SAT Prep: Improving Paragraphs AVID III Spring 2012

Why do we have to improve paragraphs?  The SAT wants to make sure that we will be successful writers in college.  Therefore, the “Improving Paragraphs” section is included to test your knowledge of good writing.

There are three things we will look at today  Moving around sentences to enhance the message of the essay,  Avoiding wordiness  Rewriting the sentence to make sense within the paragraph. This all goes make to understanding and further enhancing the MEANING of the paragraph as a whole.

First…  We must read the essay given completely to understand its overall meaning.

Why read it first?  If we don’t know the overall meaning, there’s no way we can logically improve the writing!  What’s the point of words if they have no meaning?

As we’ve learned before, a good essay is made up of several things  Topic Sentence  Concrete Detail (fact, quote, claim)  Commentary (a no less than two sentence explanation of the Concrete Detail)  Concluding Sentence/Transition Sentence All of these things go together to give the reader a clear understanding of the message you’re trying to get across.

My father has an exceptional talent. (2) The ability to understand people. (3)When I have a problem that I think no one else will understand, I take it to my father. (4) He listens intently, asks me some questions, and my feelings are seemingly known by him exactly. (5) Even my twin sister can talk to him more easily than to me. (6) Many people seem too busy to take the time to understand one another. (7) My father, by all accounts, sees taking time to listen as essential to any relationship, whether it involves family, friendship, or work. (8) At work, my father’s friends and work associates benefit from this talent. (9) His job requires him to attend social events and sometimes I go along. (10) I have watched him at dinner; his eyes are fixed on whoever is speaking, and he nods his head at every remark. (11)My father emerges from such a conversation with what I believe is a true sense of the speaker’s meaning. (12) In the same way, we choose our friends. 13)My father’s ability to listen affects his whole life. (14) His ability allows him to form strong relationships with his coworkers and earns him lasting friendships. (15) It allows him to have open conversations with his children. (16) Furthermore, it has strengthened his relationship with my mother. (17) Certainly, his talent is one that I hope to develop as I mature.

What meaning is the author trying to get across? Summarize it in your own words! Her father has an exceptional ability of listening to people.

Now…  Let’s look at the questions it’s going to ask us.  Remember, these questions are asking us to make sure the meaning the author intended gets across.

Of the following, which is the best way to revise and combine sentence 1 and 2 (reproduced below)? My father has an exceptional talent. The ability to understand people. (A) My father has an exceptional talent and the ability to understand people. (B) My father has an exceptional talent that includes the ability to understand people. (C) My father has an exceptional talent; the ability to understand people. (D) My father has an exceptional talent, it is the ability to understand people. (E) Despite my father’s exceptional talent, he still has the ability to understand people.

We remember that the author is telling us that her father as an exceptional ability of listening to people

Let’s look at A  The first answer choice is telling us that her father has an exceptional talent AND something else. Is that the case?  NO  Why? Because her father’s exceptional talent IS the ability to understand people.

Now try B…  The second answer choice is telling us that her father that “includes..”  What’s it including? Is that the clearest choice?  Nope, let’s move on.

Now let’s look at C.  My father has an exceptional talent; the ability to understand people  Does that sentence go back to the author’s main idea?  Probably, but let’s check the last two answer choices to make sure.

D…  D has the right thought, but is it grammatically correct?  Nope!  Can’t be this one!

E…  Despite my father’s exceptional talent-  Wait, that makes it sound like a bad thing? Does the author want us to think his father’s talent is bad?  Nope!

Therefore…  The best answer choice is C.  This answer gets the message across in the clearest way- her father’s exceptional talent IS the ability to understand people.

Check!  What do we need to determine before we even begin reading the questions?  Why is that important?

Using this same passage…  Let’s look at the other questions the SAT is going to through at us in this section.

Of the following, which is the best way to phrase sentence 4 (reproduced below) He listens intently, asks me some questions, and my feelings are seemingly known by him exactly.  (As it is now)  Listening intently, he will ask me some questions then my exact questions are seemingly known to him.  As he listens to me and asks me some questions, he seems to be knowing exactly my feelings.  He listened to me and asked me some questions, seeming to know exactly how I felt.  He listens intently, asks me some questions, and then seems to know exactly how I feel.

What’s the main idea here?

Put plainly… The father listens, asks questions, and knows exactly how his child feels.

Let’s look at it again..  Which answer is the CLEAREST?

Of the following, which is the best way to phrase sentence 4 (reproduced below) He listens intently, asks me some questions, and my feelings are seemingly known by him exactly.  (As it is now)  Listening intently, he will ask me some questions then my exact questions are seemingly known to him.  As he listens to me and asks me some questions, he seems to be knowing exactly my feelings.  He listened to me and asked me some questions, seeming to know exactly how I felt.  He listens intently, asks me some questions, and then seems to know exactly how I feel.

Were you right??  We can quickly eliminate most of the answer choices, since they sound just as funky as the original.  E!  This answer choice goes right to the point and gets our message across!

One more..  Let’s see if our trick of “making sure the meaning is clear” works this time too!

3. In sentence 7, the phrase by all accounts is best replaced by  (a) However  (B)moreover  C. to my knowledge  D. like my sister  E. but nevertheless

Let’s look back at sentence 7 in the paragraph  It reads  “My father, my all accounts, sees taking time to listen as essential to any relationship, whether it involves family, friendship, or work.”

This time…  For this one, let’s look at the CONTEXT (what are the sentences around it saying )  We want to make sure our sentence fits into the meaning of the entire paragraph.

The context..  The sentence before it reads, “Many people seem too busy to take the time to understand one another”.  What is the author trying to say about her father?  She is showing a contrast in that most people do not take the time to understand others, but her father does.  Which of the answer choices best shows that relationship, a contrast?

The answer choices.. A. However. Does that show a contrast? Yes, but lets make sure there’s not a better answer. B. Moreover Does that show a contrast? No, moreover means to keep going. C. To my knowledge Does that show a contrast? Nope D. But nevertheless. This one kinda works in meaning, but it doesn’t really sound right when we plug it into the sentence.

The answer is..  A!  Why? Because it shows the true meaning of the message the author is trying to get across- that her father is different from most people.

On the next few questions..  You’re going to see the words “In Context”.  This means to look at the sentences surrounding the given one.  Looking at the sentences around the given sentence can give us clues to the overall meaning of the paragraph and what the author intended to get across.

Check!  What do we need to determine before we even begin reading the questions in the section?  Why is that important?  What do we do when we see the words “in context?”  Last, what are we trying to determine in each of the questions?

Guided Practice  With your table, decide on the correct answer for the last three questions on your handout  Go to that corner and prepare a rationale for why you choose that letter with your group.

Independent Practice  Timed drill  5 questions on Practice Set 1 (5 minutes)  And…check!

IP Answers

Extended IP:  Get your research logs and work on your third rough draft.  Using the skills you just learned, make sure every word you use is enhancing the meaning YOU want to get across to the audience!

Exit Ticket  Rock it!!