1. FORMAL WRITING FEEDBACK ENG3U

2. WHAT WE ARE GOOD AT! Finding evidence Identifying stylistic and structural choices MLA embedded citations Paragraph structure (logical flow) Using transitional words

3. WHAT WE NEED TO WORK ON This is a floating quotation: “We shall fight on the beaches, we shall…” (Churchill). Proper lead in: Churchill demands of his audience, “We shall fight…” (Churchill).

4. CHOICE AND EFFECT – LEVEL 1 In Golding’s, Lord of the Flies, his choices help develop the setting.

5. CHOICE AND EFFECT – LEVEL 2 In William Golding’s, Lord of the Flies, stylistic choices help develop the setting of the island.

6. CHOICE AND EFFECT – LEVEL 3 In William Golding’s novel, Lord of the Flies, the stylistic choices of imagery and personification help develop the setting of the island.

7. CHOICE AND EFFECT – LEVEL 4 In William Golding’s novel, Lord of the Flies, the stylistic choices of imagery and personification help develop the hellish setting of the island. or the character of Ralph or the theme topic of savagery. or the tone of excitement.

8. PERSONAL PRONOUNS Formal academic writing is not opinion writing Do not use “I think…” or “I believe that” or “We can see that” Stay away from using contractions! Write “do not” instead of “don’t”

9. PASSIVE VOICE Avoid writing “might” or “could” – makes you seem like you’re unsure. You are trying to prove something, not ask about it, or wonder if you are correct.

10. MISCELLANEOUS Do not say that aspects about the text are obvious, because if they are so evident and clear, why are you writing about it? Quotation = noun (a thing) Quote = verb (this is something that you do)

11. MISCELLANEOUS Avoid using past tense Ex. Churchill used a periodic sentence… Ex. Churchill’s use of periodic sentences… Ellipses (…) Only use three dots. You do not need to use an ellipses at the beginning or end of a quotation. Only use an ellipses if you want to omit the middle of a sentence.

12. Text – “The other three were routine matters, though the second one would probably mean some tedious wading through lists of figures” (Orwell 41). However, “…the second one would probably mean some tedious wading through lists…” (Orwell 41). The narrator states that “the other three were routine…though the second one would probably mean …wading through lists of figures” (Orwell 41). Winston’s job requires him to “[wade] through lists of figures” (Orwell 41). Winston’s job is “tedious” (Orwell 41).