Domestic Violence 101

APC is committed to providing safe shelter, advocacy, and supportive services for victims of domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, and the homeless, thus empowering them to make the transition from victim to survivor; and to provide preventative education programs about domestic violence, rape, sexual assault and homelessness for our community.

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Domestic violence is a legal term used to describe the parameters of family and dating violence for the purpose of law enforcement. North Carolina Law (paraphrased) defines Domestic Violence in the following way: The commission of one or both of the following acts upon an individual by a person who has had a *personal relationship with that individual (but does not include acts of self-defense): Attempting to, or actually causing, bodily injury; or Placing an individual in fear of imminent serious bodily injury Conducts continued harassment, that rises to such a level as to inflict substantial emotional distress

A relationship wherein the parties involved: 1.Are current or former spouses 2.Are persons of opposite sex who reside together or have resided together 3.Are related as parents and children, including others acting in loco parentis to a minor child or as grandparents and grandchildren 4.Have a child in common 5.Are current or former household members 6.Are persons of the opposite sex who are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship

Abuse is a series of actions (verbal, physical, emotional, financial, sexual, etc.) perpetrated to gain power and control over another person in a relationship. It is very important to understand that abuse is not merely a collection of unrelated assaults that occur repeatedly over time. The implication of the above definition is that abuse is a related series of actions either…. Verbal Physical Emotional …that are enacted with one intent… to gain power and control; and end in one result….. ……HARM to the well-being of those exposed to it.

1. Tension Building 2. Acute Battering (Explosion) 3. Manipulation through Kindness (Honeymoon)

Tension Building: The abuser begins to increase tension in the relationship through increased arguing. This may include the silent treatment, moodiness or violent mood swings, minor/major threats, and/or put downs. This may last a couple of days or for months. Acute Battering: Abuser chooses to explode in violence. Can manifest in verbal and/or physical violence. Ends when abuser regains control, victim leaves, police are called, and/or medical attention is sought. Abuse through Kindness: Often calm and loving. The abuser may appear very apologetic, may beg for forgiveness, promise to never do it again, may buy gifts as a peace offering. During this phase the abuser will manipulate the victim through kindness. This could last from hours to months or until the tension begins to build again.

1985- The U.S. Surgeon General declared family violence a national epidemic Platform of the 4 th United Nations World Conference on Women states that family violence is an epidemic in societies around the world. The majorities of adult victims of family violence are women. The majority of adult victimizers are men. Repeated abuse can cause psychological distress and result in PTSD, depression, increased anxiety, dissociative disorders, substance abuse, and suicidal feelings. Several types of abuse within the family are often connected. For example, men who batter their partners are more likely to be abusing their children as well. Secondary victimization (exposure to, but not directly the victim of, family violence) can cause psychological symptoms similar to those experienced by the victim of abuse.

Nearly 1 in 4 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood At least 4 million DV incidents against women are reported every year 20% are aggravated assaults in the home 57% of children under 12 who are murdered are killed by a parent Each year about 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers

WHY DOES SHE STAY?DOES WHY DOES SHE STAY?DOES Why doesnt she leave? What we SHOULD be asking is : WHY DOESNT HE LEAVE Why does he batter? How is he getting away with this ?