How to be an effective peer leader Leadership Training How to be an effective peer leader

Three Steps to Success Step 1: Know the Destination Step 2: How do we lead? method and framework Step 3: Best Practices Practical Leadership Advice

Step 1: Know the Destination A leader is someone who guides or directs others A leader should know where to go and what to do A good leader will set an achievable goal for those who follow They will know how to assist others in achieving this goal It should not be the blind leading the blind

So, Where are we going? St. John Bosco used to stop boys and ask, “Where are you going?” “I’m going to heaven.” Everything we do as a leader needs to be directed towards helping others to become living saints and to get to heaven. This means that we need to do all things to strengthen the part-icipant’s relationship with God.

The blind leading the blind This means that if we are going to be good leaders this week, we too must be focused on that same relationship with Jesus Christ We need to lead by example and fully invest ourselves into this retreat We should bring life to every activity and remain focused on the retreat. You will set the environment by your own enthusiasm.

Leading towards Leadership The goal of the Leadership Retreat is to make the participants better leaders We also want them to be better Christians It is important for us to seek and nurture the leadership of others This means that our goal in this retreat is to become unnecessary I must decrease so that they might increase

The Analogy of the Lamp We want the participants to shine - they are the bulb The retreat is the body of the lamp which holds the bulb up high & gives it structure The adults are the base offering sturdy support for the lamp You, the young team, are the power cord meant to feed energy into the system. You empower them to shine!

Step 2: How do we lead? First and foremost, by example By becoming a humble servant of the retreat director and the participants Young Team should be the least of those on this retreat, your reward will be great in heaven By sticking to the path that is laid out for us By being aware of the needs of others By positive attitude and Christian Love.

Salesian Accompaniment The method of leadership we use with the Salesians is called accompaniment This means that we do everything with our participants! Nothing is too cool for us, nothing is beneath us, and we don’t ask another to do what we would not. Sharing the experience allows us to lead from within, where we can gently correct and powerfully encourage the participants

Be Preventive! Our method is called the Preventive System This means that we create the environment where we make it easy for the participants to do what is right You don’t have to do bad things to have a good time We use accompaniment to redirect behaviors toward the goals of the retreat

Preventive in Practice Be aware Look for objects, activities, or situations that may lead to trouble Remove those objects, and change or redirect those activities or situations to more positive ones. Know where the participants are Look for participants who are left out, sad, not fitting in, etc. and accompany them

Preventive in Practice Be Proactive Young team MUST anticipate! Anticipate the needs of the participants Anticipate the needs of the director Seek to be helpful Prevent drama! Don’t cause or magnify it! Intervene early Bosco’s prison ministry was in the playground The best way to help a prisoner, is to see to it that he never becomes one.

Preventive in Practice Reason, Religion, Kindness Lead and direct with gentle kindness Give reasons for corrections Keep God at the center of all your interactions Encourage and complement participants Be Joyful! It’s contagious!

The Analogy of the Egg The preventive system is like an egg The team is like the shell, it keeps bad things out and it provides a safe environment for the yolk to grow The egg white is the retreat itself, it nurtures and strengthens the yolk The yolk would be the participants If done correctly the yolk will grow, the participants will leave the retreat (egg) and will multiply the effect in other places.

Step 3: Best Practices In this final step we will take a look at some very practical ways of being an effective leader Ultimately your leadership is based on your own commitment to the cause If you break the egg the whole thing dies and becomes corrupted However the miracle of “New Life in Christ” will happen to you and them if you preserve the egg. Here are some practical tips to help you be an outstanding leader.

The “oi!” Method When you enter a room with the participants you should think, “oi!” This means that you should “Work the room” from the outside -> In Your first inclination will be to go where the action is, or where your favorite people are. However, we are not here to satisfy that desire for games and friends We are here to accompany everyone into positive growth through the community

The “oi!” Method Look for the wall flowers and encourage them to come and join the fun Look for the downcast and ask them if everything is ok Look for the shy and encourage them to accompany you into the mix Be patient and always inviting Work in pairs! This helps.

The Wall Flowers We can’t fix the awkwardness of others! Be gentle and inviting - don’t nag Learn their names and use them! Personal invites and group invites Some things like dancing make people feel uncomfortable You might offer to teach them You might invite them over saying “come on over, you don’t have to dance.” etc. You might sacrifice the dance floor to accompany them (Bring friends, its no pity party)

The Tough Guy/Gal There are some people who are too tough or cool for everything less than their own super-coolness You might break the ice by asking, “hey did you get tricked into coming?” If they say, “No,” then you say, “C’mon we’re doing…x” If they say, “Yes,” then you might strike up a conversation about it. If they want to bash the retreat that’s fine You should encourage them… “it gets better” Stay positive and share some of the benefits you are gaining from it. Chances are its only an act.

Prince Potty Mouth This retreat is for God’s word to be heard in their hearts We should encourage positive talk and and good language Discourage swearing, complaining, and negative talk (don’t do it yourself) Use humor Use optimism Use each other for support

Small Group Success Attitude is everything Don’t be shy, ask the question, expect the answer! When you give up, they give up! Silence is Golden and Awkward Don’t panic at silence if they’re not brewing up genius, let the awkwardness of silence provoke an answer. Take your time, enjoy the conversation Read everything before you start, know the gist of where you are going. Then go fishing!

Small Group: Fishing Start with a nice easy question, “Having fun yet? What did you like?” Then follow your guide Some questions get dismissive answers, those are nibbles on the fishing line Some questions will evoke some enthusiasm, that is a bite Don’t cut the line and recast a new question Let the conversation flow until they become tired Then reel them in with the next question

The Soap Box Star Remember the lamp, empower them to do all the shining/talking in the group. Some people have an answer to everything and can overpower your SG This can reduce the rest of the group to “I agree… I agree… I agree…” Try to spread around who answers the next question first If you have a soap box star, ask if anyone disagrees or ask what the opposing argument is (unless its brutally obvious) Be kind and encouraging, call on people who are not talking Before asking “the next question” you might say, “Jack what’s on your mind? You can also politely acknowledge a soap box star and suggest to them, “let’s encourage some other opinions.”

Personal Success Don’t forget that you’re on retreat too! Immediately begin praying for the people you meet. Stop into the chapel and pray for those who are struggling Ask God to help your small group Be a servant and invest yourself You will learn a deeper self-less joy Hopefully you will pass that same joy to others this same week.

Use the Adult Team Finally, you are not alone. This week you have an amazing adult team to help you out. The priests The Director and Assistants The Pre-Novices Don’t try to solve every problem yourself, use these people for both advice and assistance! Thank you for your sacrifice and your hard work!

Why do cows dress differently? They have their own brands! Any Questions? Why do cows dress differently? They have their own brands!