Dwelling in the House of Mourning Eccl 7:1-4; Ps 31:9-10

A.The optimist: which to me, means not ever giving up because things could get better! 1. Or the sad sack pessimist who expects things to go badly, and can so realize a self-fulfilling prophecy and then can say, “I told you so!” 2. But right in the pessimist’s face, the optimist will say, “wait and see, things will get better” 3. Enters Reality: Even the optimist will eventually mourn

B. Grief from actual loss or dread of a coming loss: 1. Most grievous - spouse, child, grandchild, parent 2. Even the loss of beloved pets which have served us as surrogates in life can be stunningly painful 3. Loss of a friendship; the rank disloyalty of a friend 4. A loved one who turns away from the Lord 5. Time in life growing short and the sad realization that cherished goals of life will never be fulfilled

C. How calming it would be to have full understanding of everything as it happens, but such is not the case - 1Cor 13:12 1. John 11:35, “Jesus wept.”

The Five Stages of Grief Authors - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler 1.Denial 2.Anger 3.Bargaining 4.Depression 5.Acceptance

Denial 1.Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible 2.In this stage, the world becomes without meaning and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. Numbness and unbelief 3.There is a grace in denial. It is God’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle

Anger 1.Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless 2.Toward friends, doctors, loved ones, yourself and even your loved one who died, but also to God - Job said, 10:5-8, Job’s friend says in 11:6; seek compassionate advice 3.But anger needs to be understood; is just another indication of the intensity of your love

Bargaining 1.We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements 2.The “if onlys” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently 3.We do not enter and leave each individual stage in a linear fashion. We may feel one, then another and back again to the first stage

Depression 1.After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present 2.Depression is an appropriate response to a great loss - Job 2:13 3.It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness 4.The loss of a loved one is a very depressing situation, and depression is a normal and appropriate response

Acceptance 1.Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case 2.We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it – 2Sam 12:18-23 – death of his baby son 3.Finding acceptance may be just having more good days than bad ones. As we begin to live again and enjoy our life, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved one

“Hold to Gods Unchanging Hand” – song “Tempted and Tried Were Oft Made to Wonder” – song