Healthy Relationships and Sexuality

Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships Behavioral interdependence Need fulfillment Emotional attachment Emotional availability Need Fulfillment Intimacy Social integration Nurturance Assistance Affirmation

How Intimate Is a Relationship?

Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships Being Self-Nurturant Accountability Both partners see themselves as responsible for their own decisions, choices, and actions. Self-nurturance Developing individual potential through a balanced and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability Families: The Ties That Bind Family of origin The people present in our household our first years of life—usually parents and siblings

Today’s Changing Families

Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships Establishing Friendships Relationships are between two or more people that involve mutual respect, trust, support and intimacy that may or may not include sexual intimacy. Significant Others, Partners, and Couples Fascination Exclusiveness Sexual desire Giving the utmost Being an advocate or champion

This Thing Called Love Theories of Love Intimacy—closeness, sharing, and mutual support Passion—lust, attraction, and sexual arousal Compassion—decision to be open to love in the short term and the commitment to the relationship in the long term There are many different definitions of love. How would you define it?

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Moved this slide up! Update the triangle to match 5.3.

This Thing Called Love Anthropologist H. Fisher and others theorize love and attraction based on brain circuitry and chemistry Imprinting Attraction Attachment Production of a “cuddle chemical” called oxycontin

This Thing Called Love Picking Partners Proximity—being in the same place at the same time Similarities—“opposites attract” usually isn’t true Reciprocity—react with mutual regard Physical attraction Men tend to be attracted primarily to youth and beauty. Women tend to be attracted to older mates who are financially stable.

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships Self-Esteem and Self-Acceptance Self-concept is the way you define yourself. Self-esteem is the way you evaluate yourself. Learning Appropriate Self-Disclosure Get to know yourself. Become more accepting of yourself. Be willing to discuss your sexual history. Choose a safe context for self disclosure.

Gender and Health

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships Becoming a Better Listener We listen best when we believe that the message is somehow important and relevant to us the speaker holds our attention through humor, dramatic effect, use of media, or other techniques we are in the mood to listen (free of distractions and worries)

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships Using Nonverbal Communication Touch Gestures Interpersonal space Facial expression Body language Tone of voice

Committed Relationships Marriage Monogamy—exclusive sexual involvement with one partner Serial monogamy—a monogamous sexual relationship with one partner before moving on to the next monogamous relationship Open relationships—partners agree that there may be sexual involvement for each person outside of the marriage Cohabitation A relationship in which two unmarried people live with an intimate connection together in the same household. Common-law marriage

Marital Status of the U.S. Population by Sex

Greening Your Wedding More than 2 million couples get married in the United States every year. Many wedding service suppliers are providing ecofriendly products and services. Print invitations on recycled paper. Choose rings using recycled metals and stones. Look for gowns made with organic fabrics and textiles. Avoid toxic chemicals by using paperless imagery and 100 percent electronic image exchange. Select flowers grown and harvested organically.

Committed Relationships Gay and Lesbian Partnerships Significant increase in such partnerships in 2000 census— three times the reported number than in the 1990 census Obtaining the same level of marriage benefits continues to be a challenge, though some U.S. states now recognize same-sex marriage along with several countries. Staying Single 76.4 percent of women aged 20 to 24 have never been married according to data from 2007. 86.9 percent of men aged 20 to 24 remain unmarried according to data from 2007.

ABC News Video: Is There a Gay Gene? Discussion Questions Should parents try to find out if their kids are gay early in life? If parents do find out, what should they do about it? Do you think it would affect how they raise their children? Stereotypes were used by the parents in the clip to identify their children as gay early in life; do you think this is a valid way to identify gay or lesbian children or adults? 19

Confronting Couples Issues Jealousy in Relationships Overdependence on the relationship Severity of the threat of jealousy High value on sexual exclusivity Low self-esteem Fear of losing control Changing Gender Roles Our modern society has very few gender-specific roles. Over time, if couples are unable to communicate how they feel about gender roles, the relationship may suffer.

Confronting Couples Issues Sharing Power Power dynamics between women and men have shifted. Successful couples have power relationships that reflect their unique needs rather than popular stereotypes. Unmet Expectations An extension of our values, beliefs, hopes, and dreams for the future Partners in healthy relationships can communicate wants and needs. What do you look for when picking a partner?

Having Children… Or Not? Factors to Consider Relationships change when a couple decides to have children. Resources and attention are split. Existing stressors in a relationship are further accentuated when parenting is added to existing responsibilities. Having a child is not a cure for a bad relationship, and may actually increase stressors on the relationship. Blended Families Nearly half a million children each year become part of a blended family. Those other than heterosexual couples are now parenting.

Having Children… Or Not? Common Parenting Styles Authoritarian—“giving orders” Permissive—“giving in” Assertive–Democratic—“giving choices”

Healthy versus Unhealthy Relationships Up date table with Table 5.5

When Relationships Falter When and Why Relationships End Illness Financial concerns Career problems Unmet expectations Communication breakdown The highest the divorce rate has been in the United States is 41 percent Title change: Consistency with text

When Relationships Falter Coping with Failed Relationships Recognize and acknowledge your feelings. Find healthful ways to express your emotions. Spend time with friends, both old and new. Don’t rush into a “rebound” relationship. Title change – consistency with text

ABC News Video: Jilted Brides Bounce Back Discussion Questions Which of the brides do you think had the healthiest reaction? What do you think is the best way to deal with a negative event such as being left at the altar? In what ways does communication support a relationship? What happens when communication falters, and what are strategies that can be used to overcome communication problems? Title change – consistency with text 27

Your Sexual Identity: More Than Biology All eggs carry an X chromosome. Sperm carry an X or a Y chromosome. Sex hormones play a major role in puberty. Male hormone—testosterone Female hormone—estrogen, progesterone Pituitary gland—gonadotropins Secondary sex characteristics

Your Sexual Identity: More Than Biology Recognition of oneself as a sexual being; a composite of biological sex characteristics, gender identity, gender roles and sexual orientation. Intersexuality—not exhibiting exclusively male or female primary and secondary sex characteristics Gender Identity The psychological condition of being feminine or masculine as defined by the society in which one lives Gender roles Gender identity Transgendered Transsexual Gender-role stereotyping Androgyny

Your Sexual Identity: More Than Biology Sexual Orientation A person’s enduring emotional, romantic, sexual or affectionate attraction to other persons Heterosexual Homosexual Bisexual Sexual Prejudice Sexual minorities are often targets of hate crimes, discrimination, and hostility Why is sexual orientation controversial in our society?

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Female Sexuality Anatomy and Physiology External Female Organs Mons pubis—pad of fatty tissue covering the pubic bone Labia majora—folds of skin and erectile tissue that enclose openings Labia minora—folds of mucous membrane Clitoris—female sexual organ, only known function is pleasure Urethral opening—urine leaves the body Hymen—a thin membrane that may cover the vagina in some women Perineum—the area between the vulva and anus Vaginal opening—opening to the vagina

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Female Sexuality Anatomy and Physiology Internal Female Organs Vagina—a tubular organ that serves as a passageway from the uterus to the outside of the female body Uterus (womb)—hollow, muscular, and pear-shaped The endometrium—inner lining of the uterus, either prepares the uterus for implantation or menstrual flow Fallopian tubes—two thin tubes where sperm and egg meet extending from the uterus Ovaries—almond-sized structures suspended on either side of the uterus that produce the female hormones

Female Reproductive System

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology The Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle Hypothalamus Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) Luteinizing hormone (LH) Ovaries produce estrogens and progesterone

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Menarche First menstrual period Generally starts between ages 9 and 17 Body fat influences onset of puberty. Menstrual Cycle Usually 28 days long Proliferative, secretory, and menstrual phase Menstrual Problems Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) Dysmenorrhea Toxic shock syndrome (TSS)

Hormonal Control and Phases of the Menstrual Cycle

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Menopause Permanent cessation of menstruation Generally occurs between ages 40 and 60 Often accompanied by decreased vaginal lubrication, hot flashes, headaches, dizziness, and joint pain. Onset symptoms can be ameliorated by hormone replacement therapy (HRT) Results from the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) suggest that hormone therapy may actually do more harm than good. It is important to find a doctor who specializes in women’s health.

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Male Sexual Anatomy and Physiology External Genitals Scrotum—protects the testes Penis—deposits semen Internal Genitals Testes—manufacture testosterone Epididymis—sperm ripen here Vas deferens—stores and transfers sperm Ejaculatory ducts—through which semen is ejaculated Urethra—passes sperm and urine

Male Reproductive System Figure 5.8

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Accessory Glands Seminal vesicles—provide nutrients and fluids to semen Prostate gland—provide fluids to semen Cowper’s glands—secrete fluid that lubricates the urethra Circumcision Surgical removal of a fold of skin covering the end of the penis known as the foreskin Decreased risk of urinary tract infections, penile cancer, and HIV

Sexual Anatomy and Physiology Human Sexual Response Excitement/arousal—vasocongestion Plateau phase—nipples and penis erect Orgasmic phase—muscles contract Resolution phase—profound relaxation Refractory period—genital organs return to their pre-arousal states

Expressing Your Sexuality Sexual Behavior: What Is “Normal”? Coital standard Orgasmic standard Two-person standard Romantic standard Safer sex standard

Expressing Your Sexuality Options for Sexual Expression Celibacy—avoidance or abstention from sex Autoerotic behaviors—sexual fantasy and masturbation Kissing and erotic touching—erogenous zones Manual stimulation—use of sex toys Oral-genital stimulation Cunnilingus—oral stimulation of the female’s genitals Fellatio—oral stimulation of the male’s genitals Vaginal intercourse—insertion of the penis into the vagina Anal intercourse—insertion of the penis into the anus

Expressing Your Sexuality Variant Sexual Expression Group sex Transvestism Fetishism Exhibitionism Voyeurism Sadomasochism Pedophilia Autoerotic asphyxiation How many of these variant behaviors have you heard of?

Types of Sexual Dysfunction

Responsible and Satisfying Sexual Behavior Good communication as the foundation Acknowledging that you are a sexual person Understanding sexual structures and their functions Accepting and embracing your gender identity and your sexual orientation

Drugs and Sex

Drugs and Sex Alcohol can inhibit sexual response Increasing number of young men experimenting with the recreational use of drugs to treat erectile dysfunction Viagra Cialis Levitra “Date Rape” Drugs Rohypnol (“roofies”) Gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB) Ketamine