Conflict in Relationships RTU Summer School Programme 2011

Learning Outcomes To examine the dynamic of conflict To consider our normal response to conflict. To develop fresh insights and consider strategies to create more positive outcomes to conflict situations.

Dispelling the myths about Conflict Conflict has the capacity to destroy a relationship beyond repair. Conflict has the capacity to provide the creative impetus which will broaden and deepen relationships. There is no such thing as a problem-person only problem behaviours which have there origin in the situation.

Communication Defined Communication is the passing on and receiving of information, ideas and feelings so that understanding is achieved.

Understanding Understanding is the basis for any relationship be it personal or professional, so if understanding matters, the nature and the quality of the communication matters.

Relationships ‘However there are times when relationships matter more than others; the relationships that matter most to us are those that are long term. So we need to consider carefully how we communicate within these long term relationships and acquire the skills which will enhance these relationships. This is especially true when there is conflict to be dealt with.’ Frazer Thompson

Observers of animal behaviour have noticed how creatures display 4 types of behaviour when there is a perceived threat. They flock, they might freeze, they might flee or they fight. Observers of human behaviour are intrigued by the ways in which people respond to interpersonal challenges-those times when we are in conflict with others or ourselves. The choices we make reveal much about who we are. Mediationchannel.com

Thomas Klinsman Conflict Mode Instrument for example –is a self-administered test used to assess and make sense of 5 possible styles of behaviour in dealing with conflict situations. (Fall-back positions or learned behaviour) Ron Kraybill suggests we all have established particular ways of responding to conlict with others and can adapt different styles in different contexts De Bono Thinking Exercise for 7-8 year olds Key question: How do you normally respond to conflict situations

The most obvious place to start is by asking you to consider what are the qualities you possess that enable you to deal effectively with challenging situations? Are there certain kinds of conflicts between people I find it easier to deal with? Are there specific people or situations we find it more difficult to deal with effectively?

Conflict Jigsaw

Analysing Difficult Situations List one person in your life whose behaviour you find difficult: As specifically as possible, write down what makes the person difficult:

Analysing Difficult Situations List one person in your life whose behaviour you find difficult: You usually respond to this behaviour in these ways: