Day 6: The Personal Bank Account

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens The Ultimate teenage success guide

What is a habit? habit (n)- 1. a usual way of behaving Let’s hear your definition first. habit (n)- 1. a usual way of behaving 2. a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. Let students define first. Then present definition and have students write it down.

Habits can be… positive or negative constructive or destructive helpful or unhelpful They can be many things, but they are not without consequence. In order to ensure you experience academic, social, and behavioral success at Edna Karr and in life, it is important that you have solid goals and the habits it takes to achieve them. Let students define first. Then present definition.

The 7 habits of highly effective teens The 7 habits of highly defective teens Be proactive React Begin with the end in mind Begin with no end in mind Put first things first Put first things last Think Win-Win Think Win-Lose Seek first to understand, Then be understood Seek first to talk, Then pretend to listen Synergize Don’t cooperate Sharpen the Saw Wear yourself out “Defective” habits will appear first. Let students define “defective” habits. Clarify where needed. Reveal the effective habits.

How can the 7 habits help you? They can help you: Get control of your life Improve your relationships with family and friends Make smarter decisions Get along with your parents Overcome addiction Define your values and what matters most to you Get more done in less time Increase your self confidence Be happy Find balance between school, work, friends, and everything else.

Personal Bank Account (PBA) What is it? A Personal Bank Account is how you feel about yourself. You can add money or take it away with the actions that you take. For example, if you stick to a commitment, then that adds to your PBA. If you stray away, then it takes away from your PBA.

Personal Bank Account (PBA), ctd Symptoms of a poor PBA You cave into peer pressure easily You wrestle with feelings of depression or inferiority You’re overly concerned with how others feel about you You act arrogant to hide insecurities You self-destruct with drugs, vandalism, gangs, etc. You get jealous easily, especially if someone close to you succeeds. Have students write down whichever of these they may practice, even if just occasionally.

Personal Bank Account (PBA), ctd Symptoms of a healthy PBA You stand up for yourself and resist peer pressure You’re not overly concerned with being popular You see life as generally positive You trust yourself You are goal driven You are happy when others succeed Have students write down whichever of these they may practice, even if just occasionally.

PBA Deposits and Withdrawals Like any bank account, deposits add value, and withdrawals take away value. The following table gives examples of how both can occur. PBA Deposits PBA Withdrawals Keep promises Break personal promises Do small acts of kindness Keep to yourself Be gentle with yourself Beat yourself up Be honest Be dishonest Renew yourself Wear yourself out Tap into your talents Ignore your talents Have students write down whichever of these they may practice, even if just occasionally.

Reflection Underneath your identified personal bank account habits, write a few sentences on what you can do to improve the things that negatively affect your account’s “balance.” Give the students a few minutes to write then see if a couple are willing to share.

Day 7: Habit 1

Habit #1: Be Proactive, ctd Do you know what it means to be proactive? Being proactive means you’re in control. You are the driver in any situation that affects you directly. habit (adj)- 1. being ready to act with the intent to improve the outcome of a situation, usually a bad or difficult one Let students attempt to answer. Then reveal definition and have students write it down.

Habit #1: Be Proactive, ctd You overhear your best friend bad-mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn’t know you overheard the conversation. Just five minutes ago, the same friend was sweet-talking you to your face. You feel hurt and betrayed. Reactive choices: Tell her off, then hit her Become depressed because of what she said Decide she is a two-faced liar and ignore her for two months Spread rumors about her. After all, she did it to you Proactive choices: Forgive her Confront her and calmly share your feelings Ignore it and give her a second chance. Realize she isn’t perfect, just like you, and that sometimes you might talk about her behind her back as well without meaning any harm Ask some students to choose what they think their natural reaction would be. Weigh pros/cons of choices. Ask them if they’ve ever been proactive with a problem.

Listen to your language Reactive Language Proactive Language I’ll try I’ll do it That’s just the way I am I can do better than that There’s nothing I can do Let’s look at all our options I have to I choose to I can’t There’s gotta be a way This ruins everything I’m not going to let this negative thing ruin my mood/day/plans Get students to think about what they say when responding to something and think about whether it sounds reactive or proactive

Reactive people feel like victims. Proactive people are different. The victim virus Reactive people feel like victims. They also are easily offended Blame others Get angry and say things they regret Whine and complain Wait for things to happen to them Change only when they have to Proactive people are different. They are not easily offended Take responsibility for their choices Think before they act Bounce back when something bad happens Always find a way to make it happen Focus on things they can do something about, and don’t worry about things they can’t

Control Talk about how the only thing we control in this entire world is ourselves. Being reactive or proactive is a choice.

Reviewing and Applying Remember, being proactive means you make choices and behave with the intent of improving the outcome of something, usually a problem. You will face many problems over the course the school year. Being proactive will be important in helping you solve, learn from, and get past those problems. Let’s talk a little bit about what that might look like. You’re not doing well in one of your classes You don’t seem to get along with a teacher You got in trouble for something someone else did You got in trouble for something you actually did You don’t think Karr is the right place for you Give the students some problems they may face during the school year and have them come up with ways to be proactive

Day 8: Habit 2

Begin with the end in mind Habit #2 Begin with the end in mind

What does it mean? Beginning with the end in mind means developing a clear picture of where you want to go in life. It means deciding what your values and principles are and setting goals for yourself. Habit 1 says you’re the driver Habit 2 says that, since you’re driving, you decide on the destination and create a map to get there. It doesn’t mean deciding every little detail now.

What else does it mean? It means you have some serious decisions to make. You need to figure your friends out. Friends can help or hurt you. They influence your attitude, reputation, and direction. Its hard to believe, but its better to be friendless than have the wrong friends You need to make decisions about other relationships. You may have to change the way you interact with people you see regularly outside of school That may require some notice and explanation on your part. You will have to decide about school. Whether you believe it or not, you have the entire world in front of you right now. You can achieve whatever you want. You can go as far as you want to. Academic success will play a big part in that. You will have some decisions to make about study habits, organization, work ethic, behavior, and so on. Stress how important a student’s social circle is and how to cultivate a supportive one.

This is important because… You need goals to keep you focused on your way to success. Setting them is the easy part. Working to achieve them is a different beast all together. Have students share goals they had in the 8th grade, both successful and unsuccessful. See if you can help spot the silver lining in the unsuccessful goals.

5 Keys to Goal Setting Goals are more specific than a mission statement and can help you break your mission down into smaller pieces. Key #1: Count the Cost What will your goal require? What are the benefits? Are you willing to make the sacrifice? For example, A goal to get better grades would require more time doing math and grammar and less time hanging out with friends. But the benefit of getting better grades will give you a sense of accomplishment, it could get you a scholarship, and much more. Key #2: Put it in Pen A written goal carries ten times the power of an unwritten one. “A goal not written is only a wish.” Have students talk about why making sacrifices is hard. Discuss with them why it is important to articulate a goal (write it down) and not just think it.

5 Keys to Goal Setting (cont.) Key #3: Just Do It There is a difference between “I’ll Try” and “I will.” You wouldn’t lend money to someone who is only going to “try” and get it back to you. You wouldn’t want to marry someone who is only going to “try” being faithful to you. Fully commit to your goal. “Do or do not. There is no try.” Key #4: Use Momentous Moments Moments that have a beginning or an end help to bring momentum to our goals. For example, a new year is a new place to start. And breaking up is an end to something, but still a new place to find momentum and new things in life. Touch experiences carry momentum. Use them to propel you forward. Key #5: Rope Up Borrow strength from others. Rope up with friends, family, counselors, teachers, pastors, and whomever else you can. They can only help you.

Three Watch-Outs Watch out for the dangerous roadblocks! #1: Negative Labels Labels are an ugly form of prejudice. When you label, you are pre-judging someone without getting to know them. If you are labeled something enough times, you begin to believe it and it comes true. You are not your labels. #2: “It’s All Over” Syndrome Mistakes are okay. Even if you make them over and over. Don’t self-destruct. It’s never over. It’s normal to make mistakes, especially ones that we tend to regret years later. Adults do it. Teenagers do it. #3: Wrong Wall It’s common to work so hard for something you want, only to get it and feel empty. It’s easy to lose sight of who you are and what you want when something else starts to go right with you. Make sure to listen to your conscience and be brutally honest with yourself. Really hammer home that very last point of being honest with yourself. Ask students what that might look like.

Talk About Goal Setting Key #1: Count the Cost Key #2: Put it in Pen Key #3: Just Do It Key #4: Use Momentous Moments Key #5: Rope Up #1: Negative Labels #2: “It’s All Over” Syndrome #3: Wrong Wall Share out if possible On your own paper, write 4-6 sentences explaining which part of goal setting may be most difficult for you and which of the three “Watch Outs” are you most concerned about.

Day 9: Habit 3

Habit #3: First Things First “It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” ~ Edmund Hillary, first person to climb Mt. Everest With Habit 1, you’ve chosen to be the driver and not the passenger. With Habit 2, you’ve decided where you want to go and you’ve drawn a map. Now, with Habit 3, you’re going to get there! Priority Versus Procrastination Will and Won’t Power Discuss the quote before starting.

Think About…. Getting dressed in the morning What comes first? What’s Important? What happens when you put first things last? Get a few answers to each of these questions

Think About…. Packing a Suitcase How much can you fit into it when you toss stuff in? How much can you fit when you take the time to plan and organize it? Get a few answers to each of these questions

Prioritize! Control of Your Life Balance High Performance *Things to Do* Plan Weekly: Take 15 minutes at the beginning of the week to plan your week out. Identify the “Big Rocks”: Ask yourself “What are the most important things I need to do this week? (I.E.: Study for Weekly Vocab Quiz, Exercise 2 times, Football Game, Finish Project. Etc.) Block out time for “Big Rocks”: Plan these first and then fit in your small “pebbles”, which are the little everyday things that can eat up time. (I.e. chores, phone calls, busy work, etc.) Adapt when needed. Be flexible. Are we still going agendas? If so, point out how that will help. If not, point out calendars in cell phones that serve just as well. Walk through each of these carefully.

Prioritize! Let’s discuss: Are you the type to plan ahead? Do you think you can be successful without planning and prioritizing? Explain Do you intend to plan and prioritize when school starts? Give them a few minutes to answer then discuss. Let them know there’s no shame in answering honestly.

Day 10: Review

So far, we have covered Being proactive Beginning with the end in mind Putting first things first. Now, it is time to start putting those things into practice.

Emphasis: Goal Setting and Prioritizing We’ll just assume all of you have decided to be proactive, so we’re going to focus on setting a goal and starting to plan for that goal. Let’s recap some important this about goal setting.

5 Keys to Goal Setting Goals are more specific than a mission statement and can help you break your mission down into smaller pieces. Key #1: Count the Cost What will your goal require? What are the benefits? Are you willing to make the sacrifice? For example, A goal to get better grades would require more time doing math and grammar and less time hanging out with friends. But the benefit of getting better grades will give you a sense of accomplishment, it could get you a scholarship, and much more. Key #2: Put it in Pen A written goal carries ten times the power of an unwritten one. “A goal not written is only a wish.” Run through these quickly since we have covered them before

5 Keys to Goal Setting (cont.) Key #3: Just Do It There is a difference between “I’ll Try” and “I will.” You wouldn’t lend money to someone who is only going to “try” and get it back to you. You wouldn’t want to marry someone who is only going to “try” being faithful to you. Fully commit to your goal. “Do or do not. There is no try.” Key #4: Use Momentous Moments Moments that have a beginning or an end help to bring momentum to our goals. For example, a new year is a new place to start. And breaking up is an end to something, but still a new place to find momentum and new things in life. Touch experiences carry momentum. Use them to propel you forward. Key #5: Rope Up Borrow strength from others. Rope up with friends, family, counselors, teachers, pastors, and whomever else you can. They can only help you. Run through these quickly since we have covered them before

Three Watch-Outs Watch out for the dangerous roadblocks! #1: Negative Labels Labels are an ugly form of prejudice. When you label, you are pre-judging someone without getting to know them. If you are labeled something enough times, you begin to believe it and it comes true. You are not your labels. #2: “It’s All Over” Syndrome Mistakes are okay. Even if you make them over and over. Don’t self-destruct. It’s never over. It’s normal to make mistakes, especially ones that we tend to regret years later. Adults do it. Teenagers do it. #3: Wrong Wall It’s common to work so hard for something you want, only to get it and feel empty. It’s easy to lose sight of who you are and what you want when something else starts to go right with you. Make sure to listen to your conscience and be brutally honest with yourself. Run through these quickly since we have covered them before

Your Turn to Act Time for you to start articulating the successes you want to have during your time at Edna Karr High School. Take a couple of minutes to think and write down an academic goal you would like to accomplish. Your goal can be: an overall GPA or class rank target a grade in a particular class improvement in something you usually struggle with a recent success that you’d like to continue related to your work habits (staying focused, doing more homework, completing more class work, etc.) Give students two minutes to write down goals. Have a few share out

Your Turn to Act, ctd Helpful Things Harmful Things Now that your goal has been set, it’s time to lay the groundwork for achievement. Underneath your written goal, make a t-chart. List the things that will help you achieve your goal on one side, and list the things that will hold you back on the other. Helpful Things Harmful Things Give students three to five minutes to do this.

Your Turn to Act, ctd Let’s make it a little more personal now. Underneath your t-chart, talk about what YOU are going to do to achieve your goal. Use four to six sentences to prioritize the most important things you know you need to do and to avoid in order to better you chance at success. Give students two minutes to write down goals. Afterwards, have students share how. Get other students to suggest other things that might help with achieving a shared goal.