1. Transitions and Topic Focus

2. Tips for transitioning After the initial topic sentence, further clarify and identify the path the paragraph intends to take, that is, the organization of time, place, idea. Original: Through examples in gesture and conversation, Dickens depicts Scrooge as selfish, stubborn, and pessimistic. For example, he keeps his door “open so that he might keep an eye on the clerk” (13). Revision with transitional sentence added: Through examples in gesture and conversation, Dickens depicts Scrooge as selfish, stubborn, and pessimistic. Scrooge displays his selfishness in his treatment of his employee. For example, he keeps his door “open so that he might keep an eye on the clerk” (13).

3. Tips for transitioning Add a phrase or clause to the end of the topic sentence to further define a general word appearing in the topic sentence. Original: The Christmas dinner scene at Bob Cratchit’s that Scrooge observes depicts the ideal family. Mrs Cratchit is dressed in ribbons, which are cheap and make a goodly show for sixpence” (77). Revision with transitional phrases and clauses added: The Christmas dinner scene at Bob Cratchit’s that Scrooge observes depicts the ideal family, a family that celebrates despite ill fortune, that encourages all its members to share in responsibility, that practices acts of selflessness. For example, despite their poverty, Mrs Cratchit is dressed in ribbons, which are “cheap and make a goodly show for sixpence” (77), for she is able to express joy and celebration within their economic means.

4. Tips for transitioning Use transitional words (list in your resource packet) For example, to illustrate, next, as a result, furthermore, moreover, later, even though, in addition, likewise, finally, for this reason, therefore, consequently, that is, first, second, etc.

5. Topic Focus Within a paragraph, a writer’s sentences must focus on the topic that appears in the topic sentence. When the writer crafts a sentence that does not flow from the paragraph’s stated or implied topic, such a shift in topic is likely to confuse the reader.

6. Topic Focus To prevent this, craft the paragraph’s supporting sentences so that whatever appears at the beginning of each supporting sentence maintains the reader’s focus on the paragraph topic. This can be done with: - Exact topic word or words (but, avoid repetition) - Synonyms and pronouns of topic words (to avoid repetition) The above methods can be thought of as “word glue” - Introductory phrases or clauses (This method will help the focus to flow from one moment in the story/analysis to the next)

7. Original shifts in topic In The Lord of the Flies, Jack’s proud nature leads to the destruction of order and authority on the island. The conflagration, representing the boy’s only hope to leave the island, burns out due to his lack of supervision, a careless decision that commences the power struggle with Ralph. Ralph is the elected chief on the island and he complains about Jack hunting, even though Jack says that we “needed meat” (65), an action defying Ralph’s authority and showing that Jack believes he knows what is best for the boys.

8. Revision that keeps topic in focus In The Lord of the Flies, Jack’s proud nature leads to the destruction of order and authority on the island. Jack’s pride first manifests itself when the conflagration, representing the boy’s only hope to leave the island, burns out due to his lack of supervision, a careless decision that commences the power struggle with Ralph. In explaining his course of action, Jack tells Ralph that we “needed meat” (65), an action defying Ralph’s authority and showing that Jack believes he knows what is best for the boys.

9. Reminders for your essays Do not use “you” or “I”—expect to lose points for each usage. When you analyze diction, you must state the connotation or denotation of each word you’ve isolated, or a group of words that share a similar connotation or denotation. Then, you connect those connotations or denotations to your overall analysis. See my model on the diction TDEC from earlier in the quarter to review this.

10. Reminders for your essays When you analyze tone, you must first analyze an element of voice, like diction or imagery, that creates the tone. You can’t just throw out a quote and label the tone in the quote.

11. Reminders for your essays Your thesis should directly address the prompt, and it should not just be a theme statement. Let’s look at my model again: Prompt: How does the author use elements of voice to reveal Jake and Brett’s change in perspective? Theme Statement: Often people who have become obsessed with a delusion of love can become disillusioned and can see reality for what it really is. Thesis Statement: In The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway utilizes the elements of voice to reveal the change in perspective from delusion to disillusionment and clarity as Jake and Brett come to terms with the reality of their inability to ever be together.

12. Reminders for your essays You topic sentence should state the focus of your paragraph. It should have elements from your thesis, but should not just be your thesis repeated. Let’s look at my example again. My focus for B.P.1: first taxi scene at the beginning of the novel and Jake and Brett’s delusional love. My topic sentence: One of the first scenes of the novel involves the protagonists, Jake and Brett, taking a ride in a taxi, a scene that will be echoed at the end of the novel, but whose voice will ultimately evolve away from the one of longing desperation that is present in the beginning of the book, due to Jake and Brett’s delusional desire to be together.

13. Reminders for your essays Be sure to give your reader the premise for the story in the first sentence of elaboration, after your topic sentence. For example, in your Shelia Mant essay, you should’ve addressed: - Who the narrator is - His age/approximate age - Who Shelia Mant is/where she came from If you do not give your reader vital context from the beginning, you are leaving your reader in the dark.