in coppin pleas when you see my knife out (knife out) Motherfuckers light out (lights out) Here comes Snoop, uh (oh shit) (Oh No) Sup Nigga, sup now, huh? (Oh No) [Snoop:] Ricky Ticky Timble, C's is the symbol Courdoroy khakis, stacies & brimmed up Straight razors just to keep you trimmed up 1-8-7, oh yeah, now you remember He's electrifyin & original So gangster, Snoop Dogg the criminal The one you hate to love, in the club, in the cut Hugged up wit yo bitch, nigga I don't give a shit You betta check dat ho, that's what wreckin G Now step your game down, cause ain't no checkin me You'll be respectin me until you leave this room Or my gat'll go boom, bullets go zoom Now your names on a tomb They pourin out liquor wit no room to consume, you silly buffoon I pop niggas like balloons, I ain't feeling em Walkin in my big blue chucks cause I'm killin em

Superchic[k] HERO No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in But we feel like we do when we make fun of him Cause you want to belong do you go along? Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong It's not like you hate him or want him to die But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side Any kindness from you might have saved his life Heroes are made when you make a choice You could be a hero Heroes do what's right You could be a hero You might save a life You could be a hero, You could join the fight For what's right for what's right for what's right No one talks to her, she feels so alone She's in too much pain to survive on her own The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave, Fighting the lie that giving up is the way, Each moment of courage her own life she saves When she throws the pills out a hero is made

What Can I Do? Accept the fact that violence is a real problem in our community Accept the fact that violence affects everyone regardless of sex, race or financial status Accept the fact that it could happen to you, your children or your students

What Can I Do? Prepare yourself now for the possibility that your child may be lured into the world of violence Remove the following phrases from your vocabulary “Not my child” “Not him / her “It’s just a phase” “He / She just likes that _______” (music, clothing, video game, etc.)

What Can I Do? What does that mean to me? It means you can’t engage in consuming movies, music, video games, clothing, etc. that promotes or glorifies gang life styles and / or violence. This means you can’t buy these things for them either!

What Can I Do? Understand that because you can filter between reality and fantasy, that does not mean your child can, particularly if they have high media exposure to violence. Because we can filter, we can self regulate what we watch and participate in. CHILDREN CAN’T !

“When parenting decreases, the need for policing increases” - Stephen Covey

Tears on the Highway DVD

Bullying

Statistics According to the National Association of School Psychologists, about 160,000 children in the United States miss school every day for fear of being bullied.

Statistics In Canada, Toronto's Board of Education has documented that in Grades 4 to 8, one child in five is victimized periodically, while one in 12 is bullied weekly or daily. Many people, not in the industry, are unaware that bullying often begins on the bus ride to and from school. Experts say that school buses generate a great opportunity for bullies.

Statistics ACCORDING TO THE BUREAU OF JUSTICE STATISTICS - School Crime and Safety: Teenagers say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings — 87% said shootings are motivated by a desire to "get back at those who have hurt them." — 86% said, "other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them" causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.

Statistics 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied. RECENT STATISTICS SHOW THAT: 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied.  The American Justice Department says that this month 1 out of every 4 kids will be abused by another youth. Surveys Show That  77%  of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically.

Statistics 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school. 100,000 students carry a gun to school. 28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home. A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools.

Statistics Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention - 4%. Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.

Statistics Both bullies and those on the receiving end of bullying were more likely to have difficulty adjusting to their environment both socially and psychologically. Students who were bullied reported having greater difficulty making friends and poorer relationships with their classmates. They were also much more likely than other students to report feelings of loneliness. "It's likely that kids who are socially isolated and have trouble making friends are more likely to be targets of bullying," Dr. Nansel said. "In turn, other kids may avoid children who are bullied, for fear of being bullied themselves."

So What is Bullying? 40

Bullying Researchers generally accept that bullying contains three essential elements: 1. The behavior is aggressive and negative. 2. The bully carries out the behavior repeatedly. 3. The behavior occurs in a relationship where there is an imbalance of power between the parties involved. 41

What is Cyber Bullying? In short, cyber bullying is "willful and repeated harm inflicted through the medium of electronic text.“ Cyber bullies are malicious aggressors who seek implicit or explicit pleasure or profit through the mistreatment of another individual. 42

Why do kids often behave inappropriately online? Because technology often provides 1) a perceived buffer from regular consequences and 2) a real buffer from traditional social cues, people will say and do things through technology that they would not do face-to-face. (The scientific term for this is "dis-inhibition.") If this is apparent with email, instant messaging, and text messaging on cell phones, it seems even more glaring on social networking sites.

What is a Bully A bully is an individual who torments others through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion. The behavior engaged in by bullies: bullying. In colloquial speech, "bullying" most often describes a form of harassment perpetrated by someone who is in some way more powerful, physically or socially, than a weaker peer. 44

Types of Bullying Verbal Sarcasm, persistent teasing, spreading rumors, name calling, harassment Physical Pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching, any form of violence and intimidation Emotional Humiliation, tormenting, threatening ridicule, exclusion from groups and activities Racist Taunts, jokes, gestures, graffiti Sexual Comments, physical contact, gestures, threats Other Theft, vandalism

Did You Know? By age 24, 60% of identified bullies have a criminal conviction. Children, repeatedly victimized, sometimes see suicide as their only escape. Bullying is one of the most underrated and enduring problems in schools today. Schools are a prime location for bullying. Bullies lose their popularity as they get older and eventually the majority of students come to dislike them. 46

Did You Know? Many adults do not know how to intervene in bullying situations; therefore, they often overlook bullying. On average, bullying episodes are brief, approximately 37 seconds long. The emotional scars from bullying can last a lifetime. 47

Did You Know? Bullying is broken into two categories: 1. Direct bullying. 2. Indirect bullying (also known as social aggression). 48

49

Did You Know? Direct bullying is the form most common to male bullies. Social aggression, or indirect bullying, is most common to female bullies and young children and characterized by forcing the victim into social isolation. Bullies achieve this isolation of their victims through a wide variety of techniques, which include: Spreading gossip. Refusing to socialize with the victims. 50

Did You Know? Bullying other people who wish to socialize with the victims. Criticizing the victim's manner of dress and other socially significant markers (including the victim's race, religion, disability, etc). Bullying can occur in situations including school or college/university, workplace, contact with neighbors, and between countries (see Jingoism). Whatever the situation, the power structure is typically evident between bully and victim. To those outside the conflict, it seems that the bully's power depends only upon the perception of the victim, with the victim being too intimidated to put up effective resistance. However, the victim usually has just cause to be afraid of the bully due to threats.

Examples Text messaging mean or harassing things about someone. Posting mean or harassing things about someone online, including videos. Crank calling someone or calling someone and hanging up on them Posting, texting or calling someone claiming to be someone else as a joke. 52

Violence Continuum Eye rolling Starting Rumors Gesturing Writing graffiti Threatening Name Calling Taunting / Name Calling Stealing Damaging Property Intimidation Shoving / Punching / Spitting Hitting / Kicking Flashing a weapon Stabbing someone Shooting someone Source: Kamaron Institute 2006 53

Reasons Reasons why some people bully people think it will make them popular or cool people think it makes them look tough people want to be in charge people want attention people want people to be afraid of them people are jealous of the person they are bullying people are being bullied themselves people don't understand that it is wrong 54

Reasons Reasons why some young people are bullied some people are bullied for no reason whatsoever because they are different in some way, their skin color, their size, their name, their nature, their intelligence because they look like they cannot stand up for themselves 55

Common Characteristics of Children Who Bully Impulsive, hot-headed, dominant; Easily frustrated; Lack empathy; Have difficulty following rules; and View violence in a positive way. Boys who bully tend to be physically stronger than other children. 56

Family Risk Factors for Bullying A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of parents; Overly permissive parenting (including a lack of limits for children's behavior); A lack of supervision by parents; Harsh, physical discipline; and Bullying incidences at home. 57

Why Students Do Not Intervene Fear Lack of strategies and skills Group dynamics Lack of understanding their role Status management 58

School Staff Response School staff is generally unaware of the extent of bullying and victimization problems. 42% of bullies and 46% of victims report that they have talked to teachers about problem. 71% of teachers and 25% of students say that teachers almost always intervene. Source: REPORT #60 APRIL 2000 Making a Difference in Bullying Debra J. Pepler & Wendy Craig 59

School Staff’s Involvement in Bullying and Victimization? Observations indicate that teachers intervene in 14% of classroom episodes and only 4% of playground episodes of bullying. Low staff intervention may occur because: - the majority of episodes are verbal - episodes are brief - bullying occurs when monitoring is low Source: REPORT #60 APRIL 2000 Making a Difference in Bullying Debra J. Pepler & Wendy Craig 60

Signs of Victimization Fear of going to school School work problems Missing possessions Injuries Withdrawal (quiet, sullen, daydreaming) Depressed Being difficult and argumentative (Message: Everyone is picking on me) Nightmare and disturbed 61

Principles Trust your instincts, if you think a child is being victimized they probably are Find a private opportunity to raise your concerns with the student Ensure safety of the victim Support the child who is being victimized Record the event and follow through with actions Inform the parents 62

Types of Victims Passive Victims Avoid aggression and confrontation Do not elicit help from peers Cry easily Will not fight back Are not assertive Are anxious in social situations 63

Types of Victims Aggressive Victims May behave in ways that may irritate others May tease and taunt others Lack social skills Tend to be aggressive Will often respond to others aggressively 64

Children who frequently bully their peers are more likely than others to Get into frequent fights; Be injured in a fight; Vandalize or steal property; Drink alcohol; Smoke; Be truant from school; Drop out of school; and Carry a weapon 65

Did You Know? It’s illegal to bully or harass someone in the State of Idaho? Particularly in a school. 66

18-917A. STUDENT HARASSMENT -- INTIMIDATION -- BULLYING 1) No student shall intentionally commit, or conspire to commit, an act of harassment, intimidation or bullying against another student. (2) As used in this section, "harassment, intimidation or bullying" means any intentional gesture, or any intentional written, verbal or physical act or threat by a student that: (a) A reasonable person under the circumstances should know will have the effect of: (i) Harming a student; or (ii) Damaging a student's property; or (iii) Placing a student in reasonable fear of harm to his or her person; or (iv) Placing a student in reasonable fear of damage to his or her property; or (b) Is sufficiently severe, persistent or pervasive that it creates an intimidating, threatening or abusive educational environment for a student. An act of harassment, intimidation or bullying may also be committed through the use of a land line, car phone or wireless telephone or through the use of data or computer software that is accessed through a computer, computer system, or computer network. (3) A student who personally violates any provision of this section may be guilty of an infraction. 67

Idaho Law 18-6710. USE OF TELEPHONE TO ANNOY, TERRIFY, THREATEN, INTIMIDATE, HARASS OR OFFEND BY LEWD OR PROFANE LANGUAGE, REQUESTS, SUGGESTIONS OR PROPOSALS -- THREATS OF PHYSICAL HARM -- DISTURBING THE PEACE BY REPEATED CALLS (1) Every person who, with intent to annoy, terrify, threaten, intimidate, harass or offend, telephones another and a) addresses to or about such person any obscene, lewd or profane language, or makes any request, suggestion or proposal which is obscene, lewd, lascivious or indecent; or (b) addresses to such other person any threat to inflict injury or physical harm to the person or property of the person addressed or any member of his family, or any other person; or 68

Idaho Law (c) by repeated anonymous or identified telephone calls whether or not conversation ensues, disturbs the peace or attempts to disturb the peace, quiet, or right of privacy of any person at the place where the telephone call or calls are received, is guilty of a misdemeanor and upon conviction thereof, shall be sentenced to a term of not to exceed one (1) year in the county jail. Upon a second or subsequent conviction, the defendant shall be guilty of a felony and shall be sentenced to a term of not to exceed five (5) years in the state penitentiary. (2) The use of obscene, lewd or profane language or the making of a threat or obscene proposal, or the making of repeated anonymous telephone calls as set forth in this section may be prima facie evidence of intent to annoy, terrify, threaten, intimidate, harass or offend. (3) For the purposes of this section, the term "telephone" shall mean any device which provides transmission of messages, signals, facsimiles, video images or other communication between persons who are physically separated from each other by means of telephone, telegraph, cable, wire or the projection of energy without physical connection. 69

Idaho Law 18-7906. STALKING IN THE SECOND DEGREE. (1) A person commits the crime of stalking in the second degree if the person knowingly and maliciously: (a) Engages in a course of conduct that seriously alarms, annoys or harasses the victim and is such as would cause a reasonable person substantial emotional distress; or (b) Engages in a course of conduct such as would cause a reasonable person to be in fear of death or physical injury, or in fear of the death or physical injury of a family or household member. (2) As used in this section: (a) "Course of conduct" means repeated acts of nonconsensual contact involving the victim or a family or household member of the victim, provided however, that constitutionally protected activity is not included within the meaning of this definition. 70

Remember, Bullying is a crime in Idaho. 71

How Do I effect Change? Attitudinal change precedes behavioral change The process of change is slow and gradual and needs constant nourishment and never ends. Often when you introduce an anti-bullying intervention and sensitize the school community to the problem, it appears to get worse. Remember denial / image concerns Paradigm Change 72

How Do I effect Change? Are you ready to fight the good fight? Why do you do what you do. How important is your role? “I long to accomplish a great deal and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble.” Helen Keller 73

Strategies to increase staff awareness Educate school staff about the definition of bullying, the nature of bullying, the secrecy surrounding bullying, children’s reluctance to report bullying Help staff to develop strategies to detect and intervene in bullying. Differentiate between rough-and-tumble play and bullying or teasing and bullying. Learn how to recognize power imbalance, which is sometimes subtle in bullying. 74

Responding to aggression Here are many possible responses, depending on the situation. - If equal power, then both parties receive equal consequence and opportunity for mediation to solve their dispute. - If unequal power, bullying, then bully receives formative consequences and victim receives supportive consequences. - When a group of children is involved, even as an audience, focus consequences on the group 75

Intervention Strategies Watch for Early Signs! Interventions for mild forms of bullying can be less intensive than those for fully developed problems. A clear direction about no teasing, no name-calling, or no exclusion may avoid later problems of verbal aggression, social aggression and harassment. Don’t Wait Until it’s Full Blown! Interventions when a problem starts to emerge are more effective than interventions applied once the behavior has become frequent and severe. 76

Intervention Strategies HESITATION What causes it Not using the 4 “P’s” Result Problem becomes worse You become ineffective You job is harder / more stressful Performance issues You no longer enjoy your work 77

Intervention Strategies Have you asked for; Guidance Support Help Training Assistance Reassignment It is equally your (driver) responsibility to report and document problems 78

Consequences and Responsibilities Consequences and responsibilities for aggressive behaviors must be immediate and consistently applied. Effective consequences and responsibilities are formative: they help develop behaviors, skills, insights, and empathy. Responsibilities with some form of retribution promote understanding of impact of bullying. Consequences and responsibilities must be delivered non-aggressively -- hostile adults inadvertently provide lessons on bullying. 79

Specific Interventions for Bullying 1. Record the problem behavior and provide consequences. 2. Educate the child about what bullying is and why it is not acceptable. 3. Withdraw privileges (recess, lunch) and provide formative replacement activities letter of apology reading and reporting on bullying story A caring act role playing victim with teacher to develop empathy 4. Determine ways in which this student can develop positive forms of leadership and experience power in a pro-social way. 5. Assess the complexity of the bully’s problem. 80

What if Interventions Do Not Work? If you haven’t contacted the student’s parents before this, now is the time to bring them in to help support the child. Carefully assess the parents’ abilities to be supportive. Children who bully repeatedly, seriously, and in different contexts, require a behavior management program developed in consultation with a mental health professional. Given the systemic nature of the problem (i.e., it isn’t just a problem with the child), the family may need help to support the student and to deal with bullying within the home context. 81

Principles and Strategies for Dealing with Parents Always contact parent or guardian and inform of problem Convey your concern Work together to gain understanding Be supportive Recognize differences in family / social values Use a problem solving approach Provide the district’s perspective and school plans for monitoring the problem Invite future communication and collaboration in supporting the children at risk. 82

Family Factors Related to Bullying Experience a number of family stressors (i.e., financial, single parent, illness) Family may lack social support High levels of parental conflict Lack of monitoring child’s activities Inconsistent and harsh punishment Low levels of communication and intimacy 83

Family Factors related to Victimization Overly protective parents Lack of independence in family Non assertive parents Family Stressors (e.g., divorce) Over involvement by parents 84

Challenges of Dealing with Parents of Bullies Encountering myths: Denial Not my child Children need to stand up for themselves Not a real problem 85

Challenges of Dealing with Parents of Bullies Listen and do not argue with parent State District’s position and goal of creating safe and caring environment Educate concerning why this may be a problem Problem solve how can work together for solutions Inform of District’s response and monitoring Be prepared not to change their perspective Don’t take it personally Set clear expectations and consequences of bullying Be prepared to follow though Follow through Never threaten 86

DENIAL What Can I Do? School Police Community Parents You have to recognize the bully’s greatest ally. DENIAL School Police Community Parents 87

Denial Bullies thrive on denial, and lack of awareness by school staff. The bully whose actions go unaddressed today may likely be involved more significant criminal activity in the near future. 88

Denial The condition that makes the school environment most ripe for bullying and lack of awareness.  We have to make sure that we respond immediately and appropriately to bullying and not focus on image concerns for our organizations.  If there is a problem, call it a problem and deal with it. The longer we deny, the more entrenched the problem becomes and in the end, the worse our image / and problem will be. 89

Denial Denial gets you twice Denial will Allow someone / something else to influence our children into negative behaviors (including the media) Prevent you from working with police, school officials and the community to help your own child Rescuing and / or enabling 90

Denial The longer we deny or even minimize the problem, the more entrenched it becomes resulting in tragedy. We have to fix the “Broken Windows”

What Denial? 92

Challenges of Dealing with Parents of Bullies Unsupportive to school’s concerns Aggressive and challenging Lack the personal resources to deal with problem Helpless Dismissive 93

Challenges of Interviewing Parents of Victims Heightened emotion Use active listening Anger Calming techniques Diffuse anger Frustration Try and understand Anxiety Need for Retribution / Revenge pound of flesh 94

Challenges of Interviewing Parents of Victims Sense of helplessness about the problem Empowerment through educational programs Referral MDT approach Wanting the school to do more reasonableness Dismissive Especially dangerous Possible H & W referral (failure to protect) 95

Responses to Challenging Parents of Victim Acknowledge parents concerns and worries Healthy to advocate for child Inform them of what the consequences were for the bully Within district policies (FERPA) Educate concerning the importance of making amends and having formative consequences Participate in own healing 96

Responses to Challenging Parents of Victim Indicate measures taken to support and protect their child Careful with release of information Ask for their input Partnership Don’t make promises Offer to update parents the following week Reasonable and prudent Educate on effects and how parents can help 97

P.O.W.E.R

P.O.W.E.R. P.O.W.E.R. is an acronym, in other words it’s a word formed by the first letter of a series of word. For example, WAC stands for Western Athletic Conference

P.O.W.E.R. The acronym P.O.W.E.R. is designed to help you remember that YOU have the power to help stop bullying whether you are the bully, the person being bullied or are just bystander or someone who knows that bullying is going on

“P” “P” stands for PRIDE. You have to have pride in yourself! This is the first tool we’ll talk about. Being proud of yourself and of who you are is the first step to not participate in or tolerate bullying.

“O” “O” stands for “OPEN MINDEDNESS”. You have to be open minded and accepting of others. Being accepting of others makes it easier for others to accept you. As an adult, is this the message you convey to your students? ARE YOU OPEN MINDED?

“W” “W” is for WILLPOWER. Do you have the willpower to not follow the crowd or be influenced by predispositions? Do you have the willpower to be nice to someone who your friends may want to make fun of or tease? Do you have the will power to say no thanks to your friends who want to engage in negative behaviors? Do you have the willpower to not passively participate in bullying? (including observation with no action)

“E” “E” stands for EMPATHY. Empathy is the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes. How does what is happening to someone else make you feel? WHY IS IT IMPORTATNT TO PUT YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES?

“R” “R” stands for RESPECT. What is respect to you? Why is it important? Respect is treating others as well as you would like to be treated. Respect is understanding and acknowledging the rights of someone else to have their beliefs. Respect, you have to give it to get it! That includes adults! (modeling)

H.E.R.O.

H.E.R.O. H.E.R.O. is also an acronym, in other words it’s a word formed by the first letter of a series of word. The acronym H.E.R.O. is designed to help you remember that YOU can be a HERO to someone by taking a stand and making the decision not to tolerate bullying.

“H” “H” stands for HELP. Don’t be afraid to help someone. Make a decision and take a stand!

“E” “E” Stands for Everyone Don’t compartmentalize your help. Be willing to help anyone

“R” & “O” “R” & “O” stands for REGARDLESS OF Be willing to help regardless of your own prejudices, preconceptions, assumptions, etc. Race, color, creed, gender, religion, nationality, etc.

H.E.R.O. HELP EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF __________________ (fill in)

H.E.R.O. Use your P.O.W.E.R. and be a H.E.R.O. __________

Conflict Resolution

Basic Tenets for Empowerment of Students It is easier to awaken empathy and reduce tolerance of bullying among the silent majority than it is to change the behavior of individual. Aggressive students are more likely to respond to peer censure than to adult censure. Therefore, by working with a group of students to help them understand the dynamics of power, the abuse of power, the experience of victimization, and the strategies for positive power, significant change can occur within student peer groups. It can be done with all the students in a class or bus or with a specific group of students, depending on situation. 116

Strategies for Staff Communicate a respectful attitude, rather than a punitive or blaming one. Create a working alliance with students to engage them productively. Communicate an accepting and non judgmental attitude about personal worth of all the students (POWER) and not condone bullying behavior. 117

STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT Define the conflict. If defined objectively, rather than subjectively, which is how most of us do it, conflict means only this: We need a new way of doing things, the old way has failed. If two sides can define what they are fighting about, the chances increase that misperceptions will he clarified. It is not you against me; it is you and me against the problem. The problem is the problem. In a battle, even if one side does win, the first reaction of the loser is, I want a rematch: I will come back with meaner words, harder fists and bigger bombs. Then the enemy will learn, then they will be good and then we will have peace forever. This is an illusion, hut few can give it up. By focusing on the problem, and not the person with the problem, a climate of cooperation, not competition, is enhanced. List the relationship's many shared concerns and needs, as against one shared separation. In Ernest Hemingway's novel, "A farewell to Arms," a character is described in a hauntingly beautiful phrase, "He was strong in the broken places." All of us have been, are being or will be broken by life. If we are strong in the broken places, chances for mending increase. They will increase if the strengths of the relationship -- the shared concerns and needs -- are given more attention than the lone unshared separation.

STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT When people have fought, do not ask what happened. This is an irrelevant question. They will answer with their version of what happened, almost always self-justifying. The better question is, "What did you do?" This elicits facts, not opinions. Misperceptions are clarified, not prolonged. Work on active listening, not passive hearing. Conflicts escalate when partners try to talk more than listen and then only listen as a time-out for verbal rearming. Listening well is an act of caring. If you are a good listener, you have many friends. If you are a poor listener, you have many acquaintances. Choose a place to resolve the conflict, not the battleground itself. Armies tend to sign peace treaties far from war zones. Too many emotions are there. In some schools around the country, peace rooms are in place. Anyone who was fighting -- in the schoolyard, the halls, the bus -- automatically knows to go to the peace room at the time set. Who will be there? Mediators: classmates who have been trained in nonviolent conflict resolution. Principals and psychologists in schools that have peace rooms see the results in lower rates of violence.

STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT Start with what's doable. Restoration of peace cannot be done quickly. If it took a long time for the dispute to begin, it will take time to end it. Work, on one small doable rather than many large undoables. Almost always, it is a laughably small wound that causes the first hurt in relationship. But then, ignoring the smallness lakes on a size of its own. Ignoring the problem becomes larger than the original problem. Develop forgiveness skills. Many people of large minds are willing to say after the conflict, "I'm going to bury the hatchet." To themselves, they - add: "But I'm going to mark exactly where I bury it, just in case I need to dig it up for the next fight." Forgiveness looks forward, vengeance looks backward. Again, it's anatomy: we have eyes in the front of our heads, not the back. Purify our hearts. This is merely an elegant way of telling ourselves, "I need to get my own messy life in order before I can instruct others how to live." Do these nine steps of nonviolent conflict resolution always work? No. Sometimes the conflict partners are so emotionally wounded or ideologically hidebound, that nothing con stop the violence. But large numbers of conflicts can be resolved without killing or wounding the other side, provided the strategies for peacemaking are known. source: Peaceful Conflict Resolution is Teachable nine steps provide the key to resolving disputes peacefully -Colman McCarthy

Positive Presence

Use of force continuum Presence (using the effect of the presence of an authority figure on a subject) Verbalization (commanding a subject) Empty hand control (using empty hands to search, relieve weapons, immobilize, or otherwise control a subject) Intermediate weapons (using non-lethal chemical, electronic or impact weapons on a subject) Deadly Force (using any force likely to cause permanent injury or death to a subject)

use of force The term use of force refers to the right of an individual or authority to settle conflicts or prevent certain actions by applying measures to either: a) dissuade another party from a particular course of action, or b) physically intervene to stop them.

The reasonable person standard In general, the law imposes a duty on everyone to behave at least as carefully as a reasonable, ordinary, prudent person in the same or similar situation.  This is known as the reasonable person standard.  If a court establishes that the defendant acted reasonably, even though his or her actions caused the injury to another, the defendant is not negligent and not liable for damages.  Children and the mentally disabled are typically held to a lower standard than adults; professionals, such as doctors and attorneys, are held to a higher standard

Use of force A. Perceptions: As previously outlined, the first step in the PEDA model involves the driver’s perceptions. Another way of describing this step is by reference to the subject's actions. The driver observes these actions and this basic information becomes "input" to the following steps. In some agencies, this is the first step in the "threat assessment" process. Just as the driver has a range of actions open to him/her, so does the subject of the encounter. It is also possible to consider those actions as part of a "resistance" or "threat continuum". For example, subjects may exhibit any or all of the following behaviors: Intimidation (hard stares) Non-compliance/Passive Resistance Defensive actions (run, push, shove) Active aggression (actions to harm the driver) Aggravated aggression (use of a weapon) Observations of the subject's actions and the ability to articulate each perception is an important part of an driver’s explanation if he/she is called upon to explain a particular use of force.

Use of Force B. Evaluation. The evaluation phase of the encounter requires the driver to consider three important elements regarding the subject: ability, opportunity, and jeopardy. For each element, there are indicators useful to the driver’s evaluation: 1: Ability: did the subject have the means to do bodily harm to another person?  Indicators are: age, size, weapon(s), mental status, drug or alcohol use, threatening gestures, known prior history, apparent skill level. 2: Opportunity:  Did the subject have the opportunity to seriously injure or kill the driver or another person? Some indicators are: positioning, timing, proximity, action. 3: Jeopardy:  Did the subject's action expose the driver to a perceived danger or was there a reasonable perception that the person would seriously injure or kill the driver or other persons?  Indicators include: imminent harm, fear of death or bodily injury.

Use of Force Once the driver has "collected" the facts (through perception) and evaluated the situation, he/she must move to a decision. At this point, it is useful to revue an driver’s obligations or priorities in making the decision to act: 1st priority -- To protect all innocent students in your care. 2nd priority -- To protect yourself and fellow drivers. 3rd priority -- To protect the subject student. Given these priorities, the driver decides on a course of action that: 1: Selects the level of force that is reasonable and apparently necessary at the moment it is used. 2: Is based on the totality of circumstances. 3: Responds to the perceived levels of resistance.

Use of force in Self Defense 1) An person may use only the degree of force which is reasonably necessary to protect him / herself.

Decision Risk Factors When we face a situation involving a possible use of force, we must recognize the factors that could effect performance in facing this complex and difficult task. Understanding the forces of stress and inner conflict that can effect performance in the encounter is essential to mastering this situation. Some of the most common sources of stress and conflict in this type of performance environment include: 1: Long term stress: divorce, ill child. 2: Short term stress: last call for service, hunger. 3: Anger: created by loss of control or loss of self esteem> 4: Fear: created by real or exaggerated threats. 5: Prior mind-sets: racial, gender, political, economic. 6: Health considerations: weight, blood pressure, etc. Each of these "risk factors" present unique issues which may have a profound impact but are hard to recognize. Stress can be incremental and often unobserved. Also the combination of small hassles with a spouse, child or supervisor can raise stress levels. Anger can be targeted at others who are not the source of anger. Fear is often a hidden dimension. Fear of injury, humiliation or generalized danger may be directed at types of persons, neighborhoods or situations. Mind-sets about fear or danger can change one's perception of a situation. Believing that a particular housing area is dangerous may influence the approach that an officer takes toward the encounter. Health concerns may effect body positioning, gait, mobility, and sense of competence.

Decision Risk Factors Recognizing these risk factors and learning to control oneself are important components in any approach to a possible use of force encounter. What will help you subdue these performance inhibitors is your ability to deal with a force encounter and your rapid response to correcting these inhibiting factors. Specific steps include your ability to: 1: Recognize and control your emotions prior to being able to control others: 2: Balance your mind and body while anticipating your approach to the encounter: 3: Avoid impulsive words or trigger terms: 4: Reaffirm your sense of dignity in approaching the situation: 5: Have a realistic sense of what one may encounter; verbal abuse, oppositional behavior, blood, etc: 6: Avoid the need to be right. Focus on resolving the encounter rather than affirming your authority or sense of false honor: 7: Avoid tunnel vision caused by anger, loss of control or esteem:

Assault 18-901. ASSAULT DEFINED. An assault is: (a) An unlawful attempt, coupled with apparent ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another; or (b) An intentional, unlawful threat by word or act to do violence to the person of another, coupled with an apparent ability to do so, and doing some act which creates a well-founded fear in such other person that such violence is imminent.

Battery 18-903. BATTERY DEFINED. A battery is any: a) Willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another; or (b) Actual, intentional and unlawful touching or striking of another person against the will of the other; or (c) Unlawfully and intentionally causing bodily harm to an individual.

ABUSE OF SCHOOL TEACHERS Every parent, guardian or other person who upbraids, insults or abuses any teacher of the public schools, in the presence and hearing of a pupil thereof, is guilty of a misdemeanor.

AGGRAVATED ASSAULT 18-905. AGGRAVATED ASSAULT DEFINED. An aggravated assault is an assault: (a) With a deadly weapon or instrument without intent to kill; or (b) By any means or force likely to produce great bodily harm.[; or] (c) With any vitriol, corrosive acid, or a caustic chemical of any kind. (d) "Deadly weapon or instrument" as used in this chapter is defined to include any firearm, though unloaded or so defective that it can not be fired.

AGGRAVATED BATTERY 18-907. AGGRAVATED BATTERY DEFINED. (1) A person commits aggravated battery who, in committing battery: (a) Causes great bodily harm, permanent disability or permanent disfigurement; or (b) Uses a deadly weapon or instrument; or (c) Uses any vitriol, corrosive acid, or a caustic chemical of any nature; or (d) Uses any poison or other noxious or destructive substance or liquid; or

Positive Presence Who is in charge of your bus or busses? Do your students agree with you? What about your supervisors & Coworkers? What about the teachers and administrators you work with? What about your student’s parents?

Positive Presence Plainly explained, positive presence is the first level of control or force. Your positive presence is what can determine the outcome of a given incident Your positive presence can prevent a given incident

Positive Presence Appearance Do you look the part? Look the part, dress professional. Look like you know what you are doing. Professional yet approachable. Do you look the part?

Positive Presence BODY LANGUAGE Walk with your head up, eyes alert and expression intent. You do not want to appear weak or vulnerable. You want to project the image of someone who knows why they are where they are and who is trained and knows what they are doing and competent. Walk with intent. Move like you know where you are going and that you have a purpose in going there. You need to portray an “I am confident and know what I am doing in this situation" image.  The key is to be outwardly confident - even if on the inside you are scared out of your wits. You want your body language to convey confidence. Do you carry yourself with confidence?

Positive Presence SPEECH How you speak, really sets the tone as to how your encounter will go. If you do not have a “positive presence” in your voice and speech, your chances for a successful outcome are greatly diminished.

Positive Presence SPEECH (continued) Voice Control Calm Confident Reassuring voice Example: Air traffic controller / Pilot Respectful communication Golden rule You must give to receive Would you be comfortable saying that on the 6 o’clock news What would grandma think? There is more than one way to say “Yes Sir” or “yes mam”

Positive Presence SPEECH (continued) Which voice are you using? Child Defensive Victimized Emotional Whiny Losing attitude Strongly negative non-verbal Parent Authoritative Directive Judgmental Evaluative A win-lose mentality No win-win Demanding Punitive Sometimes threatening Adult Non-judgmental Free of negative non verbal Factual Often in question format Win-win attitude

Positive Presence WHAT DO PEOPLE SEE YOU DOING? If someone was watching you, what would they think? Do you walk around with your hands in your pockets? Do you avoid eye contact? Do you look at the ground all the time? Do you look bored and inattentive? Do people think you care about what you do? Do you carry yourself with confidence? Do you look, act and speak the part.

Higley 911 School Bus Call: "Our Bus Driver's Insane" February 26th, 2008 @ 7:56am by KTAR Newsroom "Our bus driver's insane," a student tells a 911 dispatcher as he reports a brawl on a school bus in the Higley Unified School District on Feb. 15. The tape, released by Gilbert police on Tuesday, shows the student continued, "She (the driver) just got in a fist fight. The kid is bleeding, she just got her hair ripped out." The caller also said, "She's bawling. I'm pretty sure there were some fists thrown." The police report said the fight involved Samantha Taylor, 15, a student at Williams Field High School, and the bus driver, Kim Sullivan, 54. Police have recommended that both Taylor and Sullivan be charged with aggravated assault and disorderly conduct. They also want two other girls who were on the bus charged with disorderly conduct. The fight began when Sullivan refused to let Taylor get off the bus after she scolded her for being too loud, police said. Taylor called her mother from her cell phone and handed the phone to Sullivan to have her speak with her mother, the report said. The driver reportedly turned off the phone and threw it to the floor. The report adds that after the fight, Sullivan would not let any students off the bus and that they got out through the emergency exit while Taylor's mother was banging on the bus. The whole incident was captured on surveillance tape, which showed Taylor screaming, "Drive this bus," and Sullivan responding, "You are crazy." Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas will decide whether charges will be filed.

Teen Charged In School Bus Brawl Driver Does Not Face Prosecution, County Attorney Says POSTED: 5:16 pm MST March 31, 2008 UPDATED: 7:44 am MST April 1, 2008 PHOENIX -- A Gilbert teenager has been charged with one count of disorderly conduct after fighting with a Higley Unified School District bus driver on Feb. 15. Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas said he decided not to prosecute the bus driver because she was well within her right to restrain the student. The teen, 15-year-old Samantha Taylor, a student at Williams Field High School, faces a maximum of six months in juvenile detention. Taylor's mother had claimed the driver instigated the fight.

Teen Charged In School Bus Brawl "From the very beginning at the school, this bus driver was just unhooked," Paula Bigler said shortly after the incident occurred. Bigler blamed Kim Sullivan, 54, for the scuffle caught on tape with her daughter. "Oh, I would say the bus driver is the instigator," Bigler told CBS 5 News. The incident made national headlines when bus video captured Sullivan in the brawl involving three students. "I should have sat back down and sucked it up and acted more mature about it," Taylor said. "I was really immature."

WINNING MINDSET

WINNING MINDSET Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. Albert Einstein

WINNING MINDSET What is a winning mindset and what does it have to do with me? The winning mindset is simply preparing yourself physically, mentally and spiritually to survive and prevail not only traumatic events but every day situations that occur.

WINNING MINDSET How do we accomplish this? We have to address the three components of a winning mindset.

WINNING MINDSET Physical Be rested Get some exercise Illness Stress relief Overall health Illness Honest self assessment Call in sick

WINNING MINDSET Mental Clear the clutter Distractions Deal with problems immediately Visualization Not WHAT IF? But WHAT WILL I do WHEN? Always visualize winning or prevailing Mentally rehearse being successful Mentally rehearse successful confrontations / conflicts with students

WINNING MINDSET Professional Knowledge (discussion) Hesitation Know your student population Know your area Problems Special needs Put on your mental armor. Bullet proof you mind if you will. Get distractions out of your head Telephone calls Conflicts Things you cannot control while you are at work Deal with problems immediately (attend to the now) Why? (So they don’t clog the thinking process)

WINNING MINDSET Spiritual Pre-Game Preparation Not necessarily applicable to everyone Not based in any particular faith Helps you deal with moral and ethical choices you must make every day Pre-Game Preparation Put me in coach, I’m ready! (Discussion)

WINNING MINDSET Much strategy prevails over little strategy, so those with no strategy, cannot but be defeated. Therefore it is said that victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win. Sun-Tzu The Art of War Chapter 1 “On assessments”

WINNING MINDSET Mustang Mindset How many of you believe you are a warrior? What does that mean to you? What is a Warrior? Warrior in its literal definition means... One engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity or cause.

WINNING MINDSET Attitude / Leadership Attitude is a choice Progression / Regression of attitude People can be divided into three groups

ATTITUDE Personal life outside of work Unresolved conflicts Relationships Finances Obligations and commitments Perspective, Do you have it? Do you really appreciate what it is you do for the community? We already know everyone else doesn’t, but do you? Personal feelings based on sex (gender) and race Can you separate your personal beliefs and be a professional

ATTITUDE Examine your attitudes Class discussion Progression / Regression of Attitude How does your attitude affect your performance? How does your attitude affect others? Choosing your attitude skills

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES By LTC (RET) Dave Grossman, RANGER, Ph.D., author of “stop teaching our kids to kill."

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep. I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful? For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES "Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES "Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids' schools.

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

ON SHEEP, SHEEPDOGS, AND WOLVES This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the- sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other.

WINNING MINDSET How do you handle interaction with this person? Inactive May be former leader May be unmotivated, uncaring, frustrated or burned out Thinks only of self There is no I in team but there is a “me” Most dangerous to new employees Negative influence How do you handle interaction with this person?

WINNING MINDSET Reactive Still enforces rules and regulations Does what is required Waits for problem to become significant before taking action Inconsistent Will tout team concept as long as he/she benefits

WINNING MINDSET Proactive Open minded Make things happen Thinks in terms of a team Support and resource for others Problem Solver Part of the solution Open minded Takes action Possesses natural Leadership

WINNING MINDSET Which group do you see yourself in? What group do your peers see you in? Which group would your students see you in? Which group would your parents see you in?

Closing Thoughts THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO! Be Safe Be Well Remember how important what you do is. Remember attitude is your choice. Choose to be a sheepdog. AND FINALLY; THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO!

Questions & Answers Thank You! Rob Fowler Ada County Sheriff’s Office rfowler@adaweb.net