REAL DADS Get Them Ready Ephesians 6:4 Colossians 3:21

Ephesians 6:4 And fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Dangers to Avoid: Anger “Don't stir up anger in your children” Amp: “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger” Weymouth: “Do not irritate your children”

Four Approaches to Parenting AutocraticAutocratic: You’ll do it my way because I said so PermissivePermissive: You can do anything you want NeglectfulNeglectful: I don’t really care what you do RelationalRelational: I’m listening… I care… I want to understand… We’ll do it this way this time because… Josh McDowell, The Father Connection

Ways to exasperate your children: Unclear Expectations Demands beyond their ability Unexpected Anger Undue Severity Partiality Inconsistent Discipline

Dangers to Avoid: Discouragement Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won't become discouraged.” Literally, to take the spirit out of

Ways children are discouraged: Continual fault finding Ridiculing them as persons High on demands; low on praise High on control; low on support Cursing at them “You are just like your father” “Why can’t you be more like __ ?”

Build Up to Maturity “Bring them up” Weymouth: “Bring them up tenderly” Literally: “To nourish up to maturity”

Train and Discipline training“Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Amp: “Training and discipline” The whole training and education of children to cultivate their minds and morals Whatever cultivates the soul, esp. to correct mistakes and curb passions.

Training Objectives Self-Control –Proverbs 25:28 “A person without self- control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.” Respect –Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” –Foolishness: –1) of one who despises wisdom –2) of one who mocks when guilty –3) of one who is quarrelsome

Cooperation vs. Self-centered Ability to stand alone –Psalms 144:1 “Blessed be the LORD my Rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle” To establish “normal” –What you grow up with is what you think is normal. –Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

The Ultimate Goal of Parenting The ultimate goal of parenting is to transfer control of civilization to the next generation.The ultimate goal of parenting is to transfer control of civilization to the next generation. -Dave Simmons, Dad, The Family Mentor

Instruct and Counsel instruction“Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Amp: “Counsel and admonition of the Lord” Vincent: “Training by word of mouth” Hodge: “To put in mind”

Instruct and Counsel Deuteronomy 6:7, NLT “Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.”

Instruct and Counsel Faith – The ability to trust God Doctrine – The truth about God Understanding – The ability to relate the principles of Scripture to the situations of life Discernment – The ability to distinguish good from evil, truth from error, and evil people from good