What are you Afraid of? Click to edit Master title style Culture Change: What are you Afraid of? Kara Minotti Becker Regional Agile Delivery Lead The Eliassen Group

The Holy Grail of Agile Transformation

Principle-driven Values Principles Value-driven Purpose-focused Norms Mindset

Change your mindset! Hurry up! Do it now! Ready? Go!

Change comes with practice.

How do you practice An idea? A value? A WAY of BEING? A MINDSET?

Think like a zucchini! Hurry up! Do it!

Are you in your zucchini brain? Are you in your zucchini brain? Excellent! Now go out and do good for the farming community! Change your garden! Start with the rutabaga, they’re a big problem! NO.   You can no more think like a zucchini, if you aren’t one, than you can think like a collaborative servant leader, for example, if you aren’t one. (add a picture of a zucchini with a brain on top, then one of that with a circle and line through it.)

So. How do you find your way to culture change?

It’s not be. It’s not think. It’s not feel. It’s not value.

IT’S DO. In the end, no one cares what you’re thinking. They care what you’re doing. That’s what matters.

So you just tell people to change their behaviors, right?

Yay! We’re done!

The problem is that when you tell people to change their behavior… THEY DON’T.

Why?

Fear.

Let’s say I walk into a room with a competent, intelligent person Let’s say I walk into a room with a competent, intelligent person. Someone who relies, every day, on feeling qualified, good, useful, valuable, successful. Someone just like you.

Now I tell you to change.

But you feel Qualified Good Useful Valuable Successful You have a job But you feel Qualified Good Useful Valuable Successful You have a job. You’re good at it. You know you’re good at it because you still have a job.

Why would you change? Because I say so? Because I know more than you?

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously.

Qualified, good, useful, valuable, successful. That’s a lot to lose.

Fear.

So we can’t make people think different So we can’t make people think different. And we can’t make them act different. Now what?

What you can do is help them find and practice a new behavior.

You can help them discover some ways to act more like a zucchini.

STOP The secret to getting people to change is to trying to get them to change.

What you really need to know: What is the fear?

Then, you can identify the outcome that addresses that fear Then, you can identify the outcome that addresses that fear. You’re not after a behavior. You’re after an OUTCOME.

Oddly enough, it’s not the other person’s fear you need to know about Oddly enough, it’s not the other person’s fear you need to know about. It’s YOURS. (Or your teams)

An example: cleaning the house

If you want to understand how to help bring about new behaviors… Look at yourself (or your team) first. Find the fear.

Let’s try it.

What are YOU afraid of?

1 min Think of something you really want someone else to do, or stop doing. REALLY REALLY REALLY. Could be work, doesn’t have to be. You think they NEED to do it. Oh my gosh. It’s vital. But they won’t. They’re not. RRRRGH!

Write it down on your card.

3 min What happens TO ME if they don’t do this thing I want them to do, or they keep doing what they are? Use: Why? What happens then? What else? Keep asking yourself what happens TO ME until you hear emotional words. Stop when you feel like you’ve heard something about who you are. It might be something vulnerable. Something you wouldn’t want to say out loud.

That’s what you’re afraid of. Write it down. (Don’t worry That’s what you’re afraid of. Write it down. (Don’t worry. No one’s going to see.)

Now. What’s the real OUTCOME you’re after. What’s do you really need Now. What’s the real OUTCOME you’re after? What’s do you really need? Remember my example. Hint: It’s probably not activity, like I want you to stop controlling meetings. It’s probably a feeling, like I want to feel like you’re listening to me.

Make an outcome out of the fear you’ve discovered. 3 min Make an outcome out of the fear you’ve discovered.

Once you have an outcome, you’re on to something.

Outcomes = Options Remember our example. What are the options Outcomes = Options Remember our example? What are the options? What other behaviors or changes could get me the same outcome?

3 min Now, write a list of actions that could lead to the outcome. Is the original thing you wanted, the behavior that started this whole inquiry, still on the list? Are there other options now?

You don’t get someone to change by telling them to change.

You make yourself vulnerable by revealing the outcome you need You make yourself vulnerable by revealing the outcome you need. You ask for help with that outcome. “What can we do, individually or together, to get that outcome?”

Try it again. Practice, practice!

1 min Get a new card. Write down something you REALLY want someone else to do… or stop doing. Something you consider culture-related. Work-related. Team-related. Examples?

3 min Now ask yourself: What will happen to your team? What then? What else? When you’ve heard something that sounds like “they’ll feel…” …you’re on the right track!

That’s what you’re afraid of for your team. Write it down.

Now. What’s the real OUTCOME you’re after. What’s the result Now. What’s the real OUTCOME you’re after? What’s the result? Remember: It’s probably not an activity, like I want you to stop micro-managing. It’s probably a feeling, like I want the team to feel like they are getting to make decisions.

Make an outcome out of the fear you’ve discovered. 3 min Make an outcome out of the fear you’ve discovered.

3 min Write a list of actions that could lead to the outcome. Is the original behavior change you wanted still on the list? Are there any other options now?

So how do you make culture change happen?

Kara’s Secret Formula to Culture Change (It’s patented Kara’s Secret Formula to Culture Change (It’s patented. You owe me money if you use it.)

Ask yourself: What’s the culture adjustment needed? Identify: What’s the troubling behavior you see? Inquire with yourself. What will happen TO YOU if the change doesn’t happen? What will happen TO YOUR TEAM if the change doesn’t happen? Drill down. And then? What else? Why? Drive down to the fear. Listen for emotion. Turn that fear into an outcome you want. Leave the behavior to be determined later.

Put the outcome in front of the person with honesty. This is the outcome, this is the fear and concern that arises from what they are doing (or not doing) now. Humbly ask for help. Can you help me/the team? Can you do, or not do, something STOP TALKING. Let them brainstorm ideas for actions and behaviors. Jump on anything that works. DON’T BE RIGHT. Say thank you.

Besides solutions to a troubling behavior. What are we getting Besides solutions to a troubling behavior... What are we getting? Trust Empathy Options Partnership Openness

PS It might go sideways the first time. This is Agile. Iterate.

Thank you!

Kara Minotti Becker The Eliassen Group Click to edit Master title style Kara Minotti Becker The Eliassen Group kbecker@eliassen.com 508.667.6960 www.linkedin.com/in/karaminottibecker @kminottibecker