Unit 3 Daily Communication (II) Case Analysis Compliments and Compliment Responses Gift-giving and gift-receiving Exercises

Compliments and Compliment Responses Main point: Chinese modesty Social functions of compliments Differences between Chinese compliments and English compliments Cultural assumption Expressions for gratitude in English and Chinese Common expressions for apology in English

Compliments and Compliment Responses Compliments and compliment responses are an essential part of daily verbal communication.Various expressions of compliment and compliment response manfifest the cultural variations and different cultural roots.

Chinese Modesty Oh, it’s an ordinary dress I bought in China. Should I blush, or should I tell him you don’t really mean it? Growing flowers is my hobby, but I’m not much good at it. I really know so little about the subject....

Social functions of compliments Creating or reinforcing solidarity greeting people expressing thanks congratulation encouraging people softening criticism starting a conversation getting over embarrassment

Differences between Chinese compliments and English compliments The Semantic formula The Syntactic Formula Common responses formula in E- and C- compliments

The Semantic Formula English: This was a great meal. Bill, you look so nice today. I love your dresses. About 80% adj. 16%verbs Chinese: 你的房间不错。 你待人真好。 你该受表扬。. Mainly adj. Adv. verbs

The Syntactic formula English: NP is/looks adj. 53% e.g.You are so efficient. I like/love NP. 16.2% e.g. I really like your hardwood floors. PRO is (really) (a) ADJ NP (14.9%) That’s really a beautiful car. Chinese compliments You V ADV.41% 你干得不错！ (You)NP is ADV Adj 35% 你穿这件外套真 漂亮。 PRO is ADJ NP (9%) 那是一幅不错的画。 PRO (you) V NP Y 5% 你该受表彰。 PRO (I) V (like) NP 4%. 我喜欢你的房子。

Common Responses Formula in English and Chinese Compliment American English A: This is really a nice sweater. B: I’m glad you like it. A: You did a good job. B: Thank you/Thanks. Chinese A:Your sweater is very good. 你的毛衣 不错。 B: I bought is only for ten yuan. 才花了我十 元钱。 A: You did the job very well. 你干得不错。 B: That’s the result of joint efforts. 大家努力 的结果。

I do envy you. You are so beautiful! I do think that’s charming. I must say the soup is really very good. I should say this shirt matches your trousers fabulously. Its’ an unforgettable experience. It’s lovely! It’s so brilliantly beautiful! Oh, how nice. Compliment

Compliment Oh, isn’t that lovely! Oh, wouldn’t that be nice! That’s a very nice hairstyle you’re wearing. The hat suits you very well. You have a good taste. You look really wonderful in that blue skirt. You look very smart.

Informal Compliment Informal Compliment I like the design! I love your coat! I must take my hat off to you for your good show. I say, I like your brooch. I’ve got to hand it to you; you really did a good job.

Informal Compliment Informal Compliment Just look at it. Isn’t amazing! Mm! You look great. Wonderful! / You really look sharp today. Your presentation is smashing. Now that’s absolutely super!

Formal Compliment Formal Compliment I really must express my admiration for your competence. I think you deserve the highest praise. If I may say so, the crispy fried duck is delicious. I like to express my admiration for your generosity. May I say how charming you look?

Responding to Compliments Responding to Compliments Do you really think so? I’m very glad you like it / think so. It’s very nice of you to say so. Oh, thank you, but I have a lot to learn yet. Thank you, but it’s not really all that good. Thank you very much for saying so. That’s very kind of you.

Responding to Compliments Responding to Compliments Informally Oh, I’m flattered. Oh, thanks!

Responding to Compliments Responding to Compliments Formally How very kind of you to say so. That’s very kind of you, but in all truth I feel the credit should go to Mr Harrod. I appreciate your remarks, but I honestly don't think it was anything to shout about.

Simulation game:Dinner Party

The students are divided into groups of five or six, one is supposed to be the host or hostess who is holding a dinner party, and the other would be either the Chinese guests or English speaking guests. Provide some probable problem situations as concerned with compliments, politeness, hospitality, gifts, and some offensive questions etc. Simulation game: Dinner Party

Cultural Assumption You have lost weight. You’ve put on weight./You’ve gained weight.

Expressions for gratitude in English and Chinese English: Thanks/Many thanks/Thanks a lot./Thank you very much./Thank you very much indeed./I really don’t know how to thank you enough./I’m thankful to you for all your kindness./ I greatly appreciate your timely help

Formulaic responses to the expressions above Not at all. You’re welcome. Don’t mention it. It’s my/our pleasure. That’s all right. That’s okay. (It doesn’t matter and Never mind are responses to apology.)

Common expressions for apology in English Excuse me. Will you excuse me for a few minutes? Excuse me for my smoking here. I’m sorry… Sorry about that. Sorry for not phoning you. I’m very /so /terribly/awfully/extremely sorry for that. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I beg your pardon. Pardon me. Pardon me for sneezing. I do beg your pardon for the mess I’ve made. A thousand pardons for taking up so much of your time. Please forgive me. Please forgive my carelessness. Please forgive me for having lost your book. I apologize. I must apologize for my rudeness/fault/mistake, etc. I must make an apology for losing my temper. May I offer you my profoundest apologies for the wrongs I’ve done you.

Formulaic responses It doesn’t matter at all. Never mind. No harm done. No problem. Forget it. Please don’t worry. That’s quite all right. I quite understand. It’s not your fault. It’s nothing. Please don’t blame yourself. There is no reason to apologize. It’s really not necessary.

Activity 3 Differences in Accepting the Gifts In the West, it is regarded as polite to open _______as soon as they are given to you to express ___________. In China, the situation is quite the________. Normally we Chinese feel that if you open the gift as soon as it is given, you might ___________the person who gives the gift and you might be thought _________. So Chinese people tend to open the gifts_______ the visitors have left. appreciation gifts reverse embarrass greedy after

What’s more, many people send gifts without _______ them, and if they wrap them, they usually tell the receiver_______________, and the receiver will ________the sender and put the gift aside without __________ them since they already know what is inside. Differences in Accepting the Gifts wrapping what is inside thank unwrapping

Differences in Bringing Gifts In China,it is quite _______to present _______ bottles of wine rather than one. Apart from being more generous even numbers of gifts suggest_________. As to types of gifts, _______ is common one to bring with when visiting a family. usual two good luck fruit

However, things are quite different in the West. Guests invited to dinner in the West frequently bring _____bottle of wine with them. One is quite enough, two are of course welcome but _______and not expected. As they are expected to be consumed at the meal bringing two might even give the impression that the giver is a ______ drinker who fears she will not have enough to drink. Taking ______to such an occasion is unusual. Traditionally gifts of fruit are thought of as only appropriate for visits to people who are_______ one unusual heavy fruit ill. Differences in Bringing Gifts

中国人对礼品真的不感兴趣吗？ 中国的送礼讲究： -- 名目繁多：婚丧节庆、生儿育女、乔迁、 升学等 -- 礼品贵重 礼多人不怪 （孔子得子，鲁国君送鲤鱼示贺，孔子大 为感激，去取其子名为鲤）

时至今日，中国人送礼似乎更重实用及 贵重。 欧洲人基本维系了 “ 礼轻情意重 ” 的送礼初 衷 -- 不太讲究礼品的实用与昂贵（画册 / 针线 包） -- 包装务求精美，观赏价值与文化品位 -- 介绍当地的印刷精美的画册是属于比较高 雅和珍贵的。（国际交往中）不送食品 与生活用品与本厂生产的产品（而送带 有该公司标志的钢笔或画册），觉得将 产品作礼品来送有失对客人的尊重。

例子 “ 代表团对此次访问满意吗？昨晚当我们 送礼时，代表团为什么没有一个人打开 礼品看一看呢？对我们来说，只能理解 为对我们的礼品不感兴趣，或者有什么 意见。 ” （荷方人员对中国住荷大使） “ 荷兰人为什么要当场查看我们的礼品呢？ 难道是对我们的礼品不放心？ ”

欧洲人最怕听中国人说哪两个 字 “ 客随主便 ” (Up to you) 点饮料 : 随便 / 什么都行、团长说 “ 茶 ” ，所 有人都说 “ 茶 ” agenda ：订菜（中餐 / 西餐） “ 什么都可以， 看他方便就是了 ” -- 外方人员： “ 我怎么能根据我的喜好来安 排他们的口味呢？ ” -- 参观景点， 2 个选 1 ， “ 您看哪儿方便就去 哪儿，不要太费心了，去哪都行。 ” 不知道对方的真正要求是什么, 无所适从

欧洲人的个体性 十来人的代表团, 要分 5 、 6 批，有的乘飞 机，有的坐火车；有的住单间；有的住 套房，有的非不吸烟楼层不住；有的客 人提出要与有关部门进行工作会谈，有 的要去博物院，自由市场 ….

牛排与方便面 中国代表团往往会感谢当地接待方说： “ 你们的国家非常美丽，你们的人民很友 好，你们的接待很周到。 ” 外方人员并不 领情， “ 为什么都是这么几句话呢？难道 没有一点不同的感受？ ” “ 老三篇 ” 外，三点建议：资料的中文翻译， 牛排老一点，加些方便面，外方人士对 中国的文化与历史的了解多一点。 令对方非常感谢，认为这种不同的声音非 常难能可贵。

Research Topics Compare the invitation differences between Western culture and Chinese culture. Pay particular attention to the differences between “genuine invitation” and “false invitation” in American culture. Compare the similarities and differences between the Chinese way and the American way in gift giving and gift-receiving. 补充阅读

1. Sometimes the Chinese way of showing modesty may be condidered as fishing for compliments. 2.The social functions of Chinese and English compliments are roughly the same. 3.In informal situations,a large number of complements are used to make people feel comfortable. Exerciese

4.The cultural assumption of compliments is the same between cultures. 5.Adjctive and verbs are often used to convey compliment message in English, while adjectives,adverbs and verbs are often used in Chinese. 6. English compliments often begin with the word “you” while Chinese compliments often start with the word “I”. Exerciese × × ×

7.Chinese people give more compliments in daily life than Americans. 8.Americans tend to be self-effacing in their compliment responses. 9.Compliments on othe’s belongings are sometimes an indirect way of request in American culture 10.If a guest compliments something in another person’s home, the Chinese host or hostess will probablygive that thing to the guest. Exerciese × ×

1.discuss the different semantic formulas in English and Chinese compliments 2 What is the cultural assumption ? Please give an example to illustrate your point Questions for Discussion