ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

PRIMARY BASES OF ATTRACTION s REWARDS s PROXIMITY s SIMILARITY s PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS s WANTING WHAT YOU CANT HAVE

SIMILARITY & DISSIMILARITY s WHY DO WE SEEK SIMILARITIES? –Suggests a common view of the world –Suggests promising energy investment

s WHAT SIMILARITIES DO WE LOOK FOR? –Share understanding/acceptance of norms? –Share aspects of communicative style? –Share personal characteristics? –Share personal preferences? –Share needs?

s WHEN DO SIMILARITIES NOT LEAD TO RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT? –Offsetting dissimilarities –Adequate stable of friends –Other is similar on things youd like to avoid –Other is disliked by another valued/similar person –Early similarities superficial; dont hold up –Specifics of abstract similarities revealed as dissimilarities

s WHEN DO DISSIMILARITIES POSITIVELY AFFECT ATTRACTION? –Put yourself in contrast to others to test self –Time and energy investment is short –Differences dont challenge most cherished beliefs –Differences are what youd like to be like or need –Offsetting rewards –Dissimilarities minimally effect type of attraction

s HOW ARE SIMILARITIES/DISSIMILARITIES REVEALED? –In changing bits and pieces (not like in phantom-other experiments) –Perhaps not revealed per se (e.g., you perceive flexibility which you then see everywhere) –When other behaves out of the ordinary –Dating services; online matchmaking sites u countrysingles.com u Match.com (100,000 active members claimed)

ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS (FOR MEN & WOMEN) s HONESTY, COMPETENCE, INTELLIGENCE, ENERGY, ABILITY, WARMTH, CONSIDERATION, UNDERSTANDING, SENSE OF HUMOR, DEPENDABILITY, EMOTIONAL STABILITY

THE DARK SIDE OF ATTRACTION s FATAL ATTRACTION –When the characteristics that attract a couple to each other create hurt & eventually destroy the relationship s TWO-SIDED ATTRACTION –When the same characteristic that attracted you to a person becomes a characteristic which you dont like