Example Thesis Statements

Here is the prompt we will work with. Here is the prompt we will work with. In a well organized essay, explain how the writer uses rhetorical strategies to convey his message about society’s attitude toward drunkenness. In a well organized essay, explain how the writer uses rhetorical strategies to convey his message about society’s attitude toward drunkenness.

Thesis Example 1 Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to show the audience how destructive alcoholism really is. Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to show the audience how destructive alcoholism really is.

Specific, but doesn’t address prompt. Asked about Sanders’s message about society’s attitude toward drunkenness. Specific, but doesn’t address prompt. Asked about Sanders’s message about society’s attitude toward drunkenness.

Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to show the audience how destructive alcoholism really is. Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to show the audience how destructive alcoholism really is. How? Be more specific. Usually an author doesn’t USE ethos, he or she uses some other rhetorical device in order to establish or create ethos. How? Be more specific. Usually an author doesn’t USE ethos, he or she uses some other rhetorical device in order to establish or create ethos.

Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to show the audience how destructive alcoholism really is. Sanders uses ethos, pathos, and tone shift to show the audience how destructive alcoholism really is. Shifts from what tone to what tone? Shifts from what tone to what tone?

Thesis Example 2 Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos to get across his message. I think he is trying to convey the message that society refuses to take alcoholism seriously; they prefer to view it as a joke. Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos to get across his message. I think he is trying to convey the message that society refuses to take alcoholism seriously; they prefer to view it as a joke.

Good description. Specific, uses verbs. Good description. Specific, uses verbs.

Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos to get across his message. I think he is trying to convey the message that society refuses to take alcoholism seriously; they prefer to view it as a joke. Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos to get across his message. I think he is trying to convey the message that society refuses to take alcoholism seriously; they prefer to view it as a joke. Way too many things to write about in one essay. Choose your best 3, or the 3 that connect together the best. Way too many things to write about in one essay. Choose your best 3, or the 3 that connect together the best.

Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos to get across his message. I think he is trying to convey the message that society refuses to take alcoholism seriously; they prefer to view it as a joke. Sanders uses a lot of similes, metaphors, and other contrasts as well as tone shifts and pathos to get across his message. I think he is trying to convey the message that society refuses to take alcoholism seriously; they prefer to view it as a joke. Don’t use 1 st person. It is already obvious that you are writing what you think. Don’t use 1 st person. It is already obvious that you are writing what you think.

Example Thesis 3 Sanders uses tone shifts in this essay to convey that society’s humorous attitude toward drunks is very cruel to the many people affected by alcoholism. Sanders uses tone shifts in this essay to convey that society’s humorous attitude toward drunks is very cruel to the many people affected by alcoholism.

Shifts from what to what? Also, one item is too few. Shifts from what to what? Also, one item is too few.

Example Thesis 4 Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and organization to convey society’s attitude toward drunkenness. Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and organization to convey society’s attitude toward drunkenness.

Vague—what persona, shifting from what to what, what about the organization? Vague—what persona, shifting from what to what, what about the organization?

Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and organization to convey society’s attitude toward drunkenness. Sanders uses persona, tone shifts and organization to convey society’s attitude toward drunkenness. What is the attitude? What is the attitude? Also, careful—prompt didn’t ask about society’s attitude, asked about Sander’s message about society’s attitude. Also, careful—prompt didn’t ask about society’s attitude, asked about Sander’s message about society’s attitude.

Tips: Be as specific as possible. If you can’t fit it all into one sentence at this point, that’s okay. Be as specific as possible. If you can’t fit it all into one sentence at this point, that’s okay. Verbs are your friends Verbs are your friends Careful to address the prompt Careful to address the prompt No 1 st person No 1 st person

A good thesis statement Prompt: In a well organized essay, explain how the writer uses rhetorical strategies to convey his message about society’s attitude toward drunkenness. In the essay “Under the Influence” by Scott Russell Sanders, he conveys a message that society uses humor to hide the burden of alcoholism; therefore, people never face the real problems alcohol causes. He uses many rhetorical devices such as musical diction, tone shifts from humorous to sarcastic, and allusions to develop this message.

Never mention diction without an adjective to describe it. Light-hearted diction Light-hearted diction Informal diction Informal diction Humorous Humorous Sarcastic Sarcastic Childish diction Childish diction Diction full of alliteration and assonance Diction full of alliteration and assonance Musical diction Musical diction

ICE Analysis Question\ICE.doc Analysis Question\ICE.doc

ICE: How to use evidence Introduce, Cite, Explain Introduce, Cite, Explain Integrate evidence into your OWN sentence. Integrate evidence into your OWN sentence. Never begin a sentence with a quote or paraphrase Never begin a sentence with a quote or paraphrase Explanation = how this piece of evidence helps prove your thesis Explanation = how this piece of evidence helps prove your thesis Citation depends on piece of writing: Citation depends on piece of writing: AP essays, cite in intro (In paragraph 2, Sanders uses the words…) AP essays, cite in intro (In paragraph 2, Sanders uses the words…) Research papers, cite in intro or use parenthetical doc. Research papers, cite in intro or use parenthetical doc.

To Quote or Paraphrase? Quote when: Quote when: Short, specific language is impt. Short, specific language is impt. Ok to quote only part of a sentence, individual words. Use ellipses (…) if you omit part in the middle of a sentence. Ok to quote only part of a sentence, individual words. Use ellipses (…) if you omit part in the middle of a sentence. Paraphrase when: Paraphrase when: Long, content is important but language is not Long, content is important but language is not