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Raising Teens - Review So far, I have given a lot of positive advice on how to parent your teens: Teach your teens to fear the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). Give your teens more and more adult responsibilities. Have deep and frequent conversations with your teens; carefully listening to them, helping them think through issues. Today we will be taking a look at a difficult but necessary subject: what to do if your teen goes into full-fledged rebellion.

Teens in Rebellion All teens do a certain amount of rebelling, but in this section I’m talking about teens who have really “gone off the deep end”. For example: They’ve told you they’re simply not going to obey you any more and you can’t stop them. They’ve run away from home. They become addicted to alcohol or drugs. They’ve given themselves over to some serious perversion: homosexuality, lesbianism, transgenderism. I hope this never happens to you, but don’t think that teenagers raised in a Christian family can’t do these things – they can!

Teens in Rebellion So what should you do if you find yourself in this situation? I personally lean very strongly towards a “tough love” approach to this kind of situation. I advise you to find a counselor who largely shares your worldview, preferably has some experience counseling parents with rebellious teens, and is willing to be available day or night to give you sound, objective advice. Be careful (especially Moms) to avoid “rescuing” a rebellious teen.

Teens in Rebellion During this time, you will find that many people in your life (friends, family, church members, coworkers, etc.) want to give you unsolicited advice about what you “should do” – take their advice with a grain of salt. Your immediate priority, if you can, is to get your teen “back on track”. Doing so may require some pretty serious discipline (usually in the form of consequences). There is no guarantee that you will be able to bring them around, though you owe it to them and to yourself to try. At some point you may have to turn them out and trust that the Lord will eventually use the consequences of their rebellion to bring them around.

Teens in Rebellion As you struggle with this situation, you will often find yourself wanting to know why this has happened. If you’re like me you will vacillate between blaming others and blaming yourself : Blaming Others: Those “bad friends” who lead your unsuspecting teen astray, or perhaps even the teen himself – “he is so hard hearted”. Blaming Yourself: A sense of regret that you may have had a part in planting the seeds of rebellion that are now in full bloom.

Teens in Rebellion More than likely you had a part in what is now happening and it will be good for you to come to terms with that at some point, but you probably will not be able to get to the bottom of it while in the process of dealing with ongoing rebellion. You’re just too close to the situation to stand back and see the big picture that will emerge as you reflect back on this time in later years. In the meantime, your teen is responsible for his own behavior. He can’t blame you or his friends. He is choosing to continue in his rebellion.

Questions Concerning Teens in Rebellion Do you believe it’s possible for one of your young children to grow up and go into full-fledged rebellion against you? Have you ever personally witnessed a child who grew up in a Christian home going into rebellion against his parents when he got older? I have recommended a “tough love” approach to rebellious teens. What do you think about that idea? Where do you come down on the “nature/nurture” debate?