Attraction

Theories of Attraction Attraction as an Attitude Balance Theories Reinforcement/Reward Theories Similarity Arousal Theories Fatal Attractions

Theories of Attraction Attraction as an Attitude- an orientation toward or away from a person that consists of a cognitive structure of beliefs and knowledge about the person, affect felt and expressed toward him or her, and behavioral tendencies to approach or avoid that person. Balance Theories Life is simpler and attraction is greater when people and things are in harmony Research indicates attitude alignment as support of this theory (see page 25)

Theories of Attraction Reinforcement/Rewards Theories Classical Conditioning Two stimuli are associated through pairing and eventually through association both stimuli elicit the same response Operant Conditioning Attraction is based on rewards and punishments Exchange Theory

Similarity Theory Birds of a feather flock together Attraction increases in direct proportion to increases in similarity between participants and strangers (Byrne & Nelson, 1965) Three Areas of Similarity that Increase Liking Demographic Similarity Attitudes and Values Personality Similar cognitive complexities Similar emotional styles Attachment styles

Similarity: Liking People Like Us Three Phases of Relationship Development Stimulus- information about obvious attributes such as sex, age, appearance Value- information about attitudes, beliefs, and values Role- information about compatibility in life task roles (parenting, marriage, careers)

Similarity: Liking People Like Us Attraction is Likely to Influence Similarity People who are attracted become more similar Discovering Similarity Takes Time We rarely get to know our partner as well as we think we do. Misperceptions Linger (consider schoolmates) Perceived Similarity is Dangerous There is a higher correlation between perceived similarity and marital satisfaction than between real similarity and marital satisfaction. To some degree people seem to be married to illusory images of their partners that portray them as similar soulmates

Arousal Theory According to Berscheid (1974), Passion & Attraction are Rooted in: 1) physiological arousal 2) the belief that another person is the cause of the arousal Misattributions Excitation Transfer- a type of misattribution in which arousal caused by one stimulus combines with additional arousal caused by a second stimulus, but the first stimulus is ignored Laughter Fear Exercise

Fatal Attractions Fatal Attractions- qualities once seen as alluring and fascinating in a romantic partner that are often the same or very similar to those considered flaws and weaknesses after a breakup Dissimilarity between partners leads to more breakups, especially when the qualities of dissimilarity were ones that had attraction in the first place. The more unique or extreme a partner’s qualities the more one might become disillusioned with them

Environment: Proximity To meet people is not necessarily to love them, but to love them we must first meet them! Convenience Proximity is rewarding, Distance is costly. Absence does not seem to make the heart grow fonder Familiarity Mere exposure to someone usually increases our liking and attraction for him or her. Power of Proximity Overexposure or saturation may not enhance attraction. Best conclusion from research is that proximity is that is accentuates our feelings about others. Proximity (liking the ones we are near)

Environment: Body Language Characteristics of Attractive Body Language Stance Lean Forward Body Orientation (eg. facing and arms) Facial Expression Portrayal of Personality Visual Interaction Direct Gaze Increased Frequency Emotional Expression Through Body Language

Matching Hypothesis Partners in established relationships tend to have similar levels of physical attractiveness. Why? The Matching Theory- a theory that suggests that people usually pair off with others of similar status, physical attractiveness, and various other assets and traits. Could be that similarity is rewarding; opposition is not. When opposites attract people may be trading one asset for another. Matching based on the exchange of feminine beauty for masculine status and resources is common place Leading cause of sexual difficulty among married men is the perception that their wife “let herself go” while they still “look good’.

Mate Selection & Evolutionary Psychology Attraction is important to mate selection and continuation of the race. Charles Darwin & Natural Selection Parental Investment- proposes that men and women have different reproductive strategies. Women invest more in each single offspring and therefore discriminate more Women seem men with greater earning capacity Men discriminate less and seek physically attractive mates (sign of health)

Evolutionary Psychology: Physical Attractiveness What is beautiful is good. If a person is viewed as physically attractive they will be judged as: Kind, Strong, Outgoing, Nurturant, Sensitive, Sexually Warm and Responsive, Interesting, Sociable, Exciting Dates Who is pretty? Women: (baby faced); symmetrical face, large eyes, small nose and chin, and full lips. Idea is that they appear feminine and youthful. Babies prefer these faces Men: symmetrical face, strong jaws, broad foreheads – who look strong and dominant (George Clooney) If you make the average male face for feminine then they are considered more attractive (warm and friendly (Leonardo DiCaprio)

Support of the Evolutionary Perspective Despite cultural differences people around the world agree on what is attractive Babies are born with preferences for the same faces that adults find attractive People with symmetrical faces that we find attractive enjoy greater mental health and make better mates Waist-to-Hip ratios found to be most attractive are associated with greater physical health Physical attractiveness matters more to people who live in equatorial regions of the world where there are more parasites and pathogens that endanger good health

Who has Bias for Beauty Men prefer an attractive mate more often than women High Self- Monitors (individuals who are sensitive to the impressions they make on others and regulate their social behavior to meet the demands of different social situations) prefer a more attractive person

Costs and Benefits of Beauty Beautiful people get more dates. Attractive women generally talk more and are more involved. Handsome men receive more smiles, talk, and positive feelings from others. There is no correlation between a women’s beauty and the amount of time she spends talking to men. However, men’s looks are correlated with the number and length of interactions they have with women. More attractive people tend to be less lonely. Some studies suggest that attractiveness can account for 10% of the variability in peoples adjustment and well being over their lifetime.

Costs and Benefits of Beauty Attractive people are lied to more often Less likely to trust other people Compliment result of looks or abilities Contrast Effect- perceptual phenomenon in which a given object is perceived differently depending on the other objects to which it is compared HDTV and Pornography

So What Do Men and Women Want Research Indicates that There Are Three Qualities that Are Sought Out In Partners Warmth and Kindness Desirable Personality To Be Liked in Return