1 Invoking Inherent Inspiration (I.I.I. or Aye! Aye! Aye!): Motivating and Encouraging Youth through Communication Michelle Vazquez Jacobus

2 Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he will eat for life. Confucius

3 Part I: COACHING Communicating to Invoke Inherent Inspiration

4 COACHING Is a Two Way Partnership

5 Coaching occurs when a worker… provides positive feedback reinforcing healthy behavior listens to the youth and others concerns provides corrective feedback indicating concerns about unhealthy behavior as an impediment to successful living clears the air by tackling issues of concern before they become crises helps the youth to perform a new task, develop a skill, solve a problem or build a confidence.

6 Coaching Ground Rules: Focus on behavior - not the person. Be descriptive, not evaluative. Listen Be concrete Be clear and direct Be timely Be consistent, reliable and, wherever possible, honest Deal with one issue at a time Emphasize mutual responsibility Emphasize building strengths rather than improving weaknesses Solicit the youths self-evaluation of strengths and needed improvements. Always see and reflect potential for positive change – Never Say Never Again

7 Focus on the Behavior Not the Person

8 Be Descriptive Not Evaluative

9 Listen and Keep the Focus on the Youth

10 Be Concrete and Specific

11 Be Clear and Direct

12 Be Timely

13 Be consistent, reliable, and whenever possible, honest.

14 Deal with one issue at a time X Meet with teacher X buy coat Sign up for lessons

15 Emphasize mutual responsibility

16 Emphasize building strengths rather than improving weaknesses.

17 Solicit the youths self evaluation of strengths and needed improvements.

18 Part II: The Skills of Coaching Providing Structure Active Listening Asking Questions Making Suggestions Giving Feedback

19 Providing Structure Hold regular, preplanned meetings with youth Hold meetings when there have been successes as well as when there are problems Ensure that any meetings with others follow clear agenda Conclude all formal and informal meetings with youth with summary of meeting, agreement on actions each will take, and date of next meeting.

20 Active Listening DoDont Quiet your own mindInterrupt Know when to listenFinish youths sentences Tell him that you know him, that you know what she means, or that you know what he wants (even if you think you do)LET THEM TELL YOU!

21 Use Multiple Forms of Communication Body language (positive non verbal signs) Positive verbal signals Positive open environment

22 Body language Nodding Smiling Attentive Posture Open Posture Interested Facial Expressions Eye Contact

23 Positive Verbal Signals: Oh I see Mmm-hmm Thats interesting Really (Not with disbelief but confirmation) Tell me more about… Prompting (repeating youths last or most significant words to ask for more information You say you had trouble with your brother then?

24 Positive/Open Environment Non obstructed space between worker and youth (worker is not behind desk) Non-cluttered enough that there is room to sit and move comfortably Pleasing/soothing colors, fabrics, décor A few personal (though not intimate) knickknacks

25 Hear the whole youth and all that s/he is saying

26 Summarize Let me check to be sure I understand… So, youre saying that… As I understand you… Let me see if Ive got that… What I hear you saying is… So, our assignments for next week are…

27 Open Ended Questions: Clarifying Questions What does that mean to you? Creative Questions How have you seen other people deal with the same situation? Process Questions What would you like to get out of the meeting with the principal?

28 Clarifying Questions: What does that mean to you? Can I make sure I understand that…? If I hear you correctly what you are saying is…

29 Creative Questions: How have you seen other people handle similar situations? Can you explain more about where youre going with that? Would you like to talk about that some more? What would you do here if you could do whatever you wanted (money were not a problem)?

30 Process Questions: What would you like to get out of this/that meeting? What do you think I/you need to communicate to ensure everyone understands…?

31 Follow-up Questions Reflective éYou say you were happy when…How so? éYou say your father was angry when he saw that? How did you know he was angry? To get more information éIn what way would this make things easier for you? éJust how would you involve your foster siblings in this task?

32 Closed Questions: Did you …? When was (this event)? How often did you…? How many times were you…?

33 Other Less Useful Questions: Leading questions: I assume you…didnt you? Hypothetical questions If you were me…? Multiple questions, Would you have gone to the beach even if your sister didnt say she was going to be there with your ex?

34 Suggestions on how to make suggestions: Do not impose your ideas. Be sure the youth has exhausted her own ideas before you offer your own. Encourage the youth to come up with further suggestions even if she seems to have dried up Provide prompts to encourage creativity. Position your suggestions as additional thoughts which arise from youths ideas instead of as the primary source.

35 Giving Feedback The way in which you give feedback will determine whether it is accepted or acted upon. Feedback should describe the behavior, not judge the person. Feedback should be constructive not negative. Feedback should be factual, specific, and accurate-not vague. Feedback should be about behaviors the youth can change, not about situations outside the youths control. Feedback should be prompt but should always respect confidentiality and privacy. Feedback should describe the consequences of behavior in objective, not reactive, terms.

36 Listen Reflect Plan Provide Experience Practice Part III: Coaching Through the Cycle

37 Listen understand acknowledge youths voice help youth identify needs and wants

38 Plan Goals Objectives Destination Direction Guidance

39 Provide Experience Real life Experiential Learning Safe Space to Grow

40 Practice Learn from Mistakes Gain Confidence from Successes Preparation and Readiness Delay of Gratification

41 Reflect Review Reconsider Incorporate Lessons

42 Hope CONNECTICUT Drivers License BIRTHDATE 10/16/90 Amanda Sue Dobson EXPIRES 10/16/2010

43 Sometimes, teaching a youth to fish requires sharing your vision of him catching one.