To be your best…

Think of situations that have been uncomfortable for you or for others  Was it awkward?  Was it stressful?  Were expectations unclear? Strong ethics help you understand your values and know yourself Basic etiquette will make you more self-assured so that you can be prepared You will gain confidence as you learn how to act and react

Cheating in the public schools and colleges continues to rise Corporations value their executives (salaries and bonuses) more than customers or the environment Doctors continue to provide better care and treatment options to those who have insurance or can afford to pay Major political parties spinning nearly everything to make a story and skew opinions

The rules by which one conducts him- or herself It’s what you believe It’s how you react when your beliefs are challenged Ethics are constructed over time from  Your parents  Your culture  Your religion  Your education  Your friends Ethics are your measuring stick for right and wrong

Changing values Changing expectations Changing attitudes Difference in opinion of what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”

Is your goal to achieve? 1.Popularity 2.Knowledge 3.Fame 4.Integrity 5.Wealth

If your highest aspiration is anything but integrity, you will make compromises to get there. Integrity is defined as:  “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty” – Dictionary.com  “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values” – Merriam Webster

Know your values Know your beliefs Know where your boundaries are Know where your line is between right and wrong Ask yourself what you are willing to accept and still be able to maintain your integrity.

On etiquette, of course…

Tell him or her where to sit Offer him or her your seat Tell him or her to sit any where Say nothing about where to sit Tell him or her where to sit

Sit in the chair nearest the door Sit in the chair nearest the other person Ask where to sit Remain standing until told where to sit

Immediately As soon as he or she returns eye contact When introduced As the other person initiates the handshake When introduced

Be quiet and hope the person forgot as well Send flowers immediately Call and apologize Send a handwritten note of apology Call and apologize

The one to whom you are speaking Each person moving in a rapid clockwise direction No one in particular Each person looking directly at each one

Skip the person and move on Apologize and ask the person his or her name Make a joke about never remembering names Use a generic name hoping you will be corrected Apologize and ask the person his or her name

State the correction loudly Casually mention the correction and then drop it Ignore the error Make a joke about it Casually mention the correction and then drop it

For proper etiquette…

Greeting Dressing Communicating Being Honest

For both friends and soon to be friends…

By Mohandas Gandhi

Rise (if possible) if you are seated Make eye contact Say hello or give a greeting Introduce yourself (if not being introduced) Smile Initiate or receive a handshake (If you know the person is involved with Phi Theta Kappa, a hug is appropriate; if they are not, do NOT hug) Remember that everyone (even clerical and custodial employees) is important—treat with respect

Your hand should be dry Grip the hand palm to palm Use a firm grip, but not too firm Maintain eye contact (in U.S. culture) Maintain the handshake for 3-4 seconds Do not “pump” the hand Say something

Say the name of the “power” people first— introduce them to others President Smith, may I introduce Tom Jones, our vice president of relations. President Smith has been our college president for seven years. Introduce younger people to older people Make introductions while standing (unless seated at a table and presentations have begun) Use first names only if given permission Say something about the people to facilitate discussion

Use formal names titles, especially with higher ranking and older people If you forgot a name, be straightforward and say something such as, “Your name was on the tip of my tongue a minute ago, please help me out.” Never assume to use someone’s first name. Wait for permission, such as, “Please call me Ruth.”

Remember they are not seeds—do not give them out at random Your card should be clean and in good condition Hand the card to the receiver face up so it can be read by him or her Hold the card by one of the top corners (by both top corners if presenting to people from Asia) Allow the receiver time to look at the card

Take the card as it was presented (with one or two hands) and grasp it at the bottom corner(s) Take a few moments to look at the card, especially the name and title Make a positive comment about the card Place the card in a card case, front pocket, or portfolio pocket (never in your back pocket) Accept the card whether you want it or not Never fold the card Never write on the card

For the proper impression…

By Buck Rodgers, Author of The IBM Way

Your body language  Posture  Eye contact  Facial expression—A smile perhaps Your appearance  Clean, pressed clothing  Polished and professional Your words

Sophistication Confidence Social Status Ethical Trustworthy Successful Educated Healthy Awareness (of yourself and others)

Practice what you might say Consider what your audience would like to hear  Say something from the other perspective  From their perspective (not yours) will leave a lasting impact Be prepared with small talk subjects to discuss Be comfortable giving and receiving compliments

Neat hair and facial hair Clean fingernails No visible tattoos or body jewelry Light or no perfume or cologne Limited jewelry Stockings without runs and teams Good, clean, closed-toe shoes Belts on pants Socks that coordinate

Represent yourself and your organization  Conservative  Consistent  Respectful  Impressive Follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of your outfit traditional and have fun with 20% (accessorize) Consider how your outfit will change throughout the work day

Visible bra straps and panty lines Low-rise and high-waisted jeans Socks with sandals Shoes you cannot walk in Clothes that do not fit Not dressing age-appropriately Muffin tops Dressing monochromatic Sneakers and flip flops Short shorts or baggy shorts

Be positive at ALL times Overcome biases and stereotypes Focus on successes, no matter how small Expect the unexpected Do NOT gossip Realize:  You are what you think  You have an impact on ALL around you

To assess your attitude…

Number your paper from 1-10 Answer each question as below: Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

1. In uncertain times, I would expect the best results Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

2. It is easy for me to relax Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

3. If something can go wrong with me, it probably will Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

4. I am always optimistic about my future Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

5. I really enjoy my friends Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

6. It is important for me to keep busy Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

7. I hardly ever expect things to go my way Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

8. I do not get upset very easily Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

9. I rarely count on good things happening to me Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

10. Overall, I expect more good things to happen to me than bad Strongly DisagreeDisagreeNeutralAgree Strongly Agree 01234

Cross out questions 2, 5, 6, and 8 as they have nothing to do with this assessment. Reverse your ratings for questions 3, 7, and 9 (0=4, 1=3, 2=2, 3=1, 4=0). Add up your rating responses.

0-4 No news is good new—there is no good news for you. Stop reading the news. Go buy some good books. 4-8 Every cloud has a silver lining, but you have a silver lightning bolt that you keep dodging. You need to get out of the rain Your glass is perpetually half empty. Stay near people with faucets You tend to be optimistic. No matter how much you sip, your glass is always half full. Satisfy your thirst and drink deeply The harder you work, the luckier you get. Get busy and reap rewards! Momentum compels you forward, and it motivates those around you. Always remember to look both ways before crossing the street. From The Two Minute Assessment by John Mehrmann (

For best results…

By Adlai Stevenson II, politician

The person introducing you should have given you a shared interest or topic, so use it Some safe topics:  Weather  Travel, if the person traveled a distance  Humorous items in the news Some unsafe topics:  Yourself and your achievement  Politics  Religion

Think about someone who does not listen to you  How would you describe the person’s actions  How do you know he or she is NOT listening  How does it make you feel Think about someone you know listens to you  How would you describe the person’s actions  How do you know he or she is listening  How does it make you feel

Pay attention  Look at the speaker  Observe the speaker’s body language  Develop rapport  Be mindful of your body language Ask questions for clarity Listen for the meaning or intention Develop empathy Do not judge—be objective (it’s not about you) Respond appropriately

What is the purpose What is the best method of communication What is the best time and place to communicate How will the receiver react What outcomes or expectations are there

Introduce yourself and the purpose of your call Always be respectful of time, ask if it is a good time to talk or when is a good time Be organized with your call—make and outline and notes before calling Avoid distracting noises in the background Never place someone on hold without asking Return calls as quickly as possible Make notes about the call, but do not be distracted

Speak clearly Sound positive and upbeat Speak somewhat slowly Identify yourself and your phone number Be brief and to the point—similar to bullets State any expectations and when you might follow up with the person Leave your name and number again

Always reply to messages Use a good subject line Do NOT use emoticons or text-speak Keep it short Watch out for reply to ALL

Must be neat and professional Use readable fonts and spacing Keep it short Use bullets as necessary Have an introduction and conclusion Identify expectations and deadlines

With yourself and others…

By Woodrow Wilson, 28th American president ( )

Never appear to be “Too Busy” for people  Mingle—share the love  Greet friends as well as strangers Never be “Monopolized” by people  After a few minutes of conversation, politely excuse yourself and move to someone else  Listen, but keep it short  (Help each other out by watching for this) Do not be the first in line for food Wear good quality shoes so you can walk

Remember the 80/20 rule—listen 80%/talk 20% Be aware of your body language Watch your facial expressions Use people’s names (they like that) Always say “Please” and “Thank You” Never forget:  You are there to serve and assist  You are NOT there to be served

Remain calm and cool Empathize with those involved Accept responsibility (or partial responsibility) if it will help the situation Review alternatives Create an action plan Take action Review progress at a later time

Apologize immediately (The longer you wait, the worse it gets) Look and act as though you mean it Talk to the person directly (If necessary, send a handwritten card and gift) Ask for forgiveness Never make excuses Try to make amends

By Ani Difranco, American Singer and Songwriter

Just for fun…

A young man holds the door for an older woman A young woman holds the door for an older man Whoever goes in first Never hold the door, this is old-fashioned A young man holds the door for an older woman A young woman holds the door for an older man Whoever goes in first

On the floor Hanging over the back or arm of the chair On the table to the right of the plate On your lap or between your lap and the chair

As you normally would If it is expensive, wear more to impress others Sparingly None Sparingly

To the speaker’s right To the speaker’s left Directly in the middle Never To the speaker’s right. State and organization flags are on the speaker’s left

The host The visitor It does not matter It depends It depends. If there is a doorman, the visitor goes first. If the door is stopped, the host goes first, pushes, and greets visitor on other side.

Your left side of the chest Your right side of the chest Either is fine Your right side During a hand shake the other person’s eyes follow your right arm. (Strangely, most people wear theirs on the left.)

France Germany Japan Brazil Russia All of them It is the best known gesture in America. In France it means zero, worthless. In Japan it means money, and in the other three it is a signal of a private bodily orifice

In private only In the public bathroom Before going indoors or outside At the table At your desk In a meeting In private and in the bathroom, in private

Make sure your cell is fully charged and the ringer is on Turn the ringer to vibrate Turn your cell off Inform those attending that you are expecting a call Turn your cell off