COMMON TIMED WRITING MISTAKES 11/11 – 11/12

Scoring On the back of your rubric you will see this: W: C: The ‘W’ stands for writing score, which is based on the front of the rubric. The ‘C’ stands for conventions score, which is based on the back of the rubric Your overall score is based more heavily on your W score You will see your final rubric score next to “>” Look at the corresponding percentage score, then write this number on the front of your rubric next to “Score:”

No Knows Organization: Thesis should identify two perspectives (prompt asks what her changing perspectives are) Topic Sentence #1 should identify FIRST perspective only. All three chunks in body paragraph 1 should be about FIRST perspective only. If you include her changed perspective in the first paragraph, what would you have left to write about in the second paragraph?

Topic sentence cont’ Topic sentences should state the focus of the paragraph.  They should not only be plot-based, but should also be idea-based. You are informing your reader of the idea/concept that paragraph will focus on, which for this timed writing should have been her initial perspective. Let’s look at a model…

Topic sentence cont’ The concept this paragraph will focus on is bolded: One of the first scenes of the novel involves the protagonists, Jake and Brett, taking a ride in a taxi, a scene that will be echoed at the end of the novel, but whose voice will ultimately evolve away from the one of longing desperation that is present in the beginning of the book, due to Jake and Brett’s delusional desire to be together.

Device Identification Remember, part of elaboration is identifying the device you’ll be analyzing.  Many of you wove your details and started talking about connotation, but never told your reader you were analyzing diction/imagery/etc. Look at an example from the model of how to do this: As they watch the streets of Paris roll by outside the car window, the visual imagery works to set the tone for what is no doubt a doomed relationship…

Device Analysis If your prompt is asking you to analyze the elements of voice or any other device, then your analysis must be on that device or element  Some of you simply interpreted the literal meaning of quotes, but didn’t actually analyze devices. Elements of voice:  Imagery (includes figurative language (simile, metaphor, etc))  Diction  Details  Syntax  Tone

Tense/POV All analysis of fiction must be in present tense, 3 rd person, including quotations. Remember to use brackets to change the tense in quotes: Jenny walks down the road and “saw the trees changing” should become Jenny walks down the road and “[sees] the trees changing” Major points will be deducted if this is not fixed this in the revision.

Unclear pronouns Pronoun- a word (such as I, he, she, you, it, we, or they ) that is used instead of a noun or noun phrase Antecedent- a word or phrase that is represented by another word (such as a pronoun) She=pronounMrs. Mallard=antecedent for “she”  If you haven’t already stated the antecedent, you should not use a pronoun because your reader won’t know who she/he/it is. But the most pervasive pronoun without an antecedent used is……“it” “it” is very rarely acceptable unless used in the same sentence as the antecedent, and usually if used right after the antecedent. Always just state what you mean when you use “it”

Unclear pronouns Even quotes need antecedents for clarity sometimes. You can use brackets for this as well: The speaker is “drowning in it” as she opens the letter The speaker is “drowning in [sorrow]” as she opens the letter In the text the above example is taken from, the author used the noun “sorrow” before she used the word “it.” Since that part of the text isn’t in my quote, I can replace the pronoun “it” with “sorrow” in brackets, which indicates I have made a change, but I am still using the author’s own words.

The dreaded “This” Do not use “This” to start a sentence, unless the word is followed by a noun. So, the following would be a no-no: This shows that Mrs. Mallard is…This conveys to the reader that… Instead, restate what you mean: The word choice “haunted” conveys to the reader that…

Diction, diction, diction Do not use this phrase at the start of a sentence: This diction shows…The diction used shows… Usually, you are analyzing more than one word at a time for diction, so you need to be specific about which word/words you are going to analyze first. Repeat the quoted words with your commentary. The choice of “haunted” creates the sense that… Remember, when you analyze diction, you should talk about what the word connotes or denotes/the sense created by the word. ***REFER TO THE FLOWCHARTS IN YOUR RESOURCE PACKET!!!

Text-based Analysis All of your analysis must be based on the text in its proper context. You have to be able to prove your inferences with real paraphrasing and real quotes, not just phrases or words you’ve taken out of context. When you do that, you are putting words in the author’s mouth, which is not okay. So, “patches of blue sky” cannot be taken out of context to fit your analysis that she is suddenly “joyful”—do not forget the tool of juxtaposition when what is being described seems very different from what you know a character is thinking or feeling.

Marker Verbs Replace the verb “shows” and general oatmeal verbs as much as possible. Refer to the “Marker Verbs” sheet in your resource packet for help with this I will be checking closely that you’ve replaced “shows” and other weak verbs in the revision

Misreadings Text says, “She did not hear the story as many women have heard the same, with a paralyzed inability to accept its significance. She wept at once, with sudden, wild abandonment, in her sister’s arms” Text says she does NOT have a paralyzed inability to accept its significance In this context, “abandonment” does not mean she is abandoned and alone, it means she wept “without restraint” This is a prime example of how you cannot take a detail out of its context to serve your analysis needs. Find what is actually there and write about that. Be sure to read the text, especially the text you quote, very carefully.

Misreadings Clarification: at the end, her husband doesn’t come back from the dead, she is not already dead when she sees him, and she doesn’t grieve so much that she wishes she was dead. Her grief transforms into joy when she realizes she’ll be free, then she dies (onset by sudden shock and disappointment) after realizing her husband isn’t really dead.

Grammar I marked some, but not all, grammar errors. Edit those I marked, and thoroughly look through your own writing to fix any others.