1 Are you carrots, eggs, or coffee beans?

How to “build and nurture” resilience in your teen April 5, 2012

3 Mission Statement Together with the Halton community, the Health Department works to achieve the best possible health for all.

4 Agenda What is resilience? Why is resilience important? Relationships - “the base to work from” How can parents help build resilience in their teen? Parenting resources “Don’t give up!” YouTube video

5 What is resilience? “Resilience is the ability to recover from difficulties or change – to function as well as before and move forward. Many refer to this as “bouncing back” from challenges.” CAMH. (2009). Raising Resilient Children and Youth.

6 Why is resilience important?

7 Relationships – “the base to work from” Development of the whole child The importance of belonging Relationships as central

8 Adults are responsible for the quality of children’s relationships.

9 Importance of peers and other adult relationships The relative importance of relationships with parents, other caregivers, other adults, and peers changes with development. All of these relationships are central to children’s development for mental health. Pepler, D. York University & The Hospital for Sick Children. Children’s Mental Health: A Focus on Relationships. Retrieved from

10 How can parents help build resilience in their teen? Help teen: Develop self discipline Become a good problem-solver Establish routines Get involved in school activities Have supportive friends

11 Develop self discipline Look for opportunities when your teenager can make decisions for themselves Hand over this responsibility gradually Prompt your teenager to decide things for themselves Prompt them to consider the options and the likely outcomes Do not let your teenager pressure you into making decisions for them – they may blame you later if it doesn’t work out

12 Become a good problem-solver Look for opportunities when you can coach your teenager in problem-solving Break down the steps of problem-solving and guide your teenager through them one at a time Prompt your teenager by asking questions that help them work through these steps If you teenager is really stuck, ask if you might offer a suggestion Do not let your teenager pressure you into solving the problem for them – require some participation on their part

13 Establish routines Arrange a time to discuss routines with your teenager, e.g. arrange a family meeting Explain the issue/s to be discussed Ask your teenager for suggestions Acknowledge these suggestions or ideas Don’t dismiss or put-down suggestions Suggest a trial Ignore negative or non-productive behavior Get your teenager to write out the routine

14 Get involved in school activities How to encourage involvement in school activities: Participate yourself in school events and parent activities Get to know your teenager’s teachers Find out what opportunities are available for your teenager Encourage your teenager to try out different activities Obtain commitment for a trial period

15 Get involved in school activities How to keep your teenager involved in school activities: Write a reminder of day and time Show genuine interest in your teenager’s activities Be flexible and respond to your teenager’s suggestions or concerns Prompt your teenager to make note of breaks and restarts

16 Have supportive friends Create suitable and safe times to talk Ask your teenager who they spend time with at school Encourage them to bring friends home, or go to approved events together Make time to talk to your teenager if problems persists Encourage them to talk to teachers they get on with when problems occur at school

17 Parenting Resources For more information, please contact: Halton Region Dial 311 or call Toll free: HALTON ( ) TTY:

18 “Don’t give up!” vFdE&feature=fvwrel Thank you! Comments or Questions?