Dating, Single Life, & Mate Selection Perhaps the characteristic of mate selection in America that most distinguishes is us from the rest of the world is that we get to do it!!!!! There are no arranged marriages, chaperones, childhood betrothals

Dating, Single Life, & Mate Selection The topic of mate selection has become increasingly complex as American lifestyles have changed Increasing numbers of Americans are delaying marriage, cohabitating and divorcing; some never marry at all

Why do we date? Dating fills time between puberty and marriage

Why do we date? Dating is a way to gain social status based on whom and how often one dates

Why do we date? Dating is opportunity for the sexes to interact and learn about each other.

Why do we date? Dating meets ego needs

Why do we date? Dating leads to mate selection for most individuals

Dating and communicating Poor communications and lack of commitment are 2 major problems and we know that these are the major building blocks for successful relationships. Sexual intimacy seems to take away from these important factors

Changing sexual mores American sexual mores have become increasingly liberal Popular culture – movies and music Premarital sex Historical double standard for women

Changing sexual mores Sexually transmitted diseases Lets look at appendix A for a little bit

Changing sexual mores Unwanted pregnancies are a problems Pro choice vs. Pro life: is this something that should have been communicated before you had sex?

Changing sexual mores Early commitment and isolation The quality of sex Usually pretty poor What about date rape?

Date rape and courtship violence Generally women of all ages, races, and marital status report that most incidents of violence are committed by an acquaintance rather than by a stranger

Date rape and courtship violence Men often appear to confuse friendly with sexually interested Combine this scenario with alcohol and a stage is set

Date rape and courtship violence Many men and women do not discuss their sexual intentions openly and frankly Differences exist in perceptions of sexual intent

Date rape and courtship violence Differing expectations about what stage in the relationship sex is okay Miscommunication is more common when alcohol or drugs are being used The use of token resistance by some women may create a belief in some men that protest encountered is not really meant by women NO MEANS NO

Date rape and courtship violence Date-Rape Drug Prohibition Act of 2000

Dating patterns There is great opportunity for informal opposite sex interaction Dating is less formal

Dating patterns There no longer seems to be a set progression of stages Casual dating of numerous people Multiple dates with fewer persons Going steady Cohabitating or getting engaged Married

College dating Hooking up or being joined at the hip Bad dates Exploitation Rape culture

Social channels of love Dating varies with social class, ethnicity, and cultural background. Dating is homogenous Propinquity

Postponing marriage & cohabitation Greater acceptance of sex outside of marriage Education Career choices Self-fulfillment

Cohabitation and Marriage Cohabitating partners are more unfaithful and fight more often than married couples Higher rates of domestic violence Marriage after cohabitation tends to be more unstable

Cohabitation and Marriage People who are divorced are more likely to cohabitate afterwards Self-fulfilling prophecy? Enter a relationship partly to see if it will last, and by keeping the possibility of an easy out you be helping the break up from the beginning

First impressions Physical attractiveness Halo effect- the tendency for first impressions to influence succeeding evaluations Give a person traits that are not even there Future disappointments

Physical attractiveness Usually an advantage however Some persons tend to avoid highly attractive people Fear of rejection Sought after by others in the future

Engagement Until recently it has been a pretty formal stage Increased age for marriage Remarriages Cohabitation

Functions of engagement Where will live? Children? Money? Employment Premarital medical exam Premarital counseling