God’s Healing for Life’s Losses How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting Bob Kellemen, Ph.D.

♥There Is Hope in the Midst of Hurt ♥John 16:33

The Big Picture: Creative Suffering ♥“There is no human experience which cannot be put on the anvil of a lively relationship with God and man, and battered into a meaningful shape.”

1. Denial: Shock and Awe 2. Candor: Telling Yourself the Truth ♥Candor is courageous truth telling about life to myself in which I come face-to-face with the reality of external and internal suffering. 3. My Personal Candor Journey Candor: Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

4. Biblical Candor Samplers ♥Psalm 42:3-5 ♥Job, Jeremiah, Solomon, Asaph, Heman, Jesus, Paul ♥1 Thessalonians 4:13 ♥No Grieving; No Healing. Know Grieving; Know Healing. ♥Candor Is Our Decision to Step on the Mats! Candor

1. Anger: Cursing that Pushes Away 2. Complaint: Telling God the Truth ♥Complaint is vulnerable frankness about life to God in which I express my pain and confusion over how a good God allows evil and suffering. Complaint: A Lament for Your Loss

3. My Personal Complaint/Lament Journey 4. Biblical Complaint Samplers ♥Psalm 62:8 ♥Psalm 73 ♥Jeremiah 20:7 ♥Lamentations 5:20 ♥Psalm 88:18 ♥Job 3:23-26 ♥To diminish suffering is to refuse to need God! Complaint/Lament

1. Bargaining/Works: A Tit-for-Tat God 2. Cry: Asking God for Help ♥Cry is a faith-based plea for mobilization in which I humbly ask God for help based upon my admission that I can’t survive without Him. Cry: I Surrender All

3. My Personal Crying Out to God Journey 4. Biblical Crying Out to God Samplers ♥Psalm 56:8 ♥Psalm 72:12-14 ♥Psalm 34:17-18 ♥1 Samuel 30:4-6 ♥Crying empties us so there is more room in us for God. ♥Suffering is God’s primary way of uprooting our self-reliance. Crying Out to God

1. Depression/Alienation: Grief without Hope ♥If God allowed work to work, no one would ever surrender to God. 2. Comfort: Surviving Scars ♥History ♥Co-Fortitude ♥Comfort /communion experiences the presence of God in the presence of suffering—a presence that empowers me to survive scars and plants the seeds of hope that I may yet thrive. Comfort: God Comes

3. My Personal Comfort Journey 4. Biblical Comfort Samplers ♥Genesis ♥Psalm 73:21-28 ♥Isaiah 63:9 ♥2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ♥Faith does not demand the removal of suffering; faith desires endurance in suffering. Comfort

1.Regrouping: Immediate Gratification 2. Waiting: Refusing to Demand Heaven Now ♥Waiting is trusting God’s future provision without working to provide for myself. ♥Waiting is refusing to take over while refusing to give up. ♥Hope waits. Waiting: When God Says, “Not Yet”

3. Biblical Waiting Samplers ♥OT Prophets: Better Day Is Coming…Later ♥Romans 5; James 1; 1 Peter 1-2; Hebrews 11 ♥Hebrews 12:16 and Esau ♥Hebrews 11:24-26 and Moses ♥Romans 8: Tim and Terri’s Waiting Journey Waiting

1. Deadening: “Don’t Get My Hopes Up!” 2. Wailing: Groaning with Hope ♥Wailing is longing fervently for heaven and living passionately for God and others while still on earth. ♥Philippians 1:23-25 ♥Wailing is grieving the “Not yet.” ♥“I ache for Paradise, but I’m pulling weeds East of Eden until the day I die!” Wailing: Pregnant with Hope

3. Biblical Wailing Samplers ♥Romans 8:18-25  Frustration: Vanity  Eager Waiting: Desperate Desire  Pregnant Labor for a Lifetime!  Pregnant with Hope Wailing

3. Biblical Wailing Samplers ♥Romans 8:28-39—Thriving: Nikao/Nike/Victorious! 4. Tim and Terri’s Wailing Journey Wailing

1. Despairing: The Negative of Hope 2. Weaving: Perceiving with Grace/Higher Plan ♥Weaving is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective. ♥Weaving perceives suffering not with rose- colored glasses, but with faith-eyes, with Cross-eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision. Weaving: Spiritual Mathematics

3. Biblical Weaving Samplers ♥John 14; Ephesians 3; Colossians 3; Hebrews 11; Revelation ♥Genesis 50:20 ♥Genesis 45:5-8 ♥Romans 8:17-18 ♥“Instead of our perspective shrinking, suffering is the exact time we must listen most closely, when we must lean over to hear the whisper of God.” 4. Tim and Terri’s Weaving Journey Weaving

1. Digging Cisterns: Jeremiah 2:13 2. Worshipping: Glimpsing the Face of God ♥Worship is wanting God more than wanting relief. ♥Worship is finding God even when you don’t find answers. Worshipping: Finding God

3. Biblical Worshipping Samplers ♥Psalm 73:25 ♥Psalm 42:1-2 ♥1 Peter 1:8 ♥Philippians 3:8, Tim and Terri’s Worshipping Journey Worshipping

The Rest of the Story: The Promise of a Lifetime ♥Revelation 7:17; 21:4 ♥Jesus is on the move.

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting