Style: Keep the tone of your essay formal – this is an analytical piece, not a narrative! – That means you should… NOT say “I” or “You” Use formal language choices (no slang, clichés – ex: “Old Milon seemed like the kind of man who would not hurt a fly.”) Remove contractions (change won’t to will not) Write the essay in PRESENT tense: Milon kills sixteen Uhlans…When he spits in the Prussian colonel’s face…Because he hates the Germans deeply…Milon is 68 years old… Talk about the events of the plot as if they are real, not part of a story. – Avoid “At the end of the story…” “Throughout the story…”

How’s Your Analysis? Examine your purposefully crafted Embedded Sentences. – Does the self-evident help explain your analysis? – Does the analysis connect to the detail? For example: When Old Milon cuts off the first soldier’s head, he hides the dead soldier at the bottom of the lake. There is no analysis in this sentence! How does cutting off the soldier’s head prove that he is _____ (trait)? Cutting off the first soldier’s head and sinking the remains to the bottom of the lake, Old Milon deviously hides his first murder in order to gather the props he will need to effectively carry out his revenge.

KISS! (Keep it simple, stupid! ( Not that any of you are stupid…) Avoid lengthy/flashy language: in critical analysis, your goal is to communicate your problematic but accessible information using straight-forward detail/analysis constructions and then move on. NOT: “He gets revenge for the reason that the Prussians had previously killed his father and son.” BUT: “He seeks revenge on the Prussians for the deaths of his father and son.” NOT: “By acting like he was kind to the Prussian militia who came to live in his house, Milon was able to appear trustworthy…” BUT: “By obliging the Prussian militia who commandeered his house, Milon appeared trustworthy…” Keep your voice Active (s+v) not Passive.

Embedding Quotes When quoting from the short story, make sure you include page numbers in parentheses with each quote.

Final thoughts… 1.Commas go INSIDE quotation marks. In Guy de Maupassant’s story “Old Milon, ” the title character’s most outstanding trait is his desire for vengeance. 2. Avoid “This shows that…” “This proves…” etc. If it comes at the beginning of the sentence, simply remove it and see if your analysis is clearly connected to the statement before it.