Customs of Afghan Weddings By Laura Beasley

How to Choose Your Mate You do not get the option to date You do not meet your husband/wife until the day of marriage Older men are paired with younger girls Girls can be as young as 9 and as old as 17; men as old as 60 Mainly because the young girl’s family is poor (Fazl ur Rahim Muzaffary) The winning UNICEF photo

The Process of Engagement A background check is done on the girl and her family A female member of the groom’s family goes to the house of the bride and consults the “proposal” Shereny khory (the engagement): the groom’s father and others go to the bride’s home and present her and her family with gifts (Fazl ur Rahim Muzaffary) Dinner is hosted at the bride’s home, and this is where the father of the groom “proposes” and is so accepted as a “servant” to the father of the bride Wedding expenses and the brides necessities(paid for by the groom’s family) are discussed (The Engagement, Henna and Nikah)

Takht e Khina The family of the groom prepares henna for all the participants in the bride’s “henna party” which is held one night before the wedding The bride closes her right hand and does not open it unless the groom’s mother presents some type of gift, or he can forcibly open it. The groom leaves the party, but just before he places the henna in the bride’s hand and places a white cloth over it Henna is used to decorate the bride’s hands and feet and the leftover henna is used for the unmarried girls at the party It is said that whoever gets henna on their pinky finger is to be married soon (Fazl ur Rahim Muzaffary)

Takht e Khina The bride’s hands and feet are covered with henna the night before the wedding. (Pakistani Fashion)

Party at the groom’s house Many people are invited to the groom’s house for food, singing, dancing, and music The groom and his accompanied men, singer, and group of tambourine men go to the house of the bride where a khutba nikah (marriage speech) is held The bride and groom sit on a couch on a stage surrounded by the bride’s dancing and singing friends. The ceremony then begins: they uncover a mirror and look at themselves to represent purity and then recite lines from the Qur’an

The Wedding Ceremony It is said that whoever sits down first is to be the more dominant of the two. (chocostudio.com)

Conflict of Young Age While the ceremony might seem intriguing and fun, depending on the age, it might not be very fun at all Some of the children are still so young that they are seen still holding their toys during the ceremony The children often become mothers in their early teens Sometimes they are rushed to hospitals for physical damage or abuse (Farangis Najibullah)

The Couple’s New Home The bride is escorted to her new home by a horse/car, with a few friends and relatives Even though she is told to do so many times, the bride does not get off until the mother of the groom offers property The name of Allah is said while a sheep is slaughtered under the brides foot As a good omen, the bride must hit a nail into the threshold of the door of her home as she enters it (Fazl ur Rahim Muzaffary)

Takt Jami The “post-wedding” Held on 3 rd or 7 th day after the wedding Gifts such as furniture or dishware is brought to the bride by her close friends and family Only for girls and women The present is held up and the giver of the present’s name is called out The relatives of the couple will begin inviting them to their new home (Paeewazee) (Fazl ur Rahim Muzaffary)

Works Cited "The Engagement, Henna and Nikah in Afghan Marriage Customs." Afghan Marriage Customs. SBI, Web. 17 Oct Najibullah, Farangis. "Afghanistan: Marriage Practice Victimizes Young Girls, Society." RadioFreeEurope/RadioLiberty. Radio Free Europe Radio Liberty, 18 Oct Web. 17 Oct Rahim Muzaffary, Fazl Ur. "OnIslam.net." Afghan Muslim Wedding. Onislam, 23 May Web. 17 Oct