4 November 2014 De Montfort University Working with Male Victims of Domestic Abuse in Heterosexual & Same Sex Relationships

Mina Shah Women’s Aid Leicestershire Ltd Specialist Services Team leader Mark Wykes Domestic Abuse Outreach Officer Dennis Bradley LGBT Centre Project Officer

Workshop Outline  Raise awareness of the barriers faced by male victims of domestic abuse  Show how their experiences may differ from those of women  Case study  Some facts highlighting domestic abuse experienced by male victims  Contact Details

Case Study The abuse had been happening for a while though I could not see it, until I was assaulted by my ex-wife quite violently who I lived with for 20 years. Thinking back from the beginning the relationship wasn’t great but it isn’t until now that I realise how bad things actually were. When I was in the relationship I thought it would eventually get better and we would be able to get over the issues. It was hard for me as from an early age it is learnt that men are expected to be the strong ones, the alpha males and the ones that don’t cry. Eventually I had no self-esteem, no confidence, felt useless, was constantly put down and as time went on I felt completely worthless. I was referred to the ADAM Project, at first I believed I wouldn’t benefit from their help. Once I had met with the outreach worker I realised that it was a fantastic supportive service.

Continued … I received weekly support from the outreach worker, who was very sympathetic, understanding and made me feel that I wasn’t alone. ADAM Project helped me significantly at the start to pick up the pieces as I was distraught, I also received help to secure my own accommodation as I was technically homeless. When I had the support from the ADAM Project I felt confident in getting out of the situation, which I had never had the confidence to do so. My life has completely changed, things are now on the mend and have turned out for the best. Without ADAM Project I know I would still be in that bad place, I feel much stronger, happier, in control of my won life and this is all thanks to the ADAM Project.

Support is offered by an Outreach Worker on an individual basis, face to face or by phone/ . Information and advocacy can be provided on issues such as:  Relationship breakdown  Safety planning  Housing options  Benefits  Legal issues  Budgeting  Tenancy sustainment  Signposting and referrals to other Agencies What we provide

Quiz

In 2012/13, 5.2% of women (845,000) and 3.1% of men (517,000) experienced partner abuse: for every three victims of partner abuse, two will be female and one will be male Male victims (29%) are nearly twice as likely than women (17%) to NOT tell anyone about the partner abuse. Only 10% of male victims will tell the police One in every five victims of forced marriage is a man (20%) Younger people are more likely to be a victim of domestic and partner abuse than those in older age groups 11 Organisations offer refuge or safe house provision for male victims in the UK – a total of 58 spaces of which 17 are dedicated for male victims. There are over 400 organisations with around 4,000 spaces dedicated to female victims In 2012/13 75,000 men suffered sexual assault Source: Mankind ( Some Facts

Why is help necessary? Facts suggest that one in six males are victims of domestic abuse. Currently 2% of clients within Women's Aid are male victims. Therefore there is a huge amount of under-reporting of males and domestic violence.

What barriers do you think male victims are faced with?

Barriers faced by male victims of domestic abuse Heterosexual Victims Not being believed by services Not taken seriously Believe they are the only ones suffering Embarrassed to admit they are victims Bad experience with services in the past Not aware of the services Do not realise they are victims Fear of not being believed Most services are driven towards women Child contact Safety – lack of refuges, nowhere to go Services may be less likely to identify men as victims Fear of being wrongly identified as perpetrators Police attitude

Most services are driven towards women Failure to recognise that they are a victim Many may feel insecure/ashamed of their identity Fear of being outed Homophobia Child contact Refuges LGBT Victims

Leicestershire has a large, vibrant and diverse LGBT community It is estimated that approx 1 in 4 LGBT people will experience domestic abuse within their lifetime (Broken Rainbow) LGBT Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transgender

Power and Control Wheel for LGBT Relationships

Moving forward: How can we break down the barriers?

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ADAM Project. Tel: County Domestic Violence Helpline – Outreach Services Hinckley & Bosworth Borough Council/Blaby Council Tel: The Centre – LGBT TRADE Sexual Health First step – Sexual Health counselling, Services available in Leicestershire for male victims