Collegiality in Action Part 2

Goal Create and hold space for constructive dialogue and critical conversations that are characterized by collegiality and respect.

We are all imperfect and that’s okay. Norms Listen actively and with empathy. Share what you can. Be truthful. Be kind. Be respectful and collegial. Presume good intent. Ask for and give help. Ask for and give forgiveness. Give and receive grace. We are all imperfect and that’s okay.

Scenario A college is considering hiring a new administrative position at a college council meeting. One person suggests that they look at the qualities women bring to positions of leadership and authority and how that benefits the college. Some are offended by the suggestion because it is stereotyping all women. Some are offended because the suggestion implies that there is a lack of value or gender parity sensitivity within the college and they believe that the college actively recruits women and minority candidates already. The person who provided the suggestion is offended by both of these viewpoints, feels she has not been heard, and will probably not make a suggestion again in the future. The conversation devolves for the rest of the meeting around those who are offended, who has the right to be offended, and what viewpoint is most offensive.

Discussion in Pairs Have you ever experienced a similar situation? How comfortable were you in expressing your viewpoints? Did you handle the situation well? If so, how? Do you think you could have handled the situation better? If so, how? What skills, knowledge or abilities do think would have been most helpful in the situation?

Lean Into the Discomfort As leaders, we will encounter situations or topics that make our members and maybe ourselves uncomfortable. A natural reaction is to avoid, minimize or ”solve” the discomfort but sometimes we need to distill the essence of the communication and create space for the topic using our Norms and expectations.

Some suggestions… In reality, a slight change of wording could have provided a more constructive conversation. She could have suggested a review of the job duties, desired qualities, and necessary characteristics for the next hire. That might lead to a dialog about what qualities and characteristics are valued by the company and why some qualities and characteristics are possibly undervalued. This, in essence, seems to be the content of the suggestion.

Another suggestion… Sometimes, we do not take the time to hear the content of the words of our colleagues. Or we choose to ignore the emotions behind the words. We can be much more effective if we assume good intent and treat our colleagues with grace and kindness. If we can take a few minutes before we react and try to consider what is the meaning of the communication.

Some suggestions… As a faculty leader, could we hear the suggestion and shape it into a constructive, if difficult, conversation? This is not a skill set many of us have training or natural ability in – that’s ok!

Words of Advice Pause Breathe Don’t take it personally Think…Decide…Act or Speak Model the behavior you want to see in others.

What’s Next? How do we continue to create and hold space for constructive dialogue and critical conversations? If you are missing skills, identify and seek help. What skills or knowledge might be useful as you move forward with the work?

Thank You!